Doing the possible so the impossible can happen

 By Christopher Cudworth

Heat can last well into the fall competitive season.

Effort, and perceived effort are the fabric of achievement

There are accomplishments about which we all dream. Personal records we strive to achieve. At times these goals seem unreachable. Impossible.

But we persist, doing the small things that add up to big changes in our bodies, minds and hearts. Doing the possible so the impossible can happen.

Transcendence 

One of the most transcendent moments an athlete can experience occurs not in competition but in practice or a workout when an effort that used to be difficult comes with greater ease. It can be the pace of an interval workout. Climbing a hill on the bike. Even swimming without that sinking feeling that comes with fatigue.

When those things happen in practice the human mind becomes adapted to a new level of performance.

Run fast, repeat

Recently a friend shared an experience in which they were doing a set of repeat miles when the group doing the workout got excited by the feeling of running fast. The pace picked up and three laps ticked by at 67 seconds per lap. With the coach exhorting them to slow down, not to race in practice, the group ignored the directive and kept going, finishing in just under 4:30 for the mile. In practice.

That kind of breakthrough moment does wondrous things for an athlete. At the world class level we’ve seen marathoners tear through the middle miles at 4:40 pace and even 4:30 in surges and we wonder, how do they do that?

The answer is that they have done the possible in order to accomplish the impossible.

Dialing it up

World class athletes effectively deny our perceptions of the possible.

World class athletes effectively deny our perceptions of the possible.

That may include running even faster than 4:30 per mile in practice in order to prepare to run 4:30 in a marathon race with ease. Many world class distance runners are capable of mile times below 4:10 and even 4:00 per mile, making 4:30 seem like a jog. That means the sustainability of running 4:40 pace much less strain on the body.

When our distance team at a small Midwestern college (insert your own Penthouse joke here) prepared to run against much better teams at the Drake Relays each year, we’d set up a workout to do repeat quarter miles at 60 seconds each. We knew none of us was capable of a 4:00 mile, but running that pace was possible, and the remote possibility of getting on a roll and caught up in the pace would often drag us to “enhanced” times, bettering our PRs by seconds or even whole chunks of time.

Pulled to new levels

At the eli

At the elite level of cycling, overcoming pain is key to making the impossible possible. 

It’s just as miraculous to get caught up in a pace line on a bike and get pulled to distances and speeds you never thought imaginable. Early in my cycling career on a windy day in March I knew enough to tuck into the group going out into the wind. Some massively strong triathlete pulled us along at 22-24 mph for 30 miles into the wind. He hardly got off the front at all. I jumped into his wake for miles at a time, staring at the vee shape of his back and catching rare glimpses of his seemingly indefatigable thighs. The effort became trancelike, flirting with fatigue at every pedal stroke yet rolling onward.

When we turned southwest the wind became a crosswind and it was tougher to find space in which to relax. Yet the miles rolled by, and the cyclometer showed a pace per mile of 22 mph.

Finally we swept around a big curve and the wind was at our backs. I thought that would be time to relax. Instead, the group jumped on some invisible signal and I got gapped. All was lost. The group tore off ahead at 26 mph hour. There was no catching them now.

I was left to ride the last 20 miles of a 70-miler alone. Yet the thrill of riding so hard did not dissipate. I finished with an average of just over 21 mph, cutting across several spans of crosswind on my own.

Feeling the change, being the change

Our imaginations of what we can do need to compete with those of others. Yet there is collaboration even in those endeavors.

Our imaginations of what we can do need to compete with those of others. Yet there is collaboration even in those endeavors.

Turning into the driveway that day the world felt completely different. Truly the impossible had happened. I’d never ridden near that far, that fast. Sure, as beneficiary of all those group draft dynamics the work could not be claimed as my own, alone. But rides would come in which 20 mph became the norm as a solo rider.

It wasn’t sudden, but the impossible had indeed become possible. It happens with every pedal stroke. Every stride. Every revelation of self and purpose and hope.

Evolving abilities

Some people argue that the world and its amazing diversity could not have come about without a great designer. Experience tells us something different, yet no less amazing or exclusive of something fantastic to realize. It depends on our manner of vision.

In fact the organ we call the eye came about through incremental changes in cells and tissues that inferred a critical advantage to creatures that could sense light. At the most basic level, this was vision. That it became shared by so many billions of creatures and their kinds is evidence that the possible can indeed lead to the impossible. Thus we can see in full color, but it came about one tiny shade and light particle at a time. It is as if the universe had a hunger to be seen, and in return, it rewards our seeing.

A fantastic model for the impossible

That same process is what we call “vision,” and it’s what businesses try to create in their employees. The communal change that comes about when people begin to share even the simplest vision can be a powerful thing. It is also why people who run and ride share something special in their endeavors. What we are witnessing––to each other and within each other––is the impossible becoming possible one person at a time.

That’s a wonderful, miraculous thing no matter how you look at it.

We Run and Ride. So do you. Let's share original thoughts.

We Run and Ride. So do you. Let’s share original thoughts.

 

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The antithesis of fitness

By Christopher Cudworth

We can all learn some things from a dog like Ike, a zen character who knows how to live in his own skin.

We can all learn some things from a dog like Ike, a zen character who knows how to live in his own skin.

Having spent all of my life exercising my brains and guts out, running so far and so long that my body almost evaporated several times in the heat, it can be hard at times to pause and appreciate the benefits of slowing down.

I can honestly say that at some point in life I recognized something in myself akin to an exercise addiction. My self esteem was so wrapped up in running faster that I didn’t feel right or honest or true if I wasn’t on that perceived “road to success.”

Even when I took up cycling almost a decade ago there came some moments along the way where it wasn’t obvious what the training was about. Sometimes you get rolling on a bike and you finish the ride and can’t remember a single thing you saw along the way. You ride too hard too often, pounding away at the same pace, staring at the cyclometer with panicked eyes.

That’s not what one would call “being present in the moment.”

Instead you’re not really enjoying what you’re doing, or getting better at it as a result. You forget cadence or pacing, or varying your routine, training faster or slower for variability. It all matters though. Just paying attention to what you’re doing when you plan a ride or run, or while you’re doing it.

Carry that weight

A friend once told me that riding thoughtlessly is the direct result of needing to process other things along the way. And for sure, there were days and weeks and months over the last decade that required considerable focus. Over the last 8 years, managing treatments and bills and morale while my wife was going through ovarian cancer meant there were days when room for my own thoughts simply wasn’t there. Add in job changes, financial responsibilities and caregiving for my stroke-ridden father… and the Beatles song, “Carry That Weight” comes to mind.

Now it’s 2013. 8 years passed since 2005 when I lost my mom to cancer, took over caregiving for my father and dealt with the first phases and treatments of ovarian cancer with my wife.

“You’re gonna carry that weight, a long time…”

Gratitude and release

Over the past couple months, my mind has worked through the many things that happened along the way to make those burdens easier. So many people helped us in so many ways. My wife was brave and honest and resolute through her struggle with cancer. I am proud of her. Proud of my kids. Yet proud also that I have the will and hope to move on in life. I know that’s what she wanted. I could hear it in the way she always said my name, “Chris,” with her strong yet gentle nature.

In so many ways those events and her example are true inspirations, which are the antithesis of burden. So life beckons. The May rain falls. Flowers bloom. The road calls.

Of course it’s hard to keep up in some ways. It has been quite a busy time since she passed away on March 26, 2013. Just assuming the household management is a lot of new things to do in the daily schedule. The bills that need to be paid in intelligent ways when someone passes away have occupied considerable time and thought.

Just getting to work on time some mornings has been a scramble.

But its getting better. Getting better all the time. 

Still a ways to go

That doesn’t mean I’m as physically fit as I’d like to be.

By this time most years I’m riding 50 milers at a pretty good pace. 18mph on my own. 20+ mph with a group. But not this year. And that’s okay.

I’m not fat by appearance, but the fitness test administered by XSport upon joining the club showed a BFI of 20%+. They want me down to 14%. The lowest I’ve ever been in 3%.

It’s all about perspective, you see.

Well okay, I admit it. The Holiday weight did not go away this year.

But you know what? You don’t have to be perfectly fit all the time. In fact, last year I overdid it again. The heat wave in Illinois wore me down with all the riding I was doing, and running too, to the point where I complained to a friend that I had no apparent zip and he told me something I hadn’t heard in at least 20 years. “Maybe you’re overtrained.”

Revelations

Holy Crap, I thought. He’s right. I was en route to riding nearly 4000 miles. Not a ton by some cyclist’s standards but for me, that’s a lot.

We all need to understand that overtraining, just like being way undertrained, is the antithesis of fitness. It doesn’t do us any good to grind our bodies, or our minds, clear into the ground.

But I’m happy to say that the difficult times have indeed made me stronger. I’ve learned to have faith in certain things, and in uncertain things too. Trust is important both in relationships and in daily life. Trust yourself. But trust God too. Life can be an amazing process, and it’s best to enjoy it even when things don’t go perfectly well.

Be like Ike

But it might actually do us some good to lie down and roll around in the grass, like the dog in the photo at the top of this essay. His name is Ike. He’s fat. And he’s a zen dog. 

His feet flip under when he runs in a trot that looks like his legs are disconnected from his body. But Ike knows how to dish out the love, baby. And he doesn’t seem to worry about too much. Hence the puka shells around his neck. Ike would look great on a surfboard. He’s like one of those big dudes on the beach with a wide round belly and a “F*** you” tan. At home in his prodigious skin.

So while I plan to lose about 8-10 lbs this summer at some point, down to about 168-170 at 6’1″ (XSport says 163…) I’m also going to pay attention to the example of Ike–who may be the antithesis of fitness–but he knows how to live, however long that may be.

Want proof that it’s okay not to be superfit all the time? This article on just appeared in the Wall Street Journal.

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Cows have a Whole new plan to take over the world

By Christopher Cudworth

Lactose can make you feel like you're going to explode. And cows are to blame.

Lactose can make you feel like you’re going to explode. And cows are to blame.

Recently I had an unholy experience with whole milk

It all started because some habits we take for granted, like buying a certain kind of milk at the store.

For years our family has used either 2%, 1% or fat free milk at home.

But while shopping a month ago, I failed to pay attention to the label and brought home whole milk.

What a mistake.

Wholly unholy milk week

For three days my stomach was so painfully engaged trying to digest that whole milk it felt like it was about to explode.

Nuff said.

Nuff said.

At first I blamed some other parts of my diet. Even cast an evil eye toward the knockoff sports drinks our company stocks in our freezer.

But by the third day of Whole Milk week it became difficult to operate in a social environment. My stomach was gurgling all the time. It was even necessary on occasion to step outside, if you catch my drift. And I hope you didn’t.

I ran through everything I’d eaten to figure out if food poisoning was the problem.

Milking the situation

And then it hit me: The only thing I’d changed was the milk.

So the next morning I ate waffles instead of cereal. No more Whole Milk. Immediately, the problem went away.

Whether this indicates a lactose intolerance at some level I do not know. The problems don’t arise with 2% milk or under. So the whole milk still sits in my refrigerator. Offered it to the neighbor lady for cooking. No reply. Perhaps whole milk is unholy in some way, and I do not know it.

Sacred cows

In some parts of the world, cows have already taken over and are worshipped like gods.

In some parts of the world, cows have already taken over and are worshipped like gods.

It’s possible. Cows may be sacred in India, but here in America they probably hate us. We milk them and eat them and turn them into leather baseballs and mitts.

Cows are nothing much more than a cruddy commodity. And I think they’re pissed off enough to seek revenge.

It would not surprise me, therefore, to find out cows have conspired to take us humans down. Could you really blame them?

Cow Rapture

It’s a pretty nifty plan, if you ask me. The effects of that whole milk, if I had continued to drink it, were destined to blow me to bits or turn me into a red mist like I’d just been popped out a space capsule in outer space.

Another couple days and it might have looked like the Rapture itself at my work desk. Poof! Gone in an instant. Wonder what the Left Behind folks would say about that.

Some badass evil cows are coming after you, one glass of whole milk at a time.

Some badass evil cows are coming after you, one glass of whole milk at a time.

But the cows would know better. Cows aren’t as dumb as they look, you see. They’ve been lulling us into using only 2% of our intellect with all that lowfat milk. Then one day you buy whole milk and if you’re not smart enough to back off you blow up like a circus balloon. Phoooom! The cows win. That’s their plan.

Got Milk? You die.

wolverine-got-milkThey’re a pretty trick bunch. They’ve even got an advertising campaign in which you see movie stars and other celebrities posing with a glass of milk and asking, “Got Milk?”

But it seems like you never see some of those stars after they’ve done their Got Milk? ads.

That’s because they’ve exploded into nothing from accidentally drinking Whole Milk.

From bright star into dark matter they go. Or else they mutate like this guy into dangerous anti-everything types who fight for the cause of cows, not human beings. So the cows win either way.

The science behind the cow plot

It’s a fact. We’re all a bunch of carbon and bacteria pretending to be animate objects that run and ride happily through life until the right chemical reaction comes along and then Phooom! we’re gone. That’s right: Phoom! Today, tomorrow and yesterday suddenly mix into one.

The cows are just hurrying the process along.

It’s a rather remarkable plan they’ve had cooking for years. So don’t say I did not warn you. Cows may chew their cud like they’re old, dumb farmers but there’s really no such thing as a dumb farmer. They just act that way sometimes so you’ll leave them the hell alone.

Same with cows. And it’s a plot, I tell you. A plot to take over the Whole world. And all it takes is a little fatty milk.

Phooom!

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A better bike fitting is a worthwhile investment

By Christopher Cudworth

Stripped down and ready for reconstruction. The Felt Red Rocket.

Stripped down and ready for reconstruction. The Felt Red Rocket.

Sometimes the threads of destiny are thin and tenuous. Other times they appear in the signature of an email.

Such was the case when the announcement for a local group ride showed up in my Inbox. At the bottom of the email appeared the words: Karrie Ozyuk. Certified Master BG FIT Technician.

Renewed association

I’d met Karrie several years ago when she ran a different bike shop closer to my home. Her new shop in Crystal Lake, Illinois is called Lucky Brake, and the group ride from there was a little too far away to attend.

But the bike fitting part of her communication intrigued me. I remembered from talking with Karrie a few years ago that she had an eye for detail and an obvious respect for cyclists of all types. So I called her up and scheduled a bike fitting.

Intros

When I rolled my Felt 4C into the shop she asked, “How’d you hear about me again?”

“Your email signature,” I laughed. “Sometimes it’s the little things that count. Good marketing.”

Karrie Ozyuk (right) and a store associate form part of the team that serves customers at Lucky Brake in Crystal Lake, Illinois

Karrie Ozyuk (right) and a store associate form part of the team that serves customers at Lucky Brake in Crystal Lake, Illinois

She spent time interviewing me about riding habits and any problems on the bike. Then she put me through a happy little battery of tests to test for physical flaws. I knew she would tell me I’m a little crooked due to a longer leg. The pedorthist Shelley Simmering with whom I consulted on orthotics told me the same thing.

Crooked realities

Karrie identified that longer leg and then her mind went to work figuring out how that was going to affect my position on the bike. It only makes sense that when you have a longer leg your pedaling and position on the seat is going to be affected.

And that’s exactly why I went for a bike fitting. You can’t figure these things out on your own. I can’t, anyway. One should much prefer the objective eye of a trained bike fitter for the plain reason that you can’t effectively measure your own physical flaws. It’s that simple.

Promises made and kept

I’d quizzed Karrie on what was involved in the fitting and this is what she wrote in the email:

Body Geometry Fitting is $175

Expect to spend 1-3 hours 

We will go through a pre fit assessment, get you on the bike and align you properly to your bike. We may try saddles, stems, bars etc… Also, we may add footbeds (cycling orthodic) if needed. You will leave in a neutral riding position.

Willing student

Getting a bike fitting is really a personal endeavor. It involves a degree of personal taste but you must also “buy in” and be ready to change what you’ve been doing, or why make the investment at all? I decided going into the bike fitting that I would be both a willing student and make whatever changes were recommended. After all, what good does it do to hire an expert and then fight their advice? That’s too common a tale that leads to failed expectations.

Investment

A new seat somehow found it's way into the formula. My call.

A new seat somehow found it’s way into the formula. My call.

It’s true: Bike fitting is an investment. The process requires you to spend some money in exchange for a potentially better riding experience. That was my first priority.

For the last 8 years I have not moved the seat post position from the day the bike was set up for me when it was purchased. Only recently had I pushed the seat back an inch upon realizing how scrunched up I felt while riding. For a long time my riding position hurt the shoulders, sometimes the hands. My back suffered on really long rides, especially during high winds. All that should have told me a change was needed. Ultimately it did.

My bike position was dictating poor biomechanical efficiency. That is what needed to be changed.

Brake in the action

Visible in the distance, the new seat post.

Visible in the distance, the new seat post.

There was just one problem that cropped up during the bike fitting process. Karrie had done all her physical measurements and had me up on the saddle pedaling away and stopping for measurements when it came time to consider adjusting the seat height. Only it would not budge. For 8 long years the carbon fiber seat post on my Felt had stayed in one position and was now fused together with the metal gripping it at the frame head. Both of us tried pushing and turning to see if the seat post would loosen. No luck. Karrie sighed and told me she’d need to get her other mechanics working on it. So the first bike session was a case of Fittus Interruptus. No go on a Wednesday. Come back on Friday.

So I collected the signed Vanderkitten Cycling Club pictures Karrie gave to me as a consolation prize for not finishing the fitting that night. Then I drove the 30 miles home to Batavia and waited a couple days for the call that would let me know if the seat post was fixable or f*****.

Turned out it was f******.

“I’m sorry,” Karrie told me over the phone. “We tried everything. But in the end that post was too stuck to save.”

Mr. Postman

That meant we installed a new white Specialized seat post with Zertz inserts. Then on a whim I picked out a new white saddle to boot. My original saddle that came with the bike had originally been exchanged for a Specialized saddle with a split up the middle. That saved the “unit” from going numb.  That saddle still worked, but it turned out my appetite for a new feel with the bike included a new saddle, and a new look. A little narcissism is part of the bike scene after all.

“I’m the best bar taper you’ve ever seen…”

We also exchanged my original handlebars and installed a new 10 degree stem in place of the 24 degree stem I’d installed way back in 2007. Karrie smiled at the new black bar and said, “I’m the best bar taper you’ve ever seen.”

I thought she’d just said, “I’m the best bartender you’ve ever seen.” So I smiled nicely and then laughed, realizing my mistake as she pulled out the white bar tape.

Overdue at the bike shop

I had a different body back when I bought the bike. That was 20,000 miles ago. I didn’t really know at the time how to position myself on the bike, or to keep up the core exercises to ride right.

Bike Fit Geometry reaches both the rider and the bike.

Bike Fit Geometry reaches both the rider and the bike.

So it was time for the change. All I could think about of late is how many rides there have been where it felt like my form was literally giving away energy up hills and into the wind, much keeping pace during criteriums.

And while I’ve aged 8 years from time when I first started riding seriously, my overall leg strength and endurance has compensated and improved in many ways. Better form on the bike was still the missing component.

A better way to go

The Body Geometry Fit system made a ton of sense. It was the clinical touch that convinced me, and the objectivity.

For example, Karrie used a mat that showed the outline and height of the arches in my feet. She also checked the degree of flexibility or range of motion in my foot, which was admittedly not good. We ended up adding some varus tilt and some shims in the forefoot to put that part of my body in better alignment. That felt much better than the dress orthotics I’ve been shoving in my shoes for 8 years.

According to the Specialized website, the BG Fit Process includes:

  •  the Pre-Fit interview
  •  the flexibility assignment to get an accurate picture of the “geometry” of the body
    Another curious customer stops by to ask about the bike fit process. His "prescription" cost $60 for a casual bike.

    Another curious customer stops by to ask about the bike fit process. His “prescription” cost $60 for a casual bike.

    including spinal curve, foot structure, knee position and other factors

  • viewing the rider from the side to plumb and measure angles
  • a front view to watch the motion of the rider’s knees and legs as well as upper body position
  • The Prescription.

Actually, I made that last one up myself. Because that is what’s really taking place. When you’re done with your bike fitting it’s rather like getting a prescription. When I took the bike out for a ride it felt completely different. Really, it was a marked improvement.

Results

My first couple rides have resulted in a little twinge in my calf but that’s to be expected. There’s a lot of new angles at work. I didn’t ride 4 mph faster or anything crazy like that. But it sure felt better. The speed will come with increased training and pace from being more comfortable on the bike.

Like the serious cyclists say, if you want to ride better, then ride more. 

Fruitful and fun

Emblematic of the many bikes assembled and sold,  the store's rubber band ball was years in the making. Fun!

Emblematic of the many bikes assembled and sold, the store’s rubber band ball was years in the making. Fun!

It was fruitful, and it was also fun getting a bike fitting with Karrie Ozyuk. It so happens she has a great personality for the job. She asks lots of questions. Studies the issues at hand, sometimes literally. The certificates on the wall from Specialized make you feel a bit like you’re at the doctor’s office. In a manner of speaking, you are. A Dr. of Bike Fit, she is.

I’d budgeted for the process and knew I wanted a new saddle at least. The seat post was a surprise and cost a little, as did the new handlebars. Some might have said “You should have just bought a whole new bike” but that was never my intention. That Felt and I  have been through a lot together. The carbon frame is still good, survivor of a difficult crash last fall. The components are decent. The Dura-Ace derailleur still shifts like butter. So we’re sticking together, the Felt and I.

Karrie asked at one point if it was okay if she referred to the Felt in the female gender. I told her I wasn’t in the habit of that, but it was fine by me. Then I realized, she’d probably seen something in me that I had not. A bit of devotion.

In other words, my bike fitting turned out to be about Bike Love, not Bike Lust. Karrie Ozyuk played yenta by setting me up for years of more riding with the Red Rocket. That’s what the bike was called when it was named Bike of the Year by a cycling magazine back in 2006.

Closing ceremonies

Appropriately, we shared a Fat Tire beer when all was said and done. Then I shook her hand and wheeled my happy new bike out the front door into the light of the setting sun.

It has sat in the garage ever since.

Ha ha, just kidding. The bike rides great and is worth every penny of the bike fitting.

The way I look at it, I’d rather invest in better form than lose it all on an uphill.

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Thoughts that run through your mind on Memorial Day

By Christopher Cudworth

Memorial Day is really about who is here, who is not, and what we think about that.

Memorial Day is really about who is here, who is not, and what we think about that.

Yesterday when I arrived at my father’s house to check on his caregiving needs, he pulled me over to his dining room table to show a drawing he’d just done. My father is a stroke victim going back more than a decade. He’s done pretty well given the partial paralysis of his right side, and not being able to talk. Despite these obstacles he’s taught himself to write and draw with his left hand, and that has helped with our communications over the years.

He showed me a picture that I knew immediately to be him. It bore the date September 1945 and had a drawing of a series of vehicles in a line. Each of these, it turned out, were forms of transportation he got while hitchhiking from the coast up to Yosemite while on leave from the Navy.

You could hitchhike back then and expect to get rides. Today’s hitchhikers seem to have disappeared from most urban and suburban areas. We don’t even see them on rural roads any more. One must suppose the creepy killer movie industry has killed hitchhiking.

But a sailor on leave in 1945 could go just about anywhere, you’d expect, because military was everywhere in those days. If I recall correctly my father arrived back on base a bit late and had to sneak around the MPs to get back safely to his barracks.

My father’s tour of duty included a stint sailing across the Pacific in a crappy boat with lots of leaks and a giant trough for a latrine. My father told me about the piss sloshing about and the occasional turd escaping the system to land on deck. The crew spent a lot of time cleaning up after their own ship. Once they made the trip to Japan for some sort of excursion the Navy scuttled the ship to the bottom of the ocean. It was no longer needed, so it was discarded.

Dad toured Nagasaki and Hiroshima. His black and white photos show cities flattened by the bombs that effectively ended war in the Pacific.

That’s about the extent of what I know about my father’s military service. His stroke silenced his recollections at the time in life when he might be interested in sharing them.

I like military stories, but not because I ever served. My age group fell into the gap between military conscription (the draft) and voluntary / required registration. So the military never touched me in any meaningful way.

A military lifestyle

Still, the training done for cross country and track was a difficult trek through discipline, suffering and sacrifice. I guess I did it for myself. I was never good enough as a runner to represent my country. Though I tried to be national class, the best I could do was compete in the Prairie State Games, an Illinois competition with an Olympics-like structure.

Some might say a good friend could have saved me all that trouble. Truly, by the time you’ve graduated from college running you should know just about how good you really are. Yet I did get better and learned quite a bit about myself from running as hard and long as I could.

That’s a bit different from being conscripted into service at the age of 18, subjected to 6 weeks of boot camp and shipped off carrying a rucksack to some – country where you shoot people. Of course you’re going to remember those experiences. Of course you are making a sacrifice for your country. Time is valuable.

Reminders

Life is valuable. Which is why Memorial Day exists. It reminds us that people who either chose the military or were forced to sign up and gave their lives for the nation deserve to be recognized and remembered for that commitment to duty.

We can question politicians and question wars. We can question religion’s role in those wars, and whether we as a society go to war for legitimate or selfish reasons.

We can question how we treat our soldiers, both men and women, when they return home from war.

We can question all this and still be truly patriotic. Because our questions also force us to remember that not all war is just. Some wars are fought for reasons that the general public will never know. How those politicians sleep at night we will also never know. Because someone’s loved one is not here with them on Memorial Day. Children grow up without fathers or mothers because war is hell. And hell knows, or respects, no bounds.

What might have been, and what is

I don’t feel unpatriotic because I never served in the military. I might have made a great soldier. Lord knows I had enough anger within to make me want to kill people at some point in life. But working through that anger meant emerging as a different kind of warrior, one who respects life in a significant way, but not in some falsely patriotic bluster that says everything the military does is right.

The torture of people in Iraq. The whole messy ordeal going on now in Afghanistan. The massive blunders of Viet Nam. The lives destroyed by PTSD, by shrapnel and limbs torn off. All that mixes together when one thinks of Memorial Day, these days.

And that’s as it should be. I know that I run free because of the sacrifice of others. I know those wars despite their ugly flaws in purpose and passion probably needed to be fought. One could argue that nations cannot really exist without war. It defines resources and borders, ideology and hope. We are animals, so we fight. Even the Bible can’t change that, nor the claim that God favors one race or people over another.

Memorial Day is all about remembering the animal within us, and the struggle for survival, as a person, and as a people. Death is ignominious in so many ways. We consider it disgrace and yet utilize it for advancement of our national interests. That’s why Memorial Day is so necessary. Our survivor’s guilt needs some form of expression. We wave the flag and cook meat on a grill. Drink beer and turn on a car race or a basketball game. We go for a run or a ride and try to make sense of the reasons why we are alive. Then we remember, in some vague or painful way, that we’re here because someone else isn’t.

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Standing up for MAMILs and MISRS

By Christopher Cudworth

Some people think a Middle Aged Men In Lycra (MAMIL) is a terminal joke.

Some people think a Middle Aged Men In Lycra (MAMIL) is a terminal joke.

The Internet has been great for proliferation of acronyms, particularly cynical names for targets of lust and disgust. The term MILF comes to mind, which stands for Mother I’d Like to F***, in case you didn’t know. It originated with porn sites that require shorthand to communicate the entire spectrum of lusts and disgusts. The term MILF is both a compliment and an insult to certain women. Of course that is how just about everything in the porn world works. The primarily male propensity to “own” the imagery that grabs their attention so fiercely takes a perversely cynical view toward the women they adore or abhor.

Seemingly witty acronyms do abound in the web world, so it wasn’t too surprising to find that a new acronym has been coined to describe Middle Aged Men In Lycra, MAMIL for short.

MAMIL off the charts

Let’s pause for a moment and consider the source of the acronym. The reason the term exists is that cycling has attracted people of all ages to the sport. Riding bikes can be fun. Riding bikes can be healthy for you, much better exercise than four hours on a golf course eating hot dogs at the turnaround and downing beers the entire round as you ride a motorized cart.

By comparison

Lots of middle aged men play golf, especially middle-aged white men. They costumes they wear on the golf course have blessedly improved over the years. Fewer golfers show up in outrageously loud plaid paints. Instead, the Tiger Woods of the world have introduced some degree of athletic class to golf wear.

And yet, the general shape of men on the golf course is not all that impressive. The middle-aged man who has let himself get fat around the middle with a bulging stomach that obscures his belt (and below) has a serious challenge on his hands. It is hard to lose that weight. Worse yet, belly fat is known to kill you.

So some middle aged men have taken up exercise to lose their fat and change their eating and drinking habits.

Riding a road bike is an excellent alternative to standing around on the golf course drinking beer. So the middle-aged man who puts on a cycling outfit and rides a bike 3-4 hours with some buddies is doing something genuine to improve his life and even prolong it.

Fat and lycra

But let’s face it. Some middle aged men have a tough time losing the body fat they accrued sitting behind desks eating donuts. For a while as they ride to get in shape they might not be svelte. Their stomachs still bulge and their butts and thighs struggle to fit inside cycling shorts.

But goddamnit, they’re trying. I’ve ridden with plenty of middle-aged men carrying a few extra pounds and I’ll be damned if some of them are not fast on the bike and determined to improve their pace and their lives.

Yet some people find MAMIL just a step above MAMIS (Middle Aged Men In Speedos). But it’s not exactly the same. The Speedo guy really may be clueless that he does not belong in that swatch of spandex. Or perhaps not. Some guys just let it ride, so to speak. But if MAMIS is at the pool doing laps to get in shape, then it’s your job to turn your head if you don’t like what you see.

Same goes for MAMILs who stop by the coffee shop to refuel after a 50 mile bike ride. If you don’t like looking at MAMILs for whatever sick little reason enters your head, it’s your problem, not the men who ride bikes to better themselves.

Modern parables

If women who dress provocatively don’t deserve to get raped, men who wear Lycra or Spandex don’t deserve to be ridiculed. It’s not a fashion choice anyway. You literally can’t ride 50 miles in flapping, loose clothing and expect to have a good experience. Lycra shorts and shirts were invented for one thing: aerodynamic efficiency. It makes a big-ass difference out on the open road. And if you really do happen to have a big ass that blocks the wind, that’s one thing. But a big ass draped in flapping clothing just creates more drag.

That means it’s time for you to shut the hell up and quit the sniggering if you think middle aged men in Lycra are pathetic or funny. What’s really pathetic and not so funny is ignorance toward the legitimate pursuit of better health and a longer life.

MAMILs have it right, and have the right, to dress however they please. Just ride away from the acronym, boys and gals. Wandering eyes do not need to define you. Don’t let them acronym you to death.

MAMISRSs

The same goes for Middle Aged Men in Short Running Shorts. It’s become taboo for middle aged men to run with shorts that don’t cover their knees. It’s ridiculous. Who wants to run in a freakin’ dress that blows around in the wind?

I blame the whole stupid oversized shorts thing started with Michael Jordan, who by all reports is an inveterate skirt chaser with little respect for the rest of the human race, and particularly women. Yet his fashion choices and proclivity for longer shorts turned the entire fitness enterprise into a skin-shy society with an oddly conservative bent. Talk about your cognitive dissonance.

The influence continues to this day. As far as this runner is concerned, the Devil Doesn’t Wear Prada. The Devil tells us we’re all supposed to dress like Desert Sheiks when we go out for a run or ride. It’s stupid. It’s dynsfunctional. And I refuse to play by those stupid rules.

Call me what you will. MAMIL. MAMISS. Don’t care. I hope your eyes pop out of your head when you see me. I’m fit and proud like to wear loud colors now and then. So deal with it, even at the coffee shop.

MAMILs, stand up for yourself. There no reason to be shy. Let them undress you with their eyes. Or not.

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Life is just a shade better when you run and ride

By Christopher Cudworth

photo (7)Against every promise to myself upon buying a new set of sunglasses, I took them with me on errands and sure enough, let the beautifully designed shades fall to the ground where they received a scratch right where all sunglasses are doomed to be scratched: Directly in front of the eye.

Crazy Eye

A scratch on your good sunglasses can make you crazy. This is especially true when you go out to run and ride. The scratch may be constantly in your field of vision, like a floater in your eye. If you have both floaters in your eyes and scratches on your sunglasses, as I do, you can go double crazy.

The floaters can’t really be fixed without genuine risk to your vision. But you can take a crack at fixing scratches on your sunglasses.

Redemption

I took the commercial route and went back to the store where I got the new sunglasses. My humble hope was to buy a set of gray replacement lenses. The new sunglasses already came with clear and amber lenses. Figured it might cost me $20 for a set of gray lenses and at least I’d be back to square one.

However the minute I stepped in the cycling store it was apparent there was a Big Sale going on. And there, sitting in neat stacks were Scattante sunglasses for only $9. Normally priced at $29.99, the single-lens Scattante shades looked like a really great deal.

What happened next was the closest to calculus I’ll ever get. I did the math and figured that for just under $30, I could replace my scratched gray Scattante lenses on the original new pair of shades for just about the price I was willing to pay for a replacement set of gray lenses. So I went nuts. Picked out a pair of white frames. Then simple gray frames. Then a set of bright green frames with blue tinted lenses. Just for summer days.

What a score!

Just a shade better

Life was suddenly just a shade better than it was before I walked into the bike store. And really, that’s about all you can ask for.

See, the difficult part for me is that I don’t want to spend $200 on Oakley frames. But I don’t like cheap sunglasses either. They hurt your head. The plastic is all foggy and warped. So finding a place somewhere between Too Cheap and Too Expensive with shades is important.

Of course there are many fans of cheap sunglasses. That ZZ Top song has some lyrics that are pretty tempting to those who run and ride:

When you wake up in the morning and the light is hurt your head
The first thing you do when you get up out of bed
Is hit that streets a-runnin’ and try to beat the masses
And go get yourself some cheap sunglasses
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

The can have the truly cheap sunglasses. I prefer a great deal on decent sunglasses. And I walked out of the store feeling like God Himself had given me a pass on my priuor sunglasses stupidity. On the way back to work a Modest Mouse song came on satellite radio that expressed how I felt about the whole situation.

Float On by Modest Mouse.

I backed my car into a cop car the other day
Well he just drove off sometimes life’s OK
I ran my mouth off a bit too much oh what did I say
Well you just laughed it off it was all OK

And we’ll all float on OK
And we’ll all float on OK
And we’ll all float on OK
And we’ll all float on any way well

Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam
It was worth it just to learn from sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don’t you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on exactly the same day
Well we’ll float on good news is on the way

Sometimes all it takes to make life a shade better is a day when bad shit doesn’t happen. You somehow luck out with events that seem born of cosmic forgiveness.  Finding a deal that makes your sunglasses stupidity and broken promises to yourself seem not so bad is one of those forgiving moments.

But there are other ways to make the world better that are not so acquisitive.

And for me, every run and ride is an opportunity find that bridge from Shit Day to It’s Okay. We all need that instrument of sanity when the rest of life can drive you crazy.

Float On. Ride On. Run On. It all works.

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Love donuts? Run and ride away from them.

By Christopher Cudworth

America may run on Dunkin. But if you run or ride, it's best to avoid the temptation.

America may run on Dunkin. But if you run or ride, it’s best to avoid the temptation.

Donuts. Doughnuts.

However you spell it, the word translates to one thing: fat.

Fat donuts. Homer Simpson donuts. Donuts that slow you down and flood your bloodstream with grease and sugar.

Here’s a little wordplay to help you resist the donuts at your workplace, like those that showed up at our office today.

Donut Truths

Donuts good? Donuts bad.

Donut happy? You’ll be sad.

Run from donuts. Ride away.

You don’t need those cals today.

Look at donut, it grins back.

Then you get a heart attack.

Sugar coated. Creamy filled.

Donuts are a pudge fulfilled.

You eat donuts. You get round.

Gravity will hold you down.

Donut dreams? They fill the day.

Walk on by the donut tray.

Donuts are the sum of fears

as they add to your arrears.

All the donuts you can eat

will not give you happy feet,

you just might go fast downhill

but going up will take more will. 

homer_with_doughnut

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How much is a pound of fat

I’ve always wanted to know this. So I’m going to print this out and put it on the refrigerator. Very helpful to know for those of us who run and ride. Wow. See you on the road!

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The logistics of running and riding

By Christopher Cudworth

Logistics is the management of the flow of resources between the point of origin and the point of consumption in order to meet some requirements, for example, of customers or corporations.

The logistics of running and riding can be confusing.

The logistics of running and riding can be confusing.

Perhaps you haven’t noticed, but one of the biggest growth areas in American business, and likely the world over, is the development and maintenance of sophisticated logistics. Business is all about efficiency these days, because it freakin’ saves money. Money is why business exists. So if you save money on your “flow of resources” between Point A and Point B (and every point thereafter) you can actually make more money.

Logistics puts a measurement on everything and develops tracking systems to manage not only the measurement but the timing of every step along the way.

You can start to see where this is going if you run and ride. Those of us engaged in the sports of running and cycling spend a lot of time getting from Point A to Point B. If you can cut down your time in any way, you get faster.

So what are the logistics of running and riding?

It all starts at your “point of origin.” That can be your house, the gym, a hotel in a strange city or a trailhead where you start your cycling.

In business we think of logistics as a way to get stuff moved around, tracking inventory and planning delivery dates.

In running and riding, logistics is getting ourselves moved around.

That means having the necessary equipment ready to go when you need it. That’s generally much easier for runners, but not always. Some long runs require, in the minds of some runners, water bottles on hip belts, or water set up at strategic points along the way. Some running groups organize these logistical tasks in advance, setting up jugs of water or sports nutrition drinks along a prescribed route. This is a highly effective way to reduce the logistical hassles of a long run. Any run over 10 miles is a good candidate for this approach, but some groups even set up water for 10K training runs.

Immediately I recall the day our college coach brought out a giant jug from his trunk at 10 miles of a Sunday morning 20-miler. As the first few teammates took sips, they spit out the warm lemonade filling their cups. “Warm lemonade? Coach, what are you trying to do to us?”

“Ah, boysz,” he said in his Norwegian accent. “Drink up!”

We didn’t. Most of us judged it was better to run the next 10 miles without that warm lemonade sloshing around in our guts.

So logistics are important. That’s what most runners consider the sign of a well-organized race. Were the water stations well positioned? Were the cups easy to use? Were the mile markers clearly designated and could you hear your splits?

Preparing for a marathon or longer races requires intense logistical knowledge. You need to figure out when to drink, but also to be flexible in your preparations in case conditions get too hot. Wearing the right shoes and breaking them in beforehand can be key to prevent blisters. Marathoning is part sweat and part logistics. Ultra-marathoning, even more.

Logistics. It’s the stuff of PRs and efficient training.

For cyclists, logistics are a bit more complex. Essentially your whole bike is a logistical tool. You put your drink bottles in the bottom tube cages. You set up your cyclometer or smartphone to track your pace and mileage. Then there’s energy bars, CO2 bottles for your tires in case of a flat, extra tubes, tire bars and bike wrench. Some cyclists carry those logistical goods in a combination of their back shirt pockets and a pouch under the seat. You’ll even see some riders with short pumps sticking up from the back of their kit pockets while others would not dare carry their pumps there for fear of a crash and a punctured spine. To each their own when it comes to logistics.

What matters most is how well your system works when something goes wrong on the bike. Flats are the most frequent logistical problem. A well-prepared cyclist can often change a flat quite quickly. A true pro in about 2 minutes or less. Those are some serious logistical skills however. More frequently it takes a journeyman cyclist 5-10 minutes to change a flat.

At the start of an organized ride last year one of our female companions showed up at the race with her triathlon bike. The ride was a hilly affair, and she’d have been better off with her road bike. To make matters worse, her front tire flatted 3 times in the first four miles. We kept changing tires and even the expert in our group grew frustrated by the fact that her bike was wrong and the wheel a mess. She ultimately pedaled back to the start on a half-flat and we moved on. 20 miles later I crashed from bike wobble. Were the two events related? Who knows? You’ve got to know your bike no matter how fast or slow you ride. Transportation is part of logistics. You need to know your machines as well as your mind.

Food is another logistical matter. Some cyclists try to carry it all with them. Others make pit stops on rides of 50 miles or longer.

Fluids are paramount. Running out of water on a hot day can put you in serious trouble.

But so can drinking too much.

Logistics.

We wish it was all so simple. Yet two of the most elemental sports on the planet do require preparation. The logistics of running and riding well demand it.

Anything else just isn’t logical. Or safe. Or smart. Or fast.

Logistics. You gotta love it.

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