Category Archives: fear

50 Years of Running: Competition’s Son, Part 2

The town of Seneca Falls, New York, is well-known as the cinematic source for the town of Bedford Falls as depicted in the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Even at the age of 60+ years old, I can well recall … Continue reading

Posted in Christopher Cudworth, competition, Depression, fear, foregiveness, life and death, love, mental health, mental illness, running | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

50 Years of Running: The Rain King gets no satisfaction

On March 20, 1984, the vernal equinox arrived with typically chilly March weather. But like a maple tree with its sap starting to run, I was eager to start using the fitness I’d built over the winter. After the freezing … Continue reading

Posted in Christopher Cudworth, college, competition, fear, God, love, mental health, mental illness, sex, training | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

50 Years of Running: The cold heart of a Chicago winter

Our landlord was a cheap bastard when it came to heating our building. At times, the inside temps sank to fifty degrees indoors. I’d struggle to keep painting or writing under those conditions. We complained, but it was no use. … Continue reading

Posted in fear, God, life and death, love, mental health, nature, race pace, running, sex | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

50 Years of Running: Unlimited

As the fall racing season wore down in 1983, I managed to race twice in November, a 32:08 10K on the 6th and a 32:26 10K in the Vertel’s Turkey Trot on November 20. The splits in that race indicated … Continue reading

Posted in cross country, fear, mental health, PEAK EXPERIENCES, race pace, racing peak, running, running shoes, training, training for a marathon | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

50 Years of Running: Jacked around

Having moved everything I owned east to Philly the previous August, now I was faced with hauling everything back to Chicago the following May. Through a few quick conversations with a close friend living on the north side of the … Continue reading

Posted in 400 meter intervals, 400 workouts, addiction, Christopher Cudworth, cross country, death, fear, gay marriage, life and death, love, mental illness, race pace, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

50 Years of Running: The homely hayseed and love

Finding out from a key player and trusted friend on the management side that the marketing department where I worked in Philadelphia was not fulfilling expectations didn’t surprise me. There were great people on the team, who were doing some … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, Christopher Cudworth, competition, Depression, fear, foregiveness, gay marriage, life and death, love, mental health, nature | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

50 Years of Running: Marching on

By March 6, 1983, the weather in southeastern Pennsylvania was beginning to moderate. I ran a sixteen-miler in 1:43 on a route that I now knew well enough to do with confidence. No more getting lost in horse country. I … Continue reading

Posted in blood on the highway, Christopher Cudworth, competition, death, fear, mental health, mental illness, race pace, racing peak, running, running shoes, sex, we run and ride | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

50 Years of Running: The winter of my discontent

When the temperature hit -26 degrees on January 10 of 1982, I’d already been inside for two or three days, and was getting cabin fever. Even girlfriend company didn’t help. I was stir crazy and needed to get out for … Continue reading

Posted in competition, cross country, fear, God, mental health, mental illness, nature, running | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

50 Years of Running: What a fool believes

Somehow I managed to squeeze in a race back home in Illinois amid all the new obligations with the admissions job. The race raised funds for my high school cross country program, and I ran a solid 25:40 five-mile after … Continue reading

Posted in fear, foregiveness, love, mental health, race pace, running | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

50 Years of Running: First, a flight. Then I woke up dead.

Following a successful conference meet, our team earned a trip to Nationals out in Boston, Massachusetts. We’d swept the top five spots at the IIAC race and our coach Kent Finanger followed through on getting us an entry to the … Continue reading

Posted in addiction, alcohol, anxiety, Christopher Cudworth, college, competition, death, Depression, fear, life and death, mental health, mental illness, running, sex | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment