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Category Archives: fear
50 Years of Running: Eighth-grade realities
Despite my love of laughter and being considered funny if I could make that happen, my anxious nature also meant grappling with a conflicted mind. I loved making friends but worried about what they thought of me. I worked hard … Continue reading
Posted in aging, aging is not for the weak of heart, anxiety, Christopher Cudworth, competition, cross country, fear, healthy aging, healthy senior, life and death, love, mental health, nature, running, running shoes, trail running
Tagged 50 years of running, assholes, assholes by aaron james, bitches, book about assholes, eighth-grade wisdom, philosophy
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50 Years of Running and the will to win at any cost
When we lose at something it can feel like a small death. But when we accept losing because it is part of life or even embrace losing as a means to move beyond our present circumstance, that is smiling back at death. It’s hard to admit, but that’s a lesson most of us have to learn time and again. It certainly was the case with my distance running career, where a win one week was no guarantee of a win the next. As the saying goes, you’re only as good as your last victory.
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50 Years of Running: Competition’s Son, Part 2
The town of Seneca Falls, New York, is well-known as the cinematic source for the town of Bedford Falls as depicted in the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Even at the age of 60+ years old, I can well recall … Continue reading
50 Years of Running: The Rain King gets no satisfaction
On March 20, 1984, the vernal equinox arrived with typically chilly March weather. But like a maple tree with its sap starting to run, I was eager to start using the fitness I’d built over the winter. After the freezing … Continue reading
Posted in Christopher Cudworth, college, competition, fear, God, love, mental health, mental illness, sex, training
Tagged counting crows the rain king, half marathon, no satisfaction, run, runner, running, saul bellow henderson the rain king, Shamrock Shuffle, the rain king, vernal equinox, when I think of heaven deliver me
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50 Years of Running: The cold heart of a Chicago winter
Our landlord was a cheap bastard when it came to heating our building. At times, the inside temps sank to fifty degrees indoors. I’d struggle to keep painting or writing under those conditions. We complained, but it was no use. … Continue reading
50 Years of Running: Unlimited
As the fall racing season wore down in 1983, I managed to race twice in November, a 32:08 10K on the 6th and a 32:26 10K in the Vertel’s Turkey Trot on November 20. The splits in that race indicated … Continue reading
Posted in cross country, fear, mental health, PEAK EXPERIENCES, race pace, racing peak, running, running shoes, training, training for a marathon
Tagged Christopher Cudworth, just do it campaign, nike sponsored athlete, racing team, road racing, runner, running on the roads, Running unlimited, Sign me up
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50 Years of Running: Jacked around
Having moved everything I owned east to Philly the previous August, now I was faced with hauling everything back to Chicago the following May. Through a few quick conversations with a close friend living on the north side of the … Continue reading
Posted in 400 meter intervals, 400 workouts, addiction, Christopher Cudworth, cross country, death, fear, gay marriage, life and death, love, mental illness, race pace, Uncategorized
Tagged afghanistan occupation and war, bush doctrine of pre-emptive war, dick cheney and george w bush, invasion of iraq, newt gingrich, president ronald reagan, reaganomics and trumpism, religion and politics, ronald reagan an reaganomics, trump insurrections, trumpism, who shot JFK, who shot MLK, who shot rfk
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50 Years of Running: The homely hayseed and love
Finding out from a key player and trusted friend on the management side that the marketing department where I worked in Philadelphia was not fulfilling expectations didn’t surprise me. There were great people on the team, who were doing some … Continue reading
Posted in anxiety, Christopher Cudworth, competition, Depression, fear, foregiveness, gay marriage, life and death, love, mental health, nature
Tagged adhd, calling someone a hayseed, discipline, haggard runner, hayseed, patience and boredom, runner, telling someone they're homely, training, work discipline
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50 Years of Running: Marching on
By March 6, 1983, the weather in southeastern Pennsylvania was beginning to moderate. I ran a sixteen-miler in 1:43 on a route that I now knew well enough to do with confidence. No more getting lost in horse country. I … Continue reading
Posted in blood on the highway, Christopher Cudworth, competition, death, fear, mental health, mental illness, race pace, racing peak, running, running shoes, sex, we run and ride
Tagged car crash, collision, collision course, collision insurance, insurance fraud, Pennsylvania vehicle registration, whiplash
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50 Years of Running: The winter of my discontent
When the temperature hit -26 degrees on January 10 of 1982, I’d already been inside for two or three days, and was getting cabin fever. Even girlfriend company didn’t help. I was stir crazy and needed to get out for … Continue reading
Posted in competition, cross country, fear, God, mental health, mental illness, nature, running
Tagged bald eagle, cabin fever, college girlfriend, Depression, ex girlfriend, fit of depression, Girlfriend, hope, inspiration, luther girl, subzero temperatures, wind chills, winter of my discontent
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