So tell me, how do I fix what’s wrong with me? Part 1

By Christopher Cudworth

Last Thursday I asked readers of this blog to tell me what vexes them in a piece titled “So tell me, what’s wrong with you.” If you’d like to submit your issue to We Run and Ride after reading this post, please do. We’ll crowdsource some replies and see if we can help.

My first three respondents are receiving a poster (as promised) that I designed…once I get their addresses.

Similar Issues

What we’d like to do from here is to “crowdsource” responses to each of their problems. Some of you may have had similar issues. Others may actually be physicians or others with experience dealing with the problems they express.

Like the Car Talk Guys

Behind the wheelI’m going to provide some baseline perspective on each issue. Mine is not a professional opinion other than my experience as a runner of 40 years and a cyclist for about a decade. I’ve also illustrated and helped edit a book on running biomechanics and worked in a running shop for a couple years. Our goal here is to provide a little consensus on the issue described and perhaps give our fellow reader enough information to re-approach their problem and perhaps find a cure. In the meantime, you can view my feedback much like Click and Clack on Car Talk. All advice is suspect until proven ridiculous. But if if works, who’s to complain?

Brenda Beason, an MBA who works in Real Estate for Weichart Hometown First in Florida. She responded through LinkedIn:

Brenda says:  I’m training for my first marathon and I trained up to 19 miles and got an injury to what I think is my IT Band and an MRI done only to find out I have a medial meniscus tear and in the posterior horn as well. No marathon for me. This IT band has been 2 months of agony ? Put a cortisone shot in there; however, at times it still hurts. Running aggravates it. I have been biking a little not wanting to over do anything but trying to get my physical fitness maintained. Just feeling frustrated. Biking is not the same if you are a runner but it’s something. I’m afraid the IT band issue will be chronic. I am wondering if there is a correlation between the tear and the IT band because it’s in the same leg.

We Run and Ride answers:

Brenda: It sounds like there are a few things going on at once. First, the injury sounds like it had time to build, so it likely wasn’t the result of a tear resulting from a ballistic motion as would be the case with a torn ACL. IT Band injuries are generally (and often) the result of a biomechanical problem either farther down the leg or up the side of the leg to hip drawing on muscular imbalances or weaknesses in the supporting tissues or main muscles attached to the IT band. In other words, you’re out of whack.

Opposites do not prove attractive

What you’re dealing with is a tension and weakness issue. Something strong is pulling or torquing your iliotibial (IT) out of optimal position, resulting in the stressed IT band and possibly also the meniscus tear inside your knee.

Those conditions can occur several ways. First, if you increase your mileage quickly the IT band is often forced to deal with fatigued or overstressed muscles. That can lead to stress or tightness from hip to toe. If you also have pronounced pronation in the foot of that leg or even the opposite leg, your body is trying to compensate all the time. The longer you run, the more you stress the outside of your leg. Same holds true for cyclists. If you “grind” early in the season on the big ring before your legs are accustomed to riding hard and long, you can develop serious knee problems. Progress is related to acceptable levels of increased stress. Injuries most often occur when we exceed our body’s capacity for adaptation to stress.

Weaknesses

I deal with weak hip flexors and have taken up yoga to help me strengthen those connective tissues, better align the pelvis and make up for 35 years of running without much stretching. I used to play a lot of sports like basketball and soccer, which greatly helped prevent injuries because it was great training for balance, etc.

Having torn my ACL twice, I can no longer do those sports, which means yoga is a great alternative. You are never in a position where you can’t control your actions. The stress you put on your body is by choice, not circumstance. That would be a great starting point for dealing with your IT band problems.

Meniscus tears

Shaved LegsA tear of the meniscus is a sign of something deeper in the joint that is out of line. Either you jolted your knee at some point causing a tear in the cartilage inside your knee or else it is worn down from constant bio-mechanical stress. Among women, that can occur because the angle of your upper leg from your hip is wider. That can result in an inward rotation of the leg from the hip. Sometimes you see this in gals whose legs flip out from the knee on one side or the other, or both.

If you have never had anyone assess your running form, now is the time. If you have been running a long time, the meniscus tear may be a warning sign that you need to address the biomechanics of your hips, knees and ankles. A good running shop can help you with this, because other than by video, it can’t be diagnosed.

I use a pedorthist, who confirmed I have a leg-length discrepancy. Okay, cut the jokes about the male anatomy for a minute and focus on the issue at hand, so to speak. What a varied leg length might mean is that my body is essentially twisted and tilted from 40,000 miles of running with slightly different length legs.

For anyone this is a problem, and issues like these can grind down the inside of your knee cartilage if you do not diagnose and address them. I suspect your meniscus tear is the result of both a high mileage increase and a bio-mechanical issue. Is may go away temporarily with rest and time, but if you don’t fix the problem it will likely come back, especially at marathon distances.

Rotating your tires

The best analogy is why you rotate your car tires. If you driving them forever in the same position, they develop wear patterns from making the same turns, etc. Rotate your tires and things become more balanced and the tires wear longer.

The human analogy is that you must increase your muscular balance and strength while determining if your bi0-mechanics are disrupting the health of your stride. If they are, you may need to consider orthotics in one or both feet.

Physical therapy is also  a great tool for rehabilitation of chronic injuries. A PT can usually do a few tests and see quite clearly where your problems start.

Dr. Cudworth may not be right

What do other readers think? That’s my take but it may not be right. What would you recommend for Brenda to fix both her IT band problem and torn meniscus? Stretching? Weight work? Surgery?

Please make your comments in the response below or send them to cudworthfix@gmail.com


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Now that would be scary. Running and riding through Halloween.

By Christopher Cudworth

 

The line between reality and fantasy blurs when you're really tired.

The line between reality and fantasy blurs when you’re really tired.

I’m not much for the occult. Don’t believe in ghosts, zombies, goblins or the undead. It all seems fake to me. 

But if I did believe in all that, the world really would be a scary place.

Because let’s face it, those of us who run and ride can wind up in some pretty remote places. And then all kinds of things might happen.

Corn Zombies

On dank October days the mist often forms in the valleys in our county. Even with lights on the front of our bikes it can be hard to see, and be seen. That would be a perfect time for Corn Zombies to emerge from the fields, knock us off our bikes with one fell swipe of a rotting hand, and feast on our bodies. All the authorities would find by the highway would be shredded, bloody kits and the scattered remnants of PowerBars and water bottles emptied of Accelerade. Even Zombies get thirsty you know.

Soul Suckers

Or let’s say you are out running at night and decide to add on a few miles because you’re feeling good. But then about halfway into your extra miles something strange occurs and you begin to feel the energy drain from your body. Spinning around to look behind you, there is a shadowy shape creeping along the fenceline of the suburban neighborhood where you are running. Tired as you are, you try to pick up the pace, but the harder you try, the less your legs seem to cooperate. The shadowy shape suddenly soars over the fence and descends on your body. A Soul Sucker has caught up to you, and as it presses you to the ground you feel the last ounce of breath squeezed from your chest as the Soul Sucker plunges its murky hand in to grab your heart from its bloody, beating spot between the lungs. And that is how the police find you the next morning. Nothing but a black, charred hole where your soul and heart once rested. Not wanting to upset the public, the official Death Notice reads: Ran his heart out. At that news, you become the Poster Child for the local high school cross country team.

Workout Vampires

Triathletes are at special risk when Halloween comes around. Off season training often involves considerable time indoors swimming, running on the treadmill and doing Computrainer workouts in the vain hope to keep that slim summer shape you worked hard to attain. As the days go by, you sense a presence at the gym and then one morning you enter the locker room to come face to face with a Workout Vampire. The androgynous figure stands naked before you, fangs exposed, before sinking its shining teeth into the base of your neck. A hot flash of excitement and adrenaline surges through your body as the Workout Vampire sucks the precious blood from your veins. You can remember feeling like this somewhere around the 16 mile point of the marathon in your last Ironman, so you fight through the feelings of fatigue and exhaustion. But it’s no use. The Workout Vampire has drained every ounce of blood from your body and left you naked and withered on the locker room floor. Still, you want to finish your workout as all triathletes do. So you climb onto the treadmill for another four miles even though you are officially, legally and spiritually dead. But Strava doesn’t register your effort because you don’t give off enough heat to count as a human being.

Yes, Halloween be a scary time for all of us who work out this time of year. And while we don’t all go for the spooky stuff or believe in werewolves, it’s good to be careful out there. Staying in shape is hard enough without fighting the undead and the macabre.

But most of all, watch out for tarsnakes. They don’t care what season it is. And they’re always after you.WeRunandRideLogo

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So tell me, what’s wrong with you?

So tell me, what’s wrong with you?

People who run and ride often get injured.

depositphotos_3461043-Bicycle-chainSome of those injuries turn chronic. Nagging. Difficult to cure.

And you don’t know what to do.

So tell me, what’s wrong with you?

Write in a Word document, 150 words or less, and then copy and post in the comments section below. If it won’t let you do that, send it to cudworthfix@gmail.com.

This is your chance, in 150 words or so, to get it out there.

Perhaps you have a nagging biomechanical flaw that holds your training back.

Write it down and send it in.

Or, your stomach fights you whenever you attempt a fast race.

Perhaps your feet always blister, or your bike shorts rub you the wrong way.

We’re here to listen. And to respond.

Most people don’t want to listen to your problems. But we do. And perhaps we’ll be able to crowdsource a solution. Or two. And wouldn’t that be fun?

Tell us your problem(s). You can keep them confidential if you like.

But let it all out. You can’t bring them up at a cocktail party because people’s eyes glaze over and they make an excuse to get more food. But we’re ready to listen at WeRunandRide.

Tell your friends too. Let’s all play true confessions. Cause it feels good to complain.

At We Run and Ride, we’re here to listen. Get that nagging problem off your chest.

It could be mental. Physical. Medical. Quizzical.

We’ll publish your feedback, anonymously if you choose.. So share your fitness challenges and hear about the challenges faced by others. This should be fun.

It should also be cathartic. And perhaps your problems won’t seem so bad when you share them and hear about the problems faced by others who run and ride and swim.

You just might get answers to what’s wrong with you. The readers of this blog and the discussions it engenders might be the way you get past your worst problems–the tarsnakes of your training and racing– when you run and ride.

I’ll start off the series tomorrow and let you mull it over the weekend. Remember to post your problems to the comments section below or send them to cudworthfix@gmail.com

Let ‘er rip.

So, what’s wrong with you?

The first three chosen respondents will receive a free signed RUNNING poster by Christopher L. Cudworth. 

Retail value $20. Available for purchase. $22.50 with shipping and handling.

Retail value $20. Available for purchase. $22.50 with shipping and handling.

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The tarsnake of a runaway infection

By Christopher Cudworth

photo (1) copy 2Following a 40-mile bike ride on a beautiful fall morning, it was a pleasure to get out in the back yard to do some late summer weeding and cleanup. The garden was cleared of extra weeds by my sister-in-law and daughter. Large piles of plant stalks were gathered in heaps. Others were stuck into buckets filled with rainwater.

For the first 20 minutes I wore gloves to stuff the plants into recycling bags. Then I took the gloves off to answer a call on my cell phone and went back to work. At that moment I felt the familiar prick of a sliver in the middle finger of my left hand. Pulling my hand back reflexively, I noticed the sliver and went inside to yank it out with some tweezers. My hands were wet from the dingy water at the bottom of the weeding bucket. I washed them up and put the gloves back on to go outside to work again.

Red alert

That was a mistake. That spot where the sliver went in never healed up properly. It got red and I could not find the Neosporin right away. Turned out I had put it in the car for a Labor Day camping trip, but forgot about that.

By the time I did put Neosporin and a bandage on the sore finger things were feeling weird in there. A hard spot formed on the seam of the underside of the knuckle. The redness continued. It went on that way for two weeks.

It is interesting in a world where we work so hard to keep fit and be well that we can be neglectful when it really counts. After two weeks the finger started to swell and I regretted not cleaning it better that day. I could ride and run just fine for those two weeks, but was feeling a bit sluggish some days. It was apparent my body was fighting something. The infection probably.

Don’t mess with nature

I’d seen firsthand that you couldn’t take even small infections for granted. Years ago during a camping trip something got under the skin of my forehead and the doctor had to cut an incision and clear it up. Whatever it was, he never told me. Might have been an infection, or a worm for all I knew.

You should not mess with nature. It’s full of all kinds of nasty bugs. If you let them get past your defenses, things can get wicked bad. A nurse that I knew went to Mexico three years ago. Wanting to treat herself to a pedicure on vacation, she went to a local shop and was pleased with the result. But by the time she got home she was so sick that her body went septic and she died. From a pedicure.

Convenient Care

So I wasn’t about to piss around with a finger that was getting worse each day. That called for a visit to Convenient Care at a facility near my office. They x-rayed the finger to see if something was left inside, and then sent me to a hand specialist.

HandThe hand specialist took a look and ranked the problem a “1 or a 2” in terms of problems he’d seen over the years. “But it’s good not to mess around. We’ll put you on antibiotics and see if it helps. If it’s a bacterial infection, that will take care of it. If it’s a fungal infection, we might have to try something else.”

A thorny problem

It turns out that fungal infections often come from rose thorns. Apparently something on those thorns can get into your system and mess you up bad. A friend down the block from my house works as a greens keeper for a country club. He got a thorn in the palm of his hand and it required surgery and heavy meds to clear it up. I saw him while walking the dog the other night and told him about my finger. He flipped his hand over to show me the scar on his upper palm, right where the pain and welling on my hand is most acute.

Painful history

Injuries like this make me think back to other health challenges and injuries during my running and riding career. The answers aren’t always simple and the cures aren’t always quick.

In college the entire team developed Achilles problems after a poorly planned workout on a cambered road. I went to the school nurse who prescribed anti-inflammatories. I wandered around campus in a drugged state for three days before our coach took us up to Mayo Clinic. The doctor took one look at the pills I’d been prescribed and told me. “This is how much they give horses.”

So it’s important to get checked, and get checked again.

Scratches

I’ve got plans to run a 10K and start in mountain biking this fall. But if the hand requires surgery those plans could turn out to be impractical.

I’m no germophobe, but that’s the tarsnake of combatting infectious disease in this world. You have to strike a balance between being too clean, which can lower your natural resistance to germs and other bugs, and assuming you’ll be okay if you just wash it off with water and keep working. In that case, the bugs can and will get you. I’m learning that lesson the hard way.

It might pay to be a little smarter next time with the whole hand-washing thing, and a little medicine. The lesson here is that you don’t want infection to run away with you.

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Is Lance Armstrong really a Jason Bourne in disguise?

Today’s We Run and Ride blog is from my co-blogger Monte Wehrkamp, whose observations via email often fascinate. He’s proven to be right on many fronts over the years, and many times in my experience of knowing him. So when he takes off on a speculative rant I tend to pay attention.

He is as Hunter S. Thompson was, entertaining when discussing politics or sports because the truth in either of those fields is almost always a subjective problem, a puzzle to discern, and sometimes the fiction of our imaginings that is just as real as the hard won knowledge of history, also a subjective matter.

So, here goes. Monte’s compelling observations on the future of the Lance Armstrong story. It begins with a link that illustrates the business connections of Lance Armstrong, which sets a stage, as it were, to understanding that nothing is as simple as it appears on the surface. 

Foundations

This first link is the article Monte discovered that set off his observations.

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/i-team/new-book-claims-crow-sang-feds-armstrong-article-1.1481152

lanceweb10s-5-webAfter you’ve looked at the article about Sheryl Crow busting Lance’s ass, click on the pic of Lance below to view a chart of Lance Armstrong’s business connections. Your mind will be boggled.

And then you’ll be ready to read Monte’s take on the situation, which reminds me a bit of the Jason Bourne Movies in its layers and depth. In fact let’s compare a picture of Bourne to that of Lance Armstrong. There’s a similarity you see…and we may someday find out that Lance is a bit more like Jason Bourne than the lone criminal he’s been made out to be. Is Lance Armstrong a product of something other than his own ambition?

Here’s what Monte thinks. 

Bourne

Armstrong at a Livestrong appearance.

Armstrong at a Livestrong appearance.

The Big Picture

Cookson may indeed create the “new and improved” UCI he promised. A Truth and Reconciliation (T&R) Commission may actually happen, and LA has promised if there is one, and it’s a get-out-of-jail-free, all-for-the-improvement-of-the-sport affair, he’s in. He’ll name names. 

It’ll all come out at once. 

This is where it gets hairball crazy. If you watch the very end of the trailer of the new LA documentary…

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/video-the-armstrong-lie-official-movie-trailer

He implies that the whole story hasn’t been told. Not even close. And if he ever got the chance to purge himself, without fear of more legal reprisal, he’d let us know McQuaid and Verbruggen were in the know, and may have even encouraged him — went as far as provided him assistance to beat the testers. And yeah, that was a bribe. And yeah, he did test positive. But to the UCI, LA was the goose that laid the golden egg for pro cycling.

Pushing carb(ons)

He was also golden when it came to cycling equipment in the U.S. Even more than Greg LeMond, LA sold cycling to America (the biggest sports equipment market in the world). Sold yellow banded/garnished NIKE wearable anythings. And Treks, and by association (like a rising tide lifts all boats) all other brands of bikes in the USA.

Under a T&R, Lance might admit Trek provided and funded the drugs and the mule who made drops all over Europe (the guy in Tyler Hamilton’s book, the one on the motorcycle that followed the Tour — he ended up with his very own Trek dealership. From Lance’s gardener to Trek bike store owner. Wonder how that works.) He might admit that Nike and Oakley aided and abetted as well (far beyond looking away and lying under oath). And possibly that his partners at Tailwind Sports (owners of Lance’s bike teams) and who were also connected closely to USA Cycling, were thick in the conspiracy as well, proving this culture went to the very top of the sport in America.

Point of the spear (and sphere)

Lance was, and is, merely the point of the spear. And the spear was very, very long. Still is.

It was because of all this air cover, all this power behind him, he could tell his lie over and over without fear of being caught. Because of the industry power that could be brought to bear (destroying Kimmage, the Andreu’s, Hamilton, Landis, et al), nobody dared touch him. And those that tried, paid dearly.

Like when LA chased down Simeoni – blowing up his chance at a stage win, because if LA chases, everyone chases, cuz he’s the race leader — then doing the zipped lips and cursing him out in front of the peloton. Simeoni was out the sport less than a year later. Shunned. Rebuked. Blackballed. The whole sport was organized around the Lance lie. And powers that be not only encouraged it, they built it.

Open book

Will there be a T&R, that’s the question.

Cookson may want one. But then again, he doesn’t.

There is already enough sentiment against pro cycling. That the era of LA made it a sham on par with pro wrestling – and even today, may not be much better than it used to be. A T&R would confirm cycling was even worse than ever imagined. In a way, LA, with his limited admission on Oprah, is helping cycling by limiting the damage mainly to himself. Like Christ taking upon himself the sport’s sins (which is a rather clumsy analogy, as LA is far from sinless, but one he’d probably like to believe about himself). If he came clean, admitted all, named names, exposed the depth of cheating and corruption, it may damage cycling even more. Perhaps forever. (And may show the same powerful people who’ve dirtied cycling also have their hands in other sports, like swimming and track and field, exposing even more corruption throughout all of sport.)

People wonder how McQuaid got any UCI federation votes at all. Easy. It’s possible there are certain federations that wanted him to stay to keep a lid on things. To maintain air cover. To minimize exposure. Limit the blame and responsibility to LA.

So…information trickle or deluge?

Does Cookson risk all with a T&R?

There’s a Bournelike quality to it all.

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Watching Chicago Marathon results in a call for keeping the faith

By Christopher Cudworth

photo (7)The Chicago Marathon took place without a hitch on October 12, 2013. There were no reported incidents of terrorist activity. No threats to the crowds lining the start and finish lines. Spectators lined the course six people deep in many places, with crowds cheering wildly. It started with wheelchair racers followed by blind runners sharing the road with guides. Then came elite runners flipping past with featherlite strides. It was beauty in action all around, with helicopters parked above the skyscrapers under crystal clear blue skies. It was perfect weather for a marathon, 53 degrees at the start, and a predicted high in the 60s by the finish.

Suspect behavior

After watching our favorite runner pass by the 3-mile mark, our small group of fans moved west toward the half-marathon point near Union Station. As we took a shortcut up Adams Street a pair of police officers was putting handcuffs on a tall man with a British accent. photo (10)We could hear him explaining to the officers that some sort of conflict that had taken place near the racecourse. Apparently someone had disagreed with his presence in a restricted zone, an argument ensued and the man tried to leave the scene. But the police were taking no chances. Anyone exhibiting any sort of suspect behavior was going to be apprehended and questioned at the Chicago Marathon, especially the wake of the terrorist bombings of the Boston Marathon.

Boston Strong and other causes

The echoes of the Boston Marathon tragedy were profound. There were plenty of runners wearing Boston Strong tee shirts, part of the show of solidarity that the spirit of the Boston Marathon would not be diminished even in the wake of the bombings last April 13, 2013.

The Boston Strong tee-shirt clan was far from alone. Today’s marathons play host to thousands of runners publicizing causes. At times the race itself seems an afterthought, for the marathon has come to symbolize the massive efforts to overcome disease, mental disorders and social ills of every kind. There’s almost no such thing as running the race for the sake of a good old accomplishment. But that’s not entirely true. Despite all the good will, it still comes down to putting one foot in front of the other. If you finish, you still get a medal to hang around your neck.

For all its apparent popularity, the marathon remains a tough event. You might not know from looking at the faces and strides of 45,000 people in the Chicago Marathon, but there is not some magic formula to running that far. You must train for months if you don’t want to blow up at 15, 20 or 25 miles into race. For these reasons the marathon is widely regarded as an allegory for perseverance. It is Greek in origin but almost biblical in proportion as to the test it exerts upon each and every soul who embarks on the journey. The marathon is either a humanistic and religious experience (or both) depending on your worldview. And it’s always changing.

The marathon in context

photo (5)Perhaps what we really need to learn from the marathon we have not yet properly imagined. Not in its full context. Those of us who participate in such races are almost blissfully unaware of all that goes on behind the scenes to make the race happen. We run along slapping hands with the spectators who line the course, and bathe ourselves in their cheers. We welcome the applause and absorb the noise of cowbells and horns as if we were triumphantly entering a city just conquered.

Yet what we learned from the Boston bombings was that the race itself is an artifice. You cannot learn  the true meaning of a marathon if you take it literally like some people do with stories from the Bible. Literalism strips all true meaning from the narratives we depend upon to define ourselves.

The real revelation comes from putting the race in context. Chicago (and New York or any other city…) hosts a marathon every year because it expresses the context of a great city. You pass through the city’s ethnic neighborhoods as if they were travels by the great Ulysses. The exoticism of these neighborhoods heightens the moral truth that struggle is universal.

Cosmopolitan flair and personal identity

Today’s marathon participants are cosmopolitan in every sense of the word.  We see people dressed as Aztec Warriors with tall feathers protruding from their bonnet and applaud their celebration of personal heritage. Meanwhile spectators hoist flags from Poland, Puerto Rico, Guatemala, Venezuela, Canada and Great Britain and runners from those heritages wave and cheer when they see them, and the crowd waves and cheers back

photo (8)It’s all about personal identity,  as all great allegories are. From zen to Christ and all points in between, faithful, agnostic to atheist, the search for meaning and identity is both fulfilling and cataclysmic.

Marathon revelations

Even the Book of Revelation for all its supposed prophetic symbolism is still a commentary on the very personal Armageddon we all face in the struggle of life and its end. The lives we lead are a persistent and continual test to adhere to the laws of our God or our moral foundations, and that goes for people of every background, culture and religion. There is no religion and no society that does not test our ability to abide by a code of morality. The marathon is a symbol of that, and whether you need a God by your side to complete it is a matter of very personal perspective. Yet we keep a faith just the same. A faith of perseverance. Hope. Good will. Inspiration.

Battles

Yet we sometimes mistake the moral marathon of our lives with the literal battle of good and evil and how that is supposed to bring about the end of the world. But truly, in the lack of such a great ending, what happens to the rest of us in the meantime? We run the race of our lives the best we can. The following bible verse from Hebrews 12:1 somewhat directly describes the experience of running a marathon:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…

Beginning of the End

In the end we meet our maker or the lack of one with a very personal admission that we have or have not lived our lives to the best of our abilities.

photo (15)That is why incorporating some good into the reason for running a marathon seems so common these days. It is not considered good form to just run the marathon for yourself any more. That is why whole teams of individuals now sport tee shirts promoting one good cause or another.

We seem to almost automatically accept this premise as part of a new fabric or social foundation that keeps our selfish, narcissistic instincts at bay. You can now devote months of intensive personal training to a marathon and not feel selfish because along with the good feelings we generate by running for a charity we also supposedly acquire life skills that can be transferred to the workplace or politics or faith.

Marathon bombings

When a bomb goes off at a marathon, all those positively selfish aims get put aside for a moment because such a tragic event makes us realize the frailty of our own endeavors and perceptions. A glimpse of Armageddon has come calling. You don’t have to be religious to comprehend photo (4)what it all means. Our individual lives are all we will ever have in this material existence. The singular nature of this prophecy is outlined in the Prologue of Revelation, Chapter 1:3: “Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.”

The time is near. The time is always near. Never do we know that more clearly than when tragedy strikes that which is near and dearest to us. That tragedy might be cancer in someone we love. So we sport a tee shirt that says “Cancer Sucks” and run 26.2 very public miles to prove that we understand that lesson. We run for a cure. Or so we tell ourselves.

Yet some of us run 26.2 miles dribbling a pair of basketballs in an absurd act that patently illustrates a potentially absurd event. Both are symbols of a sort. But if we dismiss the symbolism entirely by taking everything we see too literally, what do we have left? Really, the world become patently meaningless without creativity, symbolism and an appreciation for both the expressive relief and the vitality of the absurd. Be aware but also accept that not everything in life means something. Sometimes dribbling a basketball 26.2 miles is just that. A commentary that means nothing.

Choice words

We have choices to make. We can interpret our own acts literally and lose their meaning, and we can do the same with the prophecies of books like Revelation and use them to predictively condemn the world in order to appear righteous enough that we can suppose we know the will of God.

Or, we can focus on the significance of prophecy as a message for each of our individual souls and how to live our lives fully while we’re here.

No turning back? 

photo (13)Religious industries have been built around apocalyptic interpretations of Revelation and the Bible as a whole. But the apocalyptic culture appears to have its purpose and focus all wrong.

Apocalyptic obsession is a religious psychopathy concerned more with the End Times than with making the most of our real time. It is also vindictive in its hopes for a payback against anyone judged to be against its authority.

Facing our limitations

So what does this all have to do with the marathon? To bring it full circle, we can consider the merits of personal revelation and how a marathon helps us understand both the unlimited potential of our being and the humanistic limitations of our material lives.

That seems like a contradiction until we get shocked into reality by events like the Boston Marathon bombings or the terrorist attacks of 9/11. We see our fellow human beings placed in circumstances far beyond imagination of the potential horrors that face us every day.

The marathon helps us comprehend the concept that our time is always near. We put ourselves out there to feel alive and also to see how long we can last until we feel like we’re dying, literally and figuratively. That is the tarsnake of the marathon.

No boom

photo (3)It is all an illusion of sorts, but an important illusion. I was reminded of that fact while commuting back out to the suburbs after a day of spectating at the Chicago marathon. While driving west on I-88 our vehicle pulled up next to a white truck emblazoned with the words EXPLOSIVE DETECTION K-9 TEAM.

The protectors of society know how great the illusion really is. We talk about heightened security at the Chicago Marathon and barely know the meaning of the planning that goes into it. Yet we don’t want to live in a “police state,” as they say. So we try to have it both ways. “Protect us,” we like to say. “But don’t show us that we need protection.”

The supposed revelations of gun nuts

The gun nuts want to arm everyone and their mother to ward off evil. Ironically, they also seem to hang with the type of people who believe in a literal Armageddon where Christ himself comes back to kick ass and take names. We confuse our legends too easily with our practical truths. Should we give guns to everyone in the marathon in case people in the crowd start shooting? You can see the illogic in their supposed logic.

photo (12)Where truth really lies

The truth about safety and security is somewhere in between. We are not all naïve joggers, nor are we the Cat in the Hat who likes chaos and fails to appreciate the logistics of the marathon or its significance as a symbol of social cooperation and merits as an expression of the vitality of a city, its people and the visitors who come to run its streets.

We are one great community, yes. But we are also singularly alone as we run our respective races, for the time is near. The time is always near. We just don’t know when it will come, or how long it might take.

But we keep on running and we keep on cheering for those who do. That is otherwise known as keeping the faith, wherever it leads.

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Can hugs and kisses make you a better runner and rider?

Kiss and Hugs Training schedule

A kiss is but a kiss. But it can help you win. Make you ready for competition or combine with a hug as part of good training.

A kiss is but a kiss. But it can help you win. Make you ready for competition or combine with a hug as part of good training.

Hugging and kissing have tons of benefits for people who run and ride. Research shows hugs are good for health across a number of fronts, and kisses improve everything from the health of your teeth to the muscles of your face.

With these benefits in mind, what follows is a suggested training schedule of Kisses and Hugs to support your marathon, half marathon, cycling or triathlon training goals.

Beneficial effects of hugs and kisses

When you incorporate Kisses and Hugs into your training program these training techniques have beneficial effects in terms of workout recovery, mental attitude and general happiness in the weeks leading up to and including the night before the race. And while sex is great if in a training routine as well, it is important to remember that affectionate hugs and kisses should not always be perceived as leading to sex. Hugs and kisses build trust, self esteem and enthusiasm for life. With that in mind, here is a suggested “training” schedule for hugs and kisses in advance of your next marathon, half marathon, triathlon or cycling event.

Sunday:

Hugs: Engage in pre-or-post morning activity involving some neck-nuzzling and perhaps a short kiss on the lips (see next item).

Kisses: After your morning coffee, apply at least one caffeine induced kiss. If you have a long workout scheduled Sunday morning, be sure to squeeze in at least one hug and a kiss either before or during the run or ride. It works wonders.

Monday:

Hugs should be applied after work and after workout. Be sure to embrace fully if time allows.

Kisses: A short kiss in the parking lot at the train station is acceptable. No tongue. It’s Monday, you horny little angel.

Tuesday:

Hugs should be administered post-swim if possible. This may necessitate a stop by the home of your Hugs and Kisses trainer on your way home from the pool.

Kisses: To save time, Tuesday Post-Swim kisses can be applied at the same time as Post Swim Hugs.

Wednesday:

Evening hugs shall be received on the couch after dinner. Be sure to snuggle and possibly doze off a little.

Kisses: Have at it. Kisses are even good for your teeth, can lead to weight loss and even prevent the common cold!

Thursday:

Hugs: This is a taper day in advance of possible hard hug workout on Friday. Be gentle and even take a day off if your schedule is too busy.

Kisses: A little slip of the tongue is acceptable on Thursdays. Involve wine if necessary.

Friday:

Hugs: Today’s hug regimen can and should be applied with limited clothing involved.

Kisses: Uh-oh. Slow down. Yes that was a nice dinner. The wine was really great. Cheese too.

This is a speed workout but don’t forget the rest intervals either. Mmmm-hmmmm.

Saturday

Hugs: Okay, last night was great. Don’t hurt yourself now. Hugs count double mileage today.

Kisses: Should be affectionate, relaxed.

There you have it. This Hugs and Kisses training program is proven to prevent injuries, undue stress leading up to competition and better self esteem and confidence leading up to major half marathon, marathon, cycling or triathlon events.

In all seriousness: hugging and kissing the people you love is a great gift that should be treasured and valued in your relationships. It really can help you have a better life when you run and ride.

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There is a saying by Virginia Satir, a respected family therapist, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.”

Sources: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-5756/10-Reasons-Why-We-Need-at-Least-8-Hugs-a-Day.html

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Is food enough to motivate you through pain and suffering?

By Christopher Cudworth

The Pumpkin Pie ride anticipated our cravings. We're not always that lucky.

The Pumpkin Pie ride anticipated our cravings. We’re not always that lucky.

Having recently finished the Pumpkin Pie ride in Ottawa, Illinois it occurs to me the absurdity of riding 63 miles for the “right” to eat some pumpkin pies is a little silly. But we do it for that very reason. Silliness and food sort of go together in the worlds of those who run and ride.

Marathon du Medoc

Some of our cravings are calculated, like our ride for pumpkin pie. There are a whole spectrum of food-oriented runs where the rewards are chili and chocolate cake and beer and pizza.

There’s a marathon in France called the Marathon du Medoc that describes itself this way, “Few marathons are in a class of their own. Le Marathon des Chateaux du Medoc on September 7, 2013 is one. Routed through 59 vineyards in the fabled villages of the Medoc region, this event appeals to the true connoisseur of fine runs. Where else do they ask you at the aid stations, “red or white Madame?” Thankfully there is plain water if you so choose.” Watch a video.

Impromptu food cravings

Sure, it would be great to travel to France next September and see if you can handle running a marathon tanked on wine. But the real test of spirit(s) is when you’ve gone out for a long run or ride on a weekend only to find you’re about a pint short on water and a PowerBar short on food.

Then you have to limp or bonk your way home, somehow managing to make it to your own, precious front door.

What do you crave then? 

At the end of one 12-miler in which the cold air and wind combined to suck the energy out of my very soul, it was cheese that I craved when I walked in the door. Heading straight to the refrigerator, I could almost taste the sharp cheese that awaited my palate. A knife was unnecessary. I opened the wrapper, took several hungry bites and felt the minerals or calcium or whatever it was in that cheese that I needed go straight to my system. Like a drug.

Chocolate has elicited the same craving in me during a long ride. You pedal those last 20 miles quietly promising yourself that when you’ve finished and managed some small talk and put the bike away, you will drive straight to 7-11 or some other venue and buy the richest chocolate you can find. Preferably dark and thick, if you please.

Or maybe you need meat, or is chocolate milk your After? Pickles? Nachos? Beer? Cravings are almost unlimited and indiscriminate.

Cravings are weird

True cravings for food while you’re working out are probably chemically based. Wikipedia’s half-assed explanation at least partly satisfies our craving for understanding about food cravings. “A food craving is an intense desire to consume a specific food, stronger than simply normal hunger.[1] According to Marcia Levin Pelchat “It may be the way in which foods are consumed (e.g. alternating access and restriction) rather than their sensory properties that leads to an addictive eating pattern.”

There’s a hint in there about the psychology of food cravings in those who run and ride. It would appear that the act of deprivation is a strong motivator behind food cravings. Which means your desire for a particular food may be felt in direct proportion to the distance you still have to cover.

It’s all well and good if you take food with you, of course. Today’s distance runners look more like pack mules than athletes. The belts around their waists and water carriers slung to their backs carry enough nutritional fortification to last an astronaut a week in space.

So food cravings may seem a little Old School, but not really. It’s one of the principal laws of the universe that we will always crave what we cannot have. You could strap and entire grocery store to your back for a run or a ride and still you’ll want the one item your portable store does not have. You can guarantee it.

Perhaps you’ve had an experience with cravings that has turned out rather interesting. So tell us, runners and riders: To what cravings have you succumbed over the years?  Hit reply and share you story with more than 500 other people who run and ride and subscribe to this blog.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Cycling pirates

By Christopher Cudworth 

A merry band of pirate (not bandit) cyclists gather at a rest stop port on the Pumpkin Pie Ride in Ottawa, Illinois.

A merry band of pirate (not bandit) cyclists gather at a rest stop port on the Pumpkin Pie Ride in Ottawa, Illinois.

All cyclists are pirates, of a sort, riding by one Code or another. Some are road cyclists where the Code dictates sharing the burden on the pulls into the wind. Others are triathlete pirates where it’s every man or woman for themselves on those twitchy ships we call “tri-bikes.”

Drafting is against the rules in triathlon. Thus the tales or riding in the wind are not just legendary among triathletes, they are legion. “Can you imagine what the winds on Kona must be like,” one IronWoman says as we pull through 20 miles of headwind on a ride down by Ottawa, Illinois.  I look over at her. She’s a good rider. Slung low on her Cannondale Slice tri-bike she cuts through the wind without complaint. Triathletes can be big complainers as a matter of jest, but when the going gets tough they generally shut up, put their heads down and ride because there’s a job to do. For better or worse.

They’re quite used to training without benefit of a group or an audience and that’s especially true for those who do the half Ironman and Ironman distances. You simply can’t train all those miles and expect someone else to be there with you all the time. Sometimes that has a cost, or perhaps it’s the other way around in which the cost produces the effort.

Open Seas

In that way the triathlon is rather like an allegory for marriage. It’s made up of so many moving parts; stages, transitions and the race as a whole is a test of will. Yet the goal is to keep it together and make it work in the long haul. That’s not always easy.

Which is probably why a fair amount of people who discover the sport of triathlon also seem to find a new current running through their lives with a force much like the pull of the Gulf Stream beckoning them on.  If the pull becomes sufficient they really do become a pirate of a sort because life begins to be seen through something like a different code of existence.

It all reminds me of a song by Rickie Lee Jones, called Pirates:

Joey live on the edge of the corner

Of living on the run

I like to ride in the middle
I’m just tryin to have some fun
Until the pirates come
And take me

It happens. Pirates just try to have fun but life has a way or pushing back in ways that makes the wind feel that much better.

Open Roads

That is why it is so nice to get out on the open road where the shit that happens like a flat tire or a long pull into the wind with a band of fellow pirates can feel a lot better than the shit we all deal with in a lifetime.

We’ve come together for a 63-mile ride in the swells of north-central Illinois for a change of pace. Triathlon season is over for the lot of our riders, and criterium season for me, although I raced just once all year, riding off the front at the start like a pirate maniac, doing two laps at full sail for 26 mph and pulled over.

photo (2)

Open Minds

I know exactly why I did that. For quite some time I’d been marooned an an island not out of choice but of necessity. A pirate’s mind gets a little restless with nothing but the passing clouds for company. The manic pace was the product of a mind that had spent too much time talking to itself. But at least I had not started to answer too. I sailed through that madness to get to the other side, and a newly opened mind.

Open Mouths

As we pull over to rest at the 42 mile point of the 63 mile Pumpkin Pie ride, there is no question the October wind is going to be a fierce companion on the way home. The final run will take us 21 miles straight into the teeth of a southern gale. So the crew takes a vote: If we’re going to work that hard, we might as well take a rest on the harbor of a rest stop and eat. There are pulled pork sandwiches to ingest, and cookies, potato soup and hot chocolate.

Yet if Heaven is pigging out on free food during a cool autumn ride, Hell is knowing you are probably actually gaining weight as you go. Sure enough, my scale on Monday morning shows a 3-pound gain. But that’s the reality of the Open Seas: even a good ship takes on water now and then.

Open Season

I can’t feel too bad about a little potential weight gain because the captains of many bikes on the Pumpkin Pie Ride are definitely too big for the raft and too slow for a draft. Yet you develop an admiration for anyone who sets out on open water when the winds are high. There’s simply no sense or good faith in judging others lest the Great Judge of All render your own fate. Even the best pirate had better remain humble, for we ply a fearsome trade out in the wind.

Open Air

It really does take a bit of courage and work to live outside the laws of smooth sailing. Our bikes are sharp and expensive like small ships that only we can steer. So we band together and follow the currents of our lives until they steer us elsewhere. As we talk about those ocean paths, a new Code kicks in. What gets shared at sea stays at sea.

And I won’t need a pilot
Got a pirate who might sail
Somewhere I heard far away
You answer me
So I’m holding on
To your rainbow sleeves

You've got to love what you do, even if it's being a pirate.

You’ve got to love what you do, even if it’s being a pirate.

We love what we do, for better or worse. For richer or poorer. In sickness and in health. We learn there is more than one kind of vow in this world, a Pirate’s Code. We swear allegiances forged on conversations in which souls are bared. When we change shirts the others stare at the marks of 50 lashes and wonder, “How did they survive that?”

But we do. Even in the present the wind is known to shred the sails of hope and so we learn to pull in the canvas at times of great risk. But we patch them up and pedal on.

Well, goodbye boys,
Oh my buddy boys,
Oh my sad-eyed sinatras
It’s a cold globe around the sea
You keep the shirt that I bought ya
And I know you’ll get the chance to make it
And nothin’s gonna stop you
You just reach right out and take it
You say – so long, lonely avenue
So long lonely avenue

Just rewards. The Golden Pie.

Just rewards. The Golden Pie.

When it’s over and the girls have changed from funky bike shorts to cute shorts and skirts, shedding clothing between cars where fearless pirate girls change clothes without fear of showing lady parts, it all feels right and whole, being a pirate. So it is again a merry band walking up the street toward the pumpkin pie that is our promised reward, a slice of life, and pirate food in a home port.

I’ll see you there
Wait ’n see
Be lookin’ for me
Just like you
Just like me

We haven’t solved all the world’s problems or even all of our own this fine October morn. But we have sailed together and seen the rolling sea that we have navigated on intimate terms to discover yet another facet of ourselves with an outlaw joke or two thrown in for good measure. Pirates love a good laugh along with strong grog, hearty fare and a tailwind on the speeding loop back into harbor. But above all, pirates love other pirates. Ahoy, me mateys.

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When it comes to running and riding, everyone is gay

A couple tweaks upon publication. Let me know what you think!

Christopher Cudworth's avatarWe Run and Ride

What else should I be? All apologies
What else could I say? Everyone is gay
What else should I write? I don’t have the right
What else should I be? All apologies

–Nirvana, Kurt Cobain, “All Apologies”

A longtime friend recently responded to a blog I wrote about sentiment on the website RedRoom.com that she has been feeling increasingly sentimental about certain things in life. She’s always been one to try to appreciate friendships and has a deep respect for love and hope.

She dated a lot of younger men for the fun of it after her divorce. Now she’s in a second marriage that has lasted years with a man she labels “gorgeous.” I like how she says that word. Gorgeous. She really means it.

She also happens to still love her first husband and they remain close as friends. Life is what you make it, but life is…

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