Was it self indulgent for the race of fish known as mud skippers to emerge from the mud and walk on land? Not at all. Some self-indulgence leads to great things.
Whether you run or ride as your principal form of exercise or add swimming to do triathlons, the time involved to engage in training and racing can be considerable. If truth be told, there is a streak of selfishness that needs to run through our efforts, because without that, you cannot prioritize or be motivated to put in the miles or hours it takes to get fit, hone your racing skills and achieve your goals.
First timers beware
First time marathoners learn the hard way there is no shortcut to running. The sport is entirely about distance covered and the time it takes to cover it.
It is also common for cyclists to put in rides of 3-5 hours in a single training effort. In fact it takes that much to build the necessary base for any type of ride you target for racing or completion.
In either scenario, that means considerable time must be spent on the bike or on lonely trails unless your significant other shares your hobby. But even then, the selfishness factor can enter the picture. Sooner or later people who need you to do other things for them can question the amount of time you devote to training.
The tarsnake of selfishness
A tarsnake, as we know, can be both a good and bad thing.
Managing the selfishness factor takes both a bit of dreaming and a bit of cold-eyed pragmatism. If you don’t set goals your training can feel vacuous, unfocused and unsatisfying over the long run. That’s where the real selfishness trap lies. The tarsnake of training is that selfishness can drag you into a rut.
It is an athletic irony that not having some sort of focus for your training can also result in a manic sort of selfishness as you seek some sort of gratification from every training effort. Suddenly you’re running or riding hard every day, not letting your training show any peaks and valleys. You might even start racing people in training, not wanting to give an inch. Grudges might form as you project your brand of running grief on everyone else. If all this happens you have arrived at the most selfish form of training their is. It is self with recourse.
Share and share alike
It happens because most people who set up goals tend to share those goals with others. If you are shooting for a 4:00 marathon there are plenty of people who are likely shooting for the same goal. You can train with them knowing you are moving toward your goal. If you’re shooting for a 2:20 marathon you most likely have a coach and a team to keep you from getting too self-absorbed.
Alone again, unnaturally
Training the same way all of the time can make anyone feel like shit about themselves.
But if you have no races on your calendar and no events to absorb your focus, you can fall into the trap of turning every training effort into some sort of an event.
The “bitter” training partner is the one everyone tries to avoid. If you’re out there bitching about the pace or complaining about what you have to do when you finish, people would rather not run or ride with you. So don’t be that guy or gal.
The wise Englishman
That is not to say there are no happily adjusted people out there training for no particular purpose at all. For months I rode in a group ride with a quiet English fellow who was always “right there” when the group moved at any pace. His riding form was impeccable. He was both strong and fast. His was an approach of gratitude and absorption in the effort. He even laughed at the sometimes manic attempts of some riders to beat up the group with this surge or that. One had to admire his healthy perspective. He was a dedicated rider without need for ego, or selfishness.
Our personalities drive us
A certain amount of selfishness is expected in the high-strung, goal-oriented, Type-A personality athlete. Why fuss with the idea that people can remove their personalities from their pursuits. The lovable idea that people get obsessed and stay obsessed is the heart of sports. We rather like our nutty characters with running addictions and former addictions cured by running, or riding, or whatever it takes to get through life.
Awareness counts
Understanding your real purpose in running and riding can help you take flight.
The practical truth behind this blog is that you should simply be aware of why and how you’re training so that you understand how to manage your training toward a healthy and ultimately positive end. Selfishness on its own is not the disease. Selfishness with no aim, or no cure, is what we need to monitor. In ourselves, and our friends.
A friend once told me, “You know, self-indulgence is not the way to self-fulfillment.”
It hurt to hear him say that. At the time, I was not working full time but spent my days in double workouts and doing a few hours a week in a retail running store. It was what I felt I needed to do at the time. Perhaps it was a self-indulgent period. I was in some emotional pain from a sudden job loss that uprooted my whole life after having moved to Philadelphia. So I channeled the anger into running. So what? Sometimes self-indulgence is a bit inevitable. Versus self-fulfillment, at which we generally need to work to achieve…
Dichotomy?
The ying and yang of self indulgence is its sometimes contradictory nature.
It is genuinely hard to distinguish between the two at times. There may in fact be times in your career or life when self-indulgence is required to succeed. Just be sure to communicate that to those around you, those who care, and those who depend on you. “I’m going to do this (triathlon/marathon/half-marathon/century)” is a statement that declares to those who care that you’re going to focus on an event. Then be prepared for some pullback when it’s through. That’s human nature. Be a big enough person to get what gratification you can from your Big Event and let that be your self-fulfillment for a while. But to transpose all your desired accomplishments over the needs of all others in your life, well, that’s self-indulgent.
Know the difference, and be happy as you run and ride.
We Run and Ride 