Time to get up

Posted on May 4, 2016 by Christopher Cudworth

As little kids, we often depend on our parents to wake us up in the morning. I recall my mother coming to the top of the stairs to call out in her cheery voice, “Time to get up!”

But sooner or later we have to take over those responsibilities for ourselves. We have all kinds of gadgets now to help us. Phones and the like. Unless you forget to set the alarm, there’s no way you should be late anywhere.

Those of us who train for endurance sports often depend on those alarms to get up in time for workouts. My fiance is a notable early riser. Lately, I’ve not been so good about it. I’m working through a series of obligations having to do with family stuff and work. It takes mental energy and I’m giving it that. So I sleep in until 7:00 a.m. most mornings.

Admit it. That’s sleeping in for most of us. Staying in bed until 8:00 is simply not an option for most of the world. But for endurance athletes, who often rise at 4:30 to go swim or hit the treadmill or bike trainer in the dead of winter, even 7:00 a.m. sounds like a luxury. Even on weekends we get up at seemingly insane hours. Long runs. Big rides. Open water swims in cold, choppy water. What are you, nuts?

Add in work obligations and squeezing in workouts can be tough. You need a routine that is predictable and replicable to get you out the door to the car or the train for that morning commute.

Old Radio.jpgThis morning I woke up and glanced over to see a radio alarm clock that has sat on my bedstand for more than thirty years.That old clock/radio was given as a wedding present back in 1985. It has a radio and a cassette player in it. Both still work. Even the digital (whooo!) numbers indicating the time still work.

Note that’s it’s not even set to the appropriate time of day. When the power goes out, as it did recently, the clock needs to be reset. It was given as a wedding present back in 1985. It has a radio and a cassette player in it. Both still work. You can set the alarm several ways. It can wake you up with a long loud tone or with music. And for many years, that’s how the thing did its duty.

I ultimately converted to my Timex watch as a tool to wake up in the morning. In the last 20 years, I’ve been through many of Timex watches. I’d replace the batteries but the screws are so tiny on the back of the watch they are just about impossible to replace on your own. Jewelers just laugh at you when you bring those Timex watches into the store. “It’s a $25 watch,” they chuckle. “Go get a new one.”

Such is the world of ultimate obsolescence. I think through all the things discarded or lost in my life and it seems like one long trail of squander and misuse. Some things lost I truly regret. Somehow I misplaced a Patagonia rain jacket I’d purchased this winter on a sale rack. It was a really good deal. But it was left behind somewhere. Again, I have that habit too. One of my Eddie Bauer coats hung in the church narthex for five years until I remembered that I’d left it there. There it still hung. Untouched.

Much of this happens by accident. We can lose prized objects so quickly. One minute you own them and the next minute you’ve dropped them or left them at the coffee house. I left an iPhone charger cord at Starbucks the other day. It has my initials on it, and my phone number. But no one called. People now assume the world is disposable and dispensable. Finders Keepers, remember? When was the last time you actually got something back from a Lost and Found?

It’s true that we lose many material things. Yet we can also lose things far more precious. Our health is what comes to mind. Our relationships too. Our loved ones. Our work. Our faith. Our hope. None of these is typically so disposable, or obsolete. It’s one of the tarsnakes of existence that the things we most value in life are often so intangible.

It’s a warning, in a sense, not to let your days become disposable as well. Morning is a precious time. Getting up every day is a gift. Don’t take it for granted. If you’re lucky enough to be able to run, ride and swim, enjoy it. Don’t beat yourself up if you fail in some way. Give yourself a pat on the back for getting up and doing it. It’s so easy to let it slide. You deserve encouragement.

Use that little phrase if you need it, to motivate yourself. “Time to get up!”

Somehow it still seems to work.

TRAIN HARD. COMPETE WELL.

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Endurance and a military life

Posted on May 3, 2016 by Christopher Cudworth

Unknown US Soldier.jpgIn one of those quirks of personal history, I never registered for the Armed Services. There was never a notice sent to my home requiring registration, so I never did it. I don’t think many of my immediate peers did either. None of my friends ever mentioned getting registered for the military or even being notified about it.

Perhaps there was a window when it wasn’t required. Yet I mentioned that to a friend that did serve in the armed forces and he was quick to tell me that was not true. “Oh, we all had to register,” he told me.

It wasn’t strict avoidance on my part. All I knew about the military when I turned 18 was what I’d heard from the recent conclusion of the Vietnam War. That did not sound like a good gig to me. My older brothers never got drafted for service. I was always grateful for that. The Vietnam War was not really good for anyone. Not for the people who served in it. Nor the nation that chased communist-supported forces all over the jungles and rice patties.

Since that time America has engaged in several more wars. I clearly recall the 1991 Gulf War, and how several colleagues from the newspaper where I worked went off to serve in the invasion. One worked as a refueling pilot flying jets over the Middle East.

Military man

I’ve often wondered how I’d have done as a military man. Certainly I had my share of problems with acceptance of authority over the years. But most of that was distrust of authority that was falsely assumed. I loved the relationship between coach and athlete. I trusted my coaches to a flaw. Certainly that would have translated into a motivated sense of duty and devotion to commanders. There was certainly enough anger within me to be channeled toward an enemy.

The discipline of military life would have been no problem either. All those mornings rising at 5:30 a.m. for training runs were an exciting part of my life. I’ve never minded working hard, going to bed early and setting out to achieve a goal. All good traits for a soldier.

Enduring qualities

Endurance sports naturally draw upon those points of will and dedication. We all find our cause and our goals in life. Many of mine have centered around athletic achievement. It’s a satisfying pursuit to set a goal and make it happen.

The one challenge I might have faced in military service is an absolute dedication to the cause for war. I am deeply suspicious of the motivations of politicians, especially those speaking for God, as if God were in support of any national cause. And if I were sent off to war for ill-defined causes I might have had trouble with the fight.

Bad record

America also has a nasty history in how it has treated its soldiers and veterans once wars are over. From the time of the Revolutionary War until this day and age, the nation has sent people to die for its cause. But when those soldiers come home we have a bad record of taking care of them. Perhaps I’ve written on this before, but it continues to bother me. The idea that someone should put their life on the line and then be ignored or treated badly by our nation is simply unacceptable. Yet the same people who claim respect for our military are often the people voting against funding for veteran’s benefits.

This morning I stopped by a cemetery near my former home in St. Charles. While walking through the graveyard I discovered a set of small stones set at the very back of the property. These were a line of small white stones engraved with the name and company of the men who served in war. These most likely dated from the Civil War. Then there were a set that bore the simple inscription: Unknown US Soldier.

Their remains had never been identified. Yet they were brought “home” to a quiet spot next to a small stream where they have sat untouched for more than 100 years. Unknown Soldiers. Think about that. They fought and died for their country. No one even knew who they were in the end.

Good for everyone?

I’ve entertained the notion that that some sort of military service would be good for every citizen. It might have been good for me. Yet aren’t we all a bit surprised how many of our current politicians got deferrals in their day? Donald Trump, for example, and to some extent, George W. Bush, who got placed in a pilot’s program only to cease showing up at some point. Perhaps he had better things to do?

Then there are obviously aggressive men such as Dick Cheney, who seemed to love sending people to war but somehow got a deferral himself. Meanwhile, men like John Kerry obviously fought in Vietnam but were excoriated for their service by political zealots who Swift Boated the man’s reputation.

Ingratitude

It fits the same pattern of the nation as a while. America loves the notion of fighting, but we tend to show very little gratitude to those who did. It’s the same pattern even with the National Football League, where former players often suffer debilitating side effects from playing the game, including brain injury. Yet the NFL has had trouble admitting this fact. The league for years has behaved with ingratitude toward its former players. Until recently the NFL would not admit that brain injury among its former players was even a problem. it took several suicides by former players due to CTE for the problem to be acknowledged. Up till then, denial ruled the day. How very American.

By contrast, we’re typically shocked when someone dies at a sporting event such as a marathon or triathlon. But with millions of participants each year, the odds are actually pretty high that a traumatic physical event will happen occasionally. There are in fact few rules preventing at-risk people from doing endurance sports. The disclaimers we sign before competitions are not exactly like signing up for the military. We don’t have to disclose much. Even our flat feet get a pass. How telling it is that we’re basically signing our lives away if anything should happen, yet we sign on the line and jump into the fray. How interesting. And perhaps at times, how stupid?

Heroes

StarInstead, we seek heroes among those individuals who overcome even greater personal obstacles than our own to achieve athletic glory. “There but for the grace of God, go I…” the saying goes. Athletes fighting cancer or competing with physical disabilities demonstrate the supposedly wondrous spirit of the human race. But what is it that we’re all truly fighting? Is it our personal war against death that all these events signify?

Well, let’s take a look at that.The triumphal music with crowds cheering on competitors looks very like a military parade. It all resembles the adulation once reserved for military champions; armies marching into Rome, Civil War soldiers returning to their homes.

There’s even that triumphal, dirgelike music from the movie Chariots of Fire. It’s like we’re all being called up to heaven! It’s a plain fact of human history. We love our wars more than just about anything. We love to scare ourselves into motivation and expect others to share in our fears. There you have endurance sports in a nutshell.

Protecting freedoms

It’s often said that our military exists to protect our freedoms and way of life. Even though I’ve never served, I believe in the American military. I admire those who do serve.

I also respect the idea that our military should be used judiciously, not as an extension of some aggressive ideology or lashing out in fear. That exposes our flaws more than it affirms our strengths. In recent years, our military has been asked to fight wars that have no clear mission. We’ve seen scenes from Iraq and Afghanistan where there was no real way to win and no real mission to accomplish. The soldiers there were torn between keeping the peace and whacking all those who threaten them. No wonder so many came home with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. And let’s remember: those efforts in the Middle East are not over.

Protecting the public, from what? 

It’s the same way back at home. Our police are being asked to fight wars on the streets of America. They’re often outgunned in the process. There are military-grade weapons easily available and the police know it. Now guns outnumber people in America. It’s no wonder the police are responding so aggressively to public threats. They’re being asked to fight the same kind of war in America that our soldiers experienced in Iraq.

America is largely ungrateful in both cases. For years, while our soldiers went door-to-door fighting in Iraq, we knew little about their missions or daily life. And when dead bodies were sent home, the Bush administration banned the practice of photographing the coffins as they arrived on American soil. America was a nation in denial, yet 4000 soldiers gave their lives. Tens of thousands more were wounded, often losing limbs or mind in the process. And all along, we are being protected from the folly of our own conflicted policies at home and abroad.

War at home

It’s a fact: More Americans have died from gun violence and suicide than all the soldiers that have ever died on foreign soils. I believe this is the result of a deeply conflicted belief system developed and promoted around an ideology of aggression and fear. It also makes some people a lot of money.

This brand of propaganda drives highly profitable gun sales and leads to a mentality that it is impossible to safely live in America without owning a gun. Last week I heard a representative of a leading gun manufacturer interviewed on AM 560, a conservative radio station here in Chicago. The gun rep proudly outlined his company’s history of supplying military weapons to our armed forces. Then he quickly proclaimed that more than one hundred million guns have been sold in America since President Obama took office. And why? Because the gun lobby has convinced fearful Americans that the President would take away their guns. He said that.

Connect the dots

Do you get the connection here? It is fear that drives this perceived need for such prolific weaponry across the face of America. It’s not going to change anytime soon because it has too long been the fabric of American life. And let’s be clear: it is no coincidence that America’s baseline racism also emerged with aggression and public expression during this time period. Aggression and fear go quite well together with racism, nationalism, and protectionism. All the things that lead America to war also drive war here at home.

So let’s connect the dots. We have a tradition of selfishly abandoning our soldiers once they serve no military purpose. We have also abandoned our citizenry to gun violence of many forms. Every time there is a military-style mass shooting, the NRA waits a few days and then casts blame on something other than the guns for causing the shooting.

But be honest about this trend. It’s the guns now, and it’s always been the guns that cause domestic shootings. These are further driven by selfish priorities of all those promulgating a fear-driven ideology that makes mass shootings actionable in the minds of those disenfranchised with society. That’s how gun crimes have become so possible and relatively common in America. This aligns with the daily deaths vexing cities across America.

So let’s complete the algorithm.

We’re a nation of ingrates living selfishly off the sacrifices of our wounded and dead soldiers while selfishly clinging to a lifestyle that imitates military culture. Yet even the military bans the practice of carrying weapons concealed or otherwise around bases. Gun proponents not only deny this fact, they flaunt it with requests for so-called Open Carry. is nothing more than vigilante rule. This is the definition of insanity.

Cause and effect

It’s this denial of cause and effect that has led to the massive proliferation of guns in society. The cynical maxim that “guns don’t kill people, people kill people” is the product of ingrates whose imagination is stimulated only by the ability to kill at will. It’s all couched in the language of personal defense, but in truth it denies the fact that guns were invented for one thing, and one thing only. That is killing.

There’s an interesting trend among our nation’s politicians that it is often the people who never served in the military that most want to take America to war. They say the only way we can protect our freedoms is by fighting wars overseas. In similar fashion, America has been taken over by a bunch of people who likewise claim that you can only be a true American if you own and carry a gun. The parallels are spooky. But perhaps not surprising.

Inconsistencies

If we truly appreciated the rights of those who wield guns on behalf of national defense, we’d treat our soldiers better, would we not? Yet the very people who vote so proudly to defend gun rights are the same cabal voting against better funding of veteran’s benefits and support for our wounded soldiers. They do this on budgetary grounds as if this were a conservative thing to do. That means the real work of caring for soldiers is being left to non-profits and people with the liberal bent of showing compassion for those who have served.

So if you’re asked to run or ride in a benefit event for an organization such as Wounded Warriors, stop for a moment to consider why it is even necessary. Consider your freedoms as well, and think what it might feel like to run in an event where everyone in the crowd cheering you on has a gun visibly strapped to their hip, or is openly carrying a rifle or a machine gun over their shoulder. Is this the America we want to create?

Is that really what those soldiers fought and died for? Is that really the America in which we all want to live? Do we truly exist in freedom if everyone feels forced to protect themselves because the other guy has a gun?

There’s no running or riding away at that point in time. It would require a grand procession of denial to pretend that’s a better world.

SEEK JUSTICE.

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Between the trees

Posted on May 2, 2016 by Christopher Cudworth

IMG_3120.jpgSue and I attended church on Saturday night. The sermon was about living in the “space between” the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Book of Genesis and the Tree of Life in the Book of Revelation.

The pastor made the point that some people only see the trees and not the space between. In so doing, they fail to make the connection as to what our lives are supposed to mean. There are two keen aspects to which this pertains. First, it is a life more knowing and abundant that is led in keeping with purpose of God. That is, to love others as you are loved. And second, this life in keeping with the purpose of God is actually the fulfillment of the New World that the Book of Revelation predicts will come. It is ours to make.

People expecting Jesus to rush down and set up a whole new regime are therefore missing the entire point of the Bible. It’s as if they are so focused on the Start and Finish lines they fail to realize there is an entire race that each of us has to run, ride or swim.

IMG_3124.jpgEven children comprehend this basic knowledge. As kids, we often raced between two trees as the start and finish line. We need set points to determine our efforts, but they are not the end of all being.

Yesterday our cycling group rode a course from Yorkville, Illinois out to the small town of Newark and back. The course followed a long arc of the Fox River. We cut through some deep woods, a welcome shelter from the wind. The riding was easier between the trees. That sensation was not lost on me given the sermon of the night before.

It’s one thing to race from tree to tree and back, and see that as your entire purpose in life. It’s an entirely different and meaningful thing to consider the difficulties and joys along the way. Being grateful for that shelter in the woods can actually give you the strength of mind to persevere once you are back out in the open.

Flat truths

We also stopped for one ride to fix a flat. I noticed that his back tire had gone soft and we all gathered around him as he used his CO2 cartridge to pump the tire back up. It didn’t take long before we were back on the road working together, taking turns with pulls into the northeast wind. That made the going easier. And a lot more fun.

Certainly that’s a direct allegory that is hard to miss. Trading pulls is something considerate people do in all aspects of life. Teamwork helps us all. At work. In volunteer capacity. Family and friends.

I think about the teamwork support we created during scholastic and college competition and realize how often we helped each other mentally prepare for big races. There was also a starting point and an end goal every year. The season was conducted between these “trees” of hope.

IMG_3731.jpgBut I’ve always thought it foolish to think that Jesus would help you win if you prayed hard and long enough. There’s no reason why Jesus would favor you in any endeavor. The goal that Jesus lays out for those who are Christian is simple: accept grace in victory and also in loss. Take what you learn from the losses to feel compassion and offer help to others. Take what you learn from the victories to encourage those you can. Give yourself fully to all, and you will be amazed at how rich life can be, between the trees.

The Christian faith deservedly gets a bad rap when it ignores these precepts. Instead, it has too often been twisted into torturous vines that bind and constrict believers and the people around them. Biblical literalism turns faith into a vicious tangle of backward beliefs, choking out common sense and progress like the vine that kills a mighty oak.Jesus warned this could happen. He specifically outlined that literalism leads to legalism, and called the proponents of this brand of faith a “brood of vipers” for turning scripture into law.

Clearcut

CLEARCUT-FORESTRY-BCLegalism turns the bible into something resembling a forest clearcut. It turns a beautifully complex forest of parables and metaphors into stumps of stubborn contentions. Jesus warned his own disciples against this brand of thinking. “Are you so dull?” he asked when his disciples demanded to know why he preached using parables rather than speaking “plainly.”

Jesus knew that people needed interesting stories to hold their attention and convey the richness of real wisdom. That’s why his example of teaching through the use of metaphor is so important to the Bible as a whole. It’s how the entire “woods” from Genesis to Revelation is designed. A beautiful woods is evidence of both creation and the call to wander through it with reverence and wonder.

Instead, there is a tendency among some people to hack their way through the Bible as if with a machete. They find their precious hateful nuggets and stand there proclaiming, “Look, the Bible says homosexuality is bad.” Meanwhile, they ignore the passages that indict their own worship of money (the love of which…is the root of all evil.”)

IMG_3260.jpgThat’s how the journey between the trees gets so screwed up, and why (or how) Christianity has gotten such a bad name. Let’s face it, the Catholic Church is the largest Christian organization in the world and has had its share of supposedly “clearcut” moments when scripture has been used to punish, persecute and kill.

Back when Galileo and Copernicus were illuminating the true structure of the universe, the Catholic church took many a bad whack at the idea that the sun was at the center of the universe, and not the earth. Reality did not fit the anthropogenic model of Christian belief.

Then came the Inquisition and finally the protest by a former Catholic priest Martin Luther who railed against turning the church into a bank for God. We’ve been through many centuries of theological debate since. Now we have a Catholic Pope (I’m a Lutheran, by the way) who is back to mostly preaching what Jesus originally taught. The Catholic Herald recent posted a summary that quoted Pope Francis: “If laws do not lead people to Christ then they are obsolete.” Hello, Pope. Thattaboy.

IMG_3989.jpgThat’s a pretty sweeping statement that says it is all our jobs, humanists, and believers alike, to consider the purpose of all our laws. If they are designed only to punish those we mistrust or fear, they have no purpose. Truth be told, many of our laws are contradictory. We punish for possession of marijuana while alcohol is perfectly legal. We encourage the use of Viagra while women’s birth control is a point of contention among prudish legislators.

This is life between the trees, people. It’s our job to see the entire forest and not just chop away at things we don’t like, or want to control (or own) or think we know better.

The journey alive 

Those of us who run and ride and swim know a few things about competition. We prepare ourselves to do our best. And when all is said and done, we must accept our achievements for what they are: attempts at self-understanding. But if we cannot also look to others and appreciate their journeys between the trees, we fail to recognize our real purpose here on earth. It is ours to love others. Even our supposed enemies.

And how exciting it was to look over at a fellow human being and proclaim, “I’ll race you to that tree!” What if it meant even more than that? What if the human race was our entire purpose for being?  And what if a billion races, or seven billion, are occurring every day from which we can draw excitement and meaning? And what if the human race itself is the new world we’re all supposed to see, and understand, appreciate and celebrate?

That is indeed the purpose of our being, between the trees. Yet the race is far, far shorter than we allow ourselves to appreciate. Time is precious. So make sure to look around. The trees are calling you into being.

Take my hand
’cause we’re walking out of here
Right out of here
Is all we need dear
The space between
What’s wrong and right

Is where you’ll find me hiding waiting for you
The space between your heart and mind
Is the space we’ll fill with time
The space between
The tears we cry is the laughter keeps us coming back for more

––Dave Matthews

If you like this writing, please be sure share it. We’re all just trying to make the world a better place. 

SEEK JUSTICE. SHOW RESPECT. GIVE FULLY. LOVE LIFE.

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On hot water and paying dues

Posted on April 29, 2016 by Christopher Cudworth

CudworthEnglertI was not a good enough high school athlete to warrant a scholarship to attend college at a Division I school. Instead, I signed up to run for Division III Luther College in Decorah, Iowa. In four years there I ran an estimated 10,000-12,000 miles in training through multiple seasons of cross country, indoor track and outdoor track.

In cross country season we often did two-a-day workouts in the fall. These typically involved 6-8 mile runs before classes, which started at 8:00 a.m. The afternoon workout would constitute of another 6-10 miles . We did speed on Tuesdays if there were no weekday meets and a brisk fartlek or tempo workout on Thursdays.Our weekly mileage added up to 70-100 miles, much of it run at an insane pace of 6:00 per mile. Then we competed 13 times during cross-country season.

Earning the way

That first year at college (or any year, for that matter) I had little money to pay for school or anything else. My parents were just coming out of some tough financial times, so the $3800 annual room and board was a stretch for us even in 1970s money. That meant I enrolled in a Work-Study program to help pay for college. The jobs paid $1.10 per hour, and I worked in the kitchen.

The worst job in the kitchen was unloading dishes from the automatic dishwasher. It was a huge stainless steel monster with a dark craw from which rows of scalding hot dishes would emerge with relentless pace. The dishes would never cool by the time the conveyor delivered them to your hands. That meant three hours of aching fingertips and throbbing palms. For some reason, they never thought to give us rubber gloves. Which might have helped.

The kitchen was run by a dour woman named Gladys who presided over her troops of college kids with sullen determination. Yes, the place ran on time. Yes, we were all in the work study program together. Yes, we were paying our dues. Literally. One hot dish at a time.

Getting squirrelly

The other interesting gig in the kitchen was working the conveyor where the dishes were deposited when students were finished eating. What a mess. Cups and plates came stuffed or covered with peanut butter that you had to scrape out. It never ended.

One day my buddies from biology class decided to play a prank on me. I’d had to hurry out of class to work the noon dishroom shift and that meant asking them to finish stuffing a fox squirrel during taxidermy lab. That was an interesting world as well, because we’d often boil the skulls and it smelled like chicken in the lab, all the time.

So I was working the front of the dish line when what comes floating through on a plate with garnishes… but the head of the squirrel I’d left behind for them to complete. My buddies had removed the head, stuck a carrot between its teeth and displayed on a plate. The girl next to me swooned and fell away. I laughed and tossed the squirrel head into the big black plastic garbage bag next to the counter. Gladys never saw it.

Kids these days

I share these tales for comparison because paying your dues working in jobs like the college dishroom is getting to be something of a meme thrown at millennials entering the workplace. There seems to be a belief among people over a certain age, perhaps 35, that “kids these days” are unwilling to pay their dues. I’ve read missives on Linkedin from CEOs giving shrill, hard advice to millennials that no one owes them anything and they’d better shape up. Every day on Linkedin there seems to additional commentary about how millennials are spoiled and think everything needs to be delivered to them on a plate.

But if I were a millennial, I’d lop off the head of a squirrel and send it right back to these obnoxious people claiming they already paid their dues and think the youth of today are so spoiled. Crap like that has been going on for two millennia. Here’s a quote from Socrates more than a few years ago:

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

Sound familiar? Yes, it does. It’s the same theme of every generation. People whine for the “good old days” when all kids showed respect. And it’s bullshit. People getting on in years always find excuses for their own selfish aims and fears.

The truth hitting the Baby Boomer generation so hard is this: Kids really don’t care what you think when you’ve hardened your hearts to them, or taken advantage of their time through unpaid internships, or refused to pay them fair starting wages. Society has flaunted the privileges of ownership and the power of management. Kids these days see right through that bullshit methodology and warrantless demand for respect.

Generation G

We hear Generation G (which stands for Greedy and includes anyone bitching that they already ‘paid their dues’) snarking that millennials won’t answer the phone and prefer to receive a text before engaging. Well, that’s how they’ve grown up, with phone etiquette that differs from your own. It’s an evolved behavior, not a choice. It’s similar to why birds sing or pose rather than fight. It’s ritualized and a show of sensitivity. But it’s viewed as insensitivity by Generation G because people of a certain fixed viewpoint choose to respond like parents that have lost the attention of their children because they refuse to ask if they’re ready to have a conversation. Lack of respect in one direction begets lack of respect in another.

The attitude that Generation G is “entitled” to respect is symptomatic of the selfishness and impatience we’re seeing on the political front as well. Millions of people are lining up to support the likes of Donald Trump because he acts like they think. He’s acquisitive, demanding and refuses to be ignored. He’s a selfish jerk by all counts, who can’t legitimately define his policies or even his true beliefs, so he just goes around saying what people want to hear, which is selfish, boorish bullshit. He’s a post-modern perversion of the classic Yes Man, who excels in the corporate world because he aggrandizes himself to those in power, or with power in the Donald’s case.

Diva-lution 

This is the point to which society has devolved. Divas bitching they can’t get any respect from “kids these days.”

There is precious little evidence on business sites like Linkedin that people see any deeper than the tip of their noses. It’s convenient to point fingers at millennials and predict dire things for the future because it absolves those currently responsible for the deconstructed nation as well as the support they’ve tacitly given to people that lie to our faces and refuse to govern, then claim the high ground.

I believe millennials are reacting to the browbeating actions of a jaded generation with a call for respect based on humanity. They do it through digital means perhaps, and that drives the so-called “real Americans” fucking crazy. Yet it’s the same brand of passive response to aggression and selfishness advocated by the likes of Mahatma Ghandi and Martin Luther King, Jr. who believed it is best to meet the violent, selfish nature of others with compassion. Or ignore it altogether. Then it is disarmed. But first, the sirens of selfishness are likely to scream. Like divas.

What’s done, is done

So I don’t sit here complaining that I had to work in the dishroom during college. Nothing I can do now will ever change that fact. It was hard, and I hated it. Every minute of it. The experience depressed me mentally and physically. It made it difficult to excel in the sports I chose to engage.

When I finally was freed from dishroom duty my senior year in college, and took a job with the campus recreation department doing graphics for campus activities, the hours were much easier to manage. And as a direct result, I also rose from seventh man on the cross country team to second man for much of the season. We went on to place second in the nation that fall. The following spring I won the conference steeplechase championship as well.

The point here is that paying my dues did not make me better at anything. If anything, it made me so relieved to be done with that shit I excelled out of sheer delight.

True excellence 

I question whether forcibly expecting people to “pay their dues” accomplishes anything toward true excellence. The world where sorority and fraternity hazing were so tolerated may be slowly disappearing. There’s hope in that. But there are still plenty of campus rapes to consider, which is a product of a certain brand of belief in entitlement by young man who do not respect young women.

There are old jokes still around such as, “What’s the different between rape and rapture? Salesmanship.” And some people almost seem to believe that rape is a form of “paying dues” for being too attractive or dressing a certain way.

It’s a sickness in society to think like this. But people get away with and always have unless someone calls them out and points out the absurdity of their arguments that their personal sensation fo entitlement should not be questioned even as they question the differing modalities of each and every new generation. If Socrates could be so wrong about the kids of his day, who ultimately turned out just fine, then so can you.

And you should shut up about it. Because you sound like a spoiled diva.

SHOW RESPECT. GIVE FULLY.

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Cheaper than therapy, but here’s what you might miss

Posted on April 28, 2016 by Christopher Cudworth

running-cheaper-than-therapy.pngThere’s a meme that says Running Is Cheaper Than Therapy. And that’s generally true. But at the price of $150 per pair of shoes, it’s getting to be an almost even competition.

Cycling is perhaps cheaper than therapy, and swimming too. They all have their costs. But it’s the benefits of better mental and physical health that we seek. So it’s a fair tradeoff in almost every case.

I’ve done perhaps 50,000 miles of running therapy in my lifetime. Cycling caught up to that number over the last ten years, and possibly passed it. Swimming is far, far behind and will never, ever catch up to either. But that’s okay. It’s easy to drown your sorrows in a short pool session.

All this running around trying to keep our heads together does do great things. It can relieve stress. It stimRun Cheeriosulates the mind for problem-solving, enhances creative thinking and can release anger or other non-constructive thought patterns in a healthy way.

I haven’t done a ton of traditional psychotherapy, but there have been times when it has helped. In periods of great stress during my late wife’s long illness, I visited a psychologist at the Living Well Cancer Resource Center. Her name was Gretchen. She listened and gave me feedback on the emotions and fears running through my brain. It was quite helpful.

The methodology became evident. Get the patient talking about their problems and often the solutions are revealed. Action has to come from within the person anyway. Why not let them reveal their own problems, and help motivate them to do something about what’s bugging them?

You can see there is a natural relationship between endurance sports and therapy. Typically we all carry on some form of internal dialogue while we’re out there working out. Our therapist in these cases is either our own voice or that of a trusted friend (s). I know several people that have their way through divorce. Their running partner became something like a divorce counselor.

But what are some of the basic things you can (and should) learn from therapy about yourself? Here’s a little list to consider. Some of these are drawn from actual revelations borne of therapy. Others have evolved over time. I hope they help you understand the merits of therapy, however you go about it.

  1. The main route to functionality and even happiness in this world is to forgive other people and learn to forgive yourself as well.
  2. Find a healthy outlet for any anger and frustration you might feel and the objectivity you get from those activities to study the real, not the imagined source of your anger.
  3. When faced with numerous problems, take out a pen and paper and write them down. It will help you manage your thoughts and gain control and perspective over each situation. Then figure out which ones you need to solve first.
  4. Be careful with ruminative thoughts. Ideas or fears that constantly repeat themselves are a habit of mind that can close out rational thinking. They can also affirm tendencies toward anxiety or depression.
  5. Don’t be afraid to use prescription anxiety or depression medication. Some people are genetically wired to feel anxiety and depression as a constant presence. Using intelligently prescribed medication to manage these conditions is not a weakness. It is a show of strength and commitment to your own health and well-being.
  6. Listen. You don’t have to solve everyone else’s problems for them. A spouse or a child or a friend often just need a listening ear. You do not need to take on their problems for them. Be empathic, and be yourself. Showing consistency in your character is often the most important thing they are seeking from you.
  7. You know the saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff.” Well, that’s not really true. There are genuinely big problems in this world. It’s more about identifying those bigger problems. These can also include issues from the past, such as abuse as a child, or difficult family situations. Again the best strategy is to start documenting some of these for yourself, and look for patterns. What keeps coming up? That’s what you should work on.
  8. Stop complaining. Complaint is nothing more than making excuses for your own fears or lack of motivation. Complaint toward others is also a lack of respect. Lack of respect breeds lack of trust. A lack of trust leads to loss of love. So learn to love, and work backwards from there. You’ll find that complaint tends to disappear, especially when you prioritize to show that love to others. Loving leads to giving. Giving leads to fulfillment and shared experiences. Life gets richer.
  9. Turn some of your problems over to the universe. Most of them go away within a day. Saying a prayer or letting problems go through yoga or some other transcendent experience is a highly healthy way to get rid of unnecessary baggage.
  10. Get out into nature. Nature is the ultimate stress reliever. When all else fails, even a bracing cold wind on a winter day can make you appreciate a warm coat, a warm car or a warm cup of hot chocolate. Nature gives you perspective. The secret in all this is that coming into contact nature is what we truly seek in our running, riding and swimming. But don’t forget to get off the bike. Walk instead of run. Enjoy the water for its own sake. Nature welcomes you. It’s how many people connect with the thing they call God. But that’s up to you.

And there you go. Free therapy advice for all those who run, ride and swim for mental health, yet seek a bit more background. Real therapists, feel free to weigh in if there’s anything I’ve missed.

Otherwise, LOVE LIFE.

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The bathroom game and Christian zealots

Posted on April 27, 2016 by Christopher Cudworth

 

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Franklin Graham. Jesus despises your brand of religion. 

Last weekend the Naperville Women’s Half Marathon attracted 2500 women to the city where everyone wants to live. Many of them gathered at the downtown Starbucks restaurant where the line for the women’s room got long. I used the men’s room, then gestured to all the gals in line. “You should use this one. Women need it more today.”

 

And right away, several women jumped lines and did their business in the men’s room.

This happens all the time at this Starbucks. Our Saturday mornings all winter long our Run Club meets there. We change in the bathrooms after our runs. Sometimes two women join each other to change clothes at the same time and save time. Men think nothing of a woman coming out of the men’s room. Most men do not do the same in the women’s room. It’s an understanding of sorts.

There’s no real gender mixing going on. And certainly if someone who seemed transgender wanted to use either bathroom it would not be a threat to anyone. You cannot always tell if someone is transgender, you know. It’s not a choice they make to have a body that produced male or female features or sexual organs. They are born that way.

But religious and social freaks who are afraid of people who are transgender or gay cannot imagine sharing a bathroom with someone that is not “like them.” Of course, the same held true when whites did not want to share bathrooms or water fountains with blacks. That was in America’s Dark Ages. Stupid fears bred stupid behavior.

Some people wish it was still that way. Ignorant, stupid people.

And of course, the most stupid, fearful public figures love to use issues like transgender bathroom choice to generate power for themselves. Men like Franklin Graham, one of the most onerous religious zealots working today, are urging a boycott of Target stores because of a decision to allow transgender people to use either bathroom.

Reportedly thousands of so-called Christians are now Graham’s lead. I say good riddance to all of them. Who wants to share bathrooms with dangerous zealots anyway? They’re likely to lurk in there and slit your throat with a sharpened crucifix if you don’t come out and confess your faith in Jesus Christ after taking a crap. There’s a history of religious people acting like that you know. It was called the Inquisition. Thousands of people were put to death in horrific ways just for looking at someone the wrong way.

How many transgender assaults on other people have you honestly ever heard about?

Jesus didn’t care about any of this shit. In fact, he was very specific about the shit that comes out of our asses. The Book of Matthew rips a new one for the Pharisees trying to force religious laws on the people. Matthew 15:16: 16 “Are you still so dull?” Jesus asked them. 17 “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18 But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20 These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”

Now bible zealots will leap at the mention of “sexual immorality.” They’ll chime in with accusations that homosexuality is a sin. But Jesus says absolutely nothing about that subject anywhere in the New Testament.

His key zealot Paul turned it into something of an issue however. But some people think Paul was a repressive soul whose blinding conversion to Christ may have been a form of mental illness, or a dam breaking in his angry brain. He was a brilliant theologian and a good writer, but he also spoke of a “thorn in his flesh” that may indeed have been a homosexual leaning. We don’t know for sure. But we do know that Paul was a bit twisted, and fought bitterly with none other than James, the brother of Jesus. And before Paul became a Christian, he went around persecuting Christians. Some of them died as a result of these pursuits.

Sound familiar in modern context? Every week it seems we find yet another conservative politician who has made a career of going around persecuting gays newly exposed for being gay themselves. The things they hate most in themselves they rabidly hate in others. Repression is denial. Denial is a lie. Liars sooner or later get caught in their deceptions. It’s all so unnecessary.

So get this: the Target boycott is a massive deception of false morals. Certainly Jesus would have had considerable passion for transgender people. He had compassion for people with epilepsy and other convulsive diseases that were so massively misunderstood back in Bible times. It was thought that people who were mentally ill or suffered from congenital disease were possessed by demons. Surely transgender people would have had a difficult time in ancient repressive societies.

Modern medicine has exposed so many of these ancient beliefs as tragically false. And modern genetics can now explain every type of condition known to the human race. There is still not a “gay gene” identified, but there certainly is certainly a genetic process at work in the transgender identity of people born with organs of both sexes.

But men like Franklin Graham don’t want these people to have the same rights as others. He wants them quarantined and ostracized in society. His vicious, zealous beliefs are the work of a twisted soul. He’s an ideological freak. A radical. Anti-Constitutional. A mean bastard.

But there’s hope for this world. People that run and ride and swim are so over all of this sexual fears stuff. We recognize that body parts are body parts. Men have them. Women have them. Some people have both. Big fucking deal.

And what about sex? Some women are attracted to women. Some men are attracted to men. Big fucking deal. Franklin Graham? Go fuck yourself.

The United States Constitution once categorized black people and other minorities as 3/5 of a person. This egregious law was based on fears about blacks and other races. It was actually this brand of thinking that empowered Adolf Hitler to murder six million Jews, and people in his country went along with it. Because it conferred them with power.

That’s what the Target boycott is all about. It’s a pitiful defense of a worldview that is outmoded, dangerous and anachronistic. And it’s about fear of losing power over society. It defies even biblical virtue, because punishing a company for your religious beliefs is very much in keeping with the Pharisees and other legalists against whom Jesus fought so hard. He called them hypocrites and a “brood of vipers” for their power-mongering ways.

Instead Jesus’ goal was to bring people to a life in God. None other than Pope Francis, the modern day leader of the Catholic church, has stated that laws that do not lead to the love of Christ are obsolete.

So what are Franklin Graham and his brand of so-called Christians trying to prove? That they know better than Christ how to interact with the world. And they’re wrong. So fucking wrong. If there is such a thing, they can all go to hell.

SEEK JUSTICE.

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That moment when…

Posted on April 27, 2016 by Christopher Cudworth

IMG_1850Athletes bear the extra burden of things to remember when getting ready to run, ride or swim. Forgotten items and preparations can lead to that moment when…

TMW: You realize your favorite running shorts are in a heap of wet laundry at the bottom of the washing machine.

TMW: 10 miles into a bike ride you look down and realize you forgot to put air in your tires.

TMW: Both water bottles are sitting back on the kitchen counter and you’re about to meet up with the ride group at the prescribed time.

TMW: You empty your bag at the locker room and realize the only swim goggles you brought are dark and the pool is dark and you are about to enter a very dark world for 3000 meters.

TMW: Your shoe comes untied at the mile mark of a 5K in which you’ve prepared for weeks to set a PR.

TMW: You thought you grabbed the sun-block arm sleeves when what you grabbed were actually arm warmers, and it is 84 degrees outside.

TMW: You signed up online and trained for a race and the race organizers seem to have no record of your entry. Anywhere.

TMW: Lying in your warm bed with your partner facing the very real question of whether to have sex and risk being late for your training or walking around all day wishing you weren’t an athlete at all.

TMW: Any tree starts to look like a bathroom, but you didn’t tote any toilet paper.

TMW: You step out of the Porta Pottie to realize a bit of leakage has stained the crotch of your cycling kit and there are 40 people waiting in lines to witness that moment.

TMW: It’s time to change a flat tube and there are no replacement tubes in the pouch under your seat because you had a flat the last ride and forgot to refill.

TMW: The favorite flavor of your PowerBar, Clif Bar or NUUN is empty at the store.

TMW: You set a PR only to find out the course is short.

TMW: You set a PR only to find out the course is long.

TMW: You set a PR and no one really seems to care.

TMW: You’re too exhausted from training to stay at a really fun party. So you go home and then can’t get to sleep because you’re too wired from the party.

TMW: That extra drink tasted really good and the next morning there are 86 miles to ride on a windy, sunny day on a course with lots of hills.

TMW: You are 80% done with your swim workout and really have to pee, but on principle you refuse to do that in the pool.

TMW: The walk from the locker room to the pool feels extra cold and you realize you are getting a cold or the flu, but swim anyway.

TMW: At the finish of a race you realize that things would have gone much better if you’d trained more/less/harder/easier/something. Because that’s how it always feels.

Perhaps you have a few That Moment When ideas to share?

BE ORIGINAL. TRAIN HARD. COMPETE WELL.

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Naked, black and free

Posted on April 26, 2016 by Christopher Cudworth

Venge ExpertThe new Specialized Venge Expert is matte black in color. It has no cyclometer yet attached. When I ride like that, I feel free. Free to choose a route and not worry how many miles per hour I might be going. Or even how far. Free to accelerate for a while and not judge whether the speed I’m achieving is any better or worse than I perceive. It can be disappointing to think you’re going 28 mph and look down to find you’re going only 24.

And climbing. Now there’s latitude to focus on the full pedal stroke and climb well rather than judging my efforts and freaking out because the bike computer says 9 when double digits might seem so much better. Because, you know, one mile an hour is so crucial.

dresses-club-and-party-dresses-sophia-halter-little-black-dress-black-shop-moddeals-1The matte black surface of the bike is also understated. There’s nothing so calming, or so succinct, as plain black anything. They say every woman needs a little black dress. They are simple, understated and show off the form without playing up the potential faults.

I feel the same way on the Venge bike. It is my little black dress. Or my plain black khakis and Polo shoes with white soles. Fit to go out and see what happens. Black is cool.

Black persecution

Yet blackness has so often been maligned in history. The so-called black race of people have been chased across continents and enslaved, or wiped out on continents all across the globe, sometimes through colonialism. Sometimes by genocide. For all the empathy extended to Jews stemming from the Holocaust, black people have just as much cause for lamentation.

In Australia, the aboriginal people once treated as inferior still fight for equality. In Black people were once characterized in the Constitution as 3/5 of a person. This was in part to keep them from politically outnumbering whites, and also to impose a prejudice to keep blacks under control out of fear. Fortunately, black culture has outlasted such idiocy to some degree. Yet black people still cannot get respect from a large population of dullard whites dependent on false biblical translations and brute force to justify and impose their supposed racial “superiority.” These are the “white supremacists,” an oxymoron if there ever was one.

Character

Kimetto_Dennis1-Tokyo13-1Real athletes know that it’s the character of the person as well as the physical attributes that make them successful. We know that Kenyan and Ethiopian and Moroccan athletes thrive in long distant events because their cultures highly value success in these endeavors. Yet it’s not race alone that dictates that success. It’s training and hard work.

There was once much speculation about how the Japanese culture would always produce great marathoners because the country values sacrifice and self-discipline. Korean athletes also enjoyed international success for a while. It was once the same for Finland and the likes of Lasse Viren. The seeming dynasty of each of these distance athletes from 20-30 years ago somehow dissipated. It lost its character.

Black opportunities

Black athletes have only recently begun to excel in the sport of cycling, and the sport of triathlon is still pretty much white endeavor. There are cultural and economic factors at work in all these cases. A black athlete from the inner city of Chicago is likely going to have a tough time entering a sport like triathlon. Yet the elements are all there: the bike trails along the lake, and the lake itself.

I think about the freedoms I’ve been offered in life and realize that not every person has those same opportunities. Perhaps that doesn’t matter in the minds of some. But if you’re truly going to appreciate what people do overcome to achieve success, sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture. Take stock of what you have and what others do not.

I think about all those who achieved success despite the prejudices of the 50s and 60s, and how far the nation has now come in electing a black President. It was an indication that a significant majority of Americans has progressed in their thinking. That electing a black president was the right thing to do.

Black prejudice

And yet we’ve also witnessed seven years of clear obfuscation toward Obama, that began even before he got into office. That determination to make a black President fail was a naked attempt to resist equality. The excuse that has been given that it was Obama’s policies, not his race, that made some so determined to fight. And sure, political resistance is fair. Yet the blatant prejudice that has been unleashed in the current election process is an indicator that a prejudiced audience has been served along the way and wants access to even more power. It’s really no surprise that a worldview based primarily on ignorance and fear toward black people should eventually surface. It’s been there all along in America. It only took a grunting bully like Donald Trump to give it voice.

Black achievement and challenges

But the facts of black achievement also exist across the entire spectrum of the American experiment. It’s there in industry and commerce. In music and entertainment. In science and religion. In civil rights and social progress. To deny these achievements is to deny the existence of the American dream at all.

That is not to say black people are perfect. That is not the point here at all. Within the black community there is consistently harsh debate over subjects such as faith and the social contract. Some blacks have proposed that the homosexual “agenda” was specifically created to feminize black men.

So there is much irony afoot in this world. Because the oppression of blacks has direct parallels to the oppression of gay people (or for that matter, women…) and the struggle for civil rights in a white-male-dominated society.

But of course, all these beliefs come down to what one chooses to believe about gays or blacks or women; are these choices people make about who they are?

Choices

I’ve been a runner since the age of twelve years old. That was a choice I made with some guidance from my father. That choice has greatly defined who I am and how I behave. At one point, I actually made the elective decision to back off the degree to which I was defined as that person. It was having consequences in how I interacted with all the people in my life, and my work. As much as I was defined by my lifestyle in running, it was still a choice.

Being black or gay or a woman is not a choice. Neither is being transgender. These are all facts of personhood. They are naked facts, in other words, not the kind just dressed up to look like facts. The rest is just opinions and dogma and traditions that need to be discarded.

When it comes down to it, we all need to be naked, black and free. That’s the only honest baseline there is.

SEEK JUSTICE.

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All bets are on the women in this race

Posted on April 25, 2016 by Christopher Cudworth

Somewhere in the middle of the pack of 2500 participants at the Naperville Women’s Half Marathon, a lone male figure came trotting past. He was wearing a number, so he was not a bandit. The small crowd gathered at an intersection paused in their clapping. One person said, “What’s up with that?”

Minutes later a man dressed in a North Central College athletic shirt wandered up to our cheer pack and smiled. “He lost a bet. That’s why he’s running in the women’s race.” But isn’t that an outmoded bet? What’s the implication anymore? That it’s an insult to run with women? That it’s men that are still superior runners, and that he’s a “girl” for losing the bet? Frankly, all bets are on the women in that one. He was firmly in the middle of the pack even running his apparent best.

Other than that, the only men who showed up in the race were the dapper male pacemakers dressed in tuxedo-style run shirts. Each male pacer carried a sign of their projected times from 1:40 through 2:30 and beyond. It was a nice service, but not entirely necessary. The women seemed to have a fine sense of pace on their own.

Few races have I attended where there were more police and volunteers working. In fact, security looked pretty high, with military grade vehicles parked at the start/finish line. These were flanked by generally smiling officers in flak jackets and thick chest protectors. If any threat was going to approach these women runners on a Sunday morning, it was going to have to face down a small army prepared and willing to meet it.

That’s likely how it should be at least one day a year. It’s a well-worn fact that women still face their share of stares and even street harassment while out running. But when you put 2500 women together in one place, and let them loose on 13.1 miles of streets in a comfortable Illinois suburb, the odds of male annoyances drops precipitously.

The interesting part about this race was the fact that the top 10 women all finished between 1:22:04 and 1:35. That’s between 6:00 and 7:00 mile pace. There are not that many male finishers in a typical half marathon that even manage those paces. At last year’s Fox Valley Half Marathon, a women runner named Tera Moody placed second in the overall race in a time of 1:17, seconds behind the male winner. One can do worse these days than bet on the elite female runners to compete for top overall placing.

At the finish line a woman named Jamie mused that the ultimate winner, Julie Favorite (her actual name) was perhaps playing it a little coy in her post-race comments about her victory. “She was like, ‘I didn’t expect to win.’ But she was the only girl standing in the 6:00-mile section at the start. What did she expect?”

And after all was said and done, she really was the favorite.

One can perhaps understand the self-deprecation. There seems to be a delightful realm of encouragement and etiquette among women runners. At least on the surface. Maybe not so much once the race is settled and done. “11th overall isn’t so bad,” the announcer said to Jamie at the finish. But, she observed, “My goal today was finishing in the Top 10, not 11th. I’m kind of mad! There were a lot of great runners in this race!”

 

The spirit of the day was supported participation. There were tons of tandem gals wearing matching race uniforms. Some ran for PAWS and a few for other causes. Many simply chose to sign up and run in the official race tee shirt. “I could smell the new shirts,” my companion Sue chuckled.

Not all women buy into the pink look so popular (or at least familiar) at so many women’s races. “Aaahhh,” Sue muttered as we approached the crowds of runners gathered near the pre-race Porta Potties. “Too much pink!” Patty Saccone was one runner that ditched the pink for a purple hat. “In honor of Prince,” she smiled.

With perfect weather conditions–– 50 degrees at the start and barely sixty degrees at the finish––with hardly any wind, there were few apparent medical needs. Just a number of old shirts cast to the curbs during the race.

The finish setup inside the stadium at North Central College was a nice touch. Competitors got to circle the last 300 meters on the track. The line of banners at the finish line featuring the logo of the Naperville Running Company made certain everyone knew who the lead running shop in Naperville truly is.

It was an impressive debut race and the organizers of the Naperville Women’s Half Marathon deserve a pat on the back. The proceedings went far better than the previous day’s Sly Fox Half Marathon in St. Charles, where a massive glitch in the course marshalling led hundreds of runners off course and cut a mile off the 13.1 Half Marathon distance. Not good. That’s a breach of The Basics when it comes to race management: Accurate Course. Porta Potties. Decent aid stations. The are the basics.

Yet such are the risks of race directing. When it works, it’s wonderful. There’s nowhere to hide when the basics aren’t in place.

It’s great that women still get their own races, but these days the bets are off on whether they run any slower without men around. They can run and win the day just fine on their own.

SHOW RESPECT.

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The puzzling evidence of jumbo raisins

Posted on April 22, 2016 by Christopher Cudworth

JUMBO RAISINS.jpgI’m constantly trying to find ways to eat a healthier diet, interrupted only by the occasional peanut butter cookie dough smash Blizzard from Dairy Queen.

So yes, there’s a lack of consonance in my approach. That doesn’t make me a nasty person by any stretch, just a little flawed. Certainly I’m not as conflicted as this constant crazy parade of American politicians campaigning to ban same-sex marriage only to be caught on gay dating sites or confessed to clandestine relationships. Why can’t they admit their orientation and be healthy about it?

Because that’s not as fun or exciting as being an ungodly zealot in their unfortunate self-denial. That’s why. It’s puzzling evidence of the thing we call human nature, and most people just can’t deal with it.

I’m not in any sort of zealous denial about what I’m doing. I mess up my healthy diet all the time. Guilt seldom enters the picture or makes me want to go out and get elected so I can tell other people they can’t eat sugar or go to Dairy Queen. No, my conspiracies are all private, small and mundane. Because avoiding sugar is like avoiding air, for the most part. It just comes with the territory.

HEALTHY FOOD.jpgBut yesterday I made the mistake of going to Trader Joe’s on an empty stomach. And you know what? I did really well. Stayed to the outside of the opening aisle where the veggies and fruits all lurk. Picked out strawberries, raspberries and blackberries. Loaded up with spinach greens, carrots and some spicy hummus.

Then I drifted over to the nuts and dried fruits aisle where everything costs $6.00. I turned down the choice of getting banana chips because they’re apparently cooked in fat and covered with sugar. Someone told me that. Major disappointment in my life. Banana chips are fun to eat. Even my dog Chuck likes them. It seems like they should be good for you. Because. They’re bananas. In chip form. It seems like a straight-line theory. But it’s not.

Such are the deceptions of the world. But that wasn’t where my shopping day ended, passing up the banana chips. Next came a shock that was going to affect my entire belief system. It happened because I asked for help from a Trader Joe Crew Member (in their tropical shirt) to “find the raisins.” He walked me back to the aisle with the fruits and dried nuts (did I get that right?) and literally waved his hands at an entire shelf of raisins. That I’d missed. It was like some sort of magic trick or scene from a Disney movie like Flubber.

It’s often that way in the world. You can stand there looking at clear evidence of what you’re trying to see and completely miss the raisins right before your eyes. So I snatched a pack of dark raisins and threw them in the cart. Such is innocence.

When I got home and pulled out the empty jar I use to store raisins––the one with the happy red rim that looks the same color as a Sun-Maid Raisin box, and thus worth of raisin holding––my mind started to spin. Because when I emptied the raisins from the bag into the box, it appeared they had been the victim of some radical nuclear accident. These raisins were huge. Like, Donald Trump huge! I’d never seen anything like them. They looked more like figs or dates. They were raisins on steroids, or grown in some field watered from the cooling ponds of Fukishima. They were, in a word or two, quite frightening.

Jumbo, they call them. I looked up that word. Jumbo is defined as:

  1. a very large person or thing.

ADJECTIVE

  1. very large:

Enough said. These raisins made me rethink everything I believed about myself and the world. Like, maybe the Flat Earth people are right after all. And maybe Building Seven and the two World Trade Centers really did just fall in on themselves in perfect order, like we’ve been told the last decade or so. And maybe Ted Cruz is supposed to rule the world like he said back in his college days. Maybe all these things really are true.

David Byrne had it all right! It’s like that song from the Talking Heads, Puzzling Evidence. There’s puzzling evidence all around us! We’re being sold Jumbo Raisins like they’re everyday occurrences. We’re told it’s natural to want to run marathons, or complete an Ironman. Puzzling evidence!

You got the cbs…!
And the abc…!
You got time and newsweek!
Well, they’re the same to me!

Now don’t you wanna get right with me?
(puzzling evidence)
I hope you get ev’rything you need
(puzzling evidence)

Puzzling evidence
Puzzling evidence
Puzzling evidence

Read more: Talking Heads – Puzzling Evidence Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Because now, as we speak, the entire Ironman franchise is owned by Chinese interests. That’s going to mean that if you compete in any Ironman event, you’re going to be nothing more than another product MADE IN CHINA!

Puzzling Evidence! Hardened in your heart.

It’s all a conspiracy! It’s a worldwide plot to suck us all into believing what they want us to believe. Jumbo Raisins indeed. Puzzling evidence…

You got your CBS, and your ABC…

SEEK JUSTICE.

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