What you’re about to read may not be perceived as kind. But rest assured, the intention is self-directed in some sense. If we can’t reveal some of what goes on inside our heads on a daily basis, then the world is truly sealed off from us. There is no engagement. No interaction. No change to be gained from the things we learn and see.
So let’s talk about the dangers of self-perception and how we deceive ourselves into the wrong type of forgiveness for our bad habits.
We’ll begin this little exercise by talking about fat. And getting fat. And getting used to being fat. From letting fat define us. And refusing to change.

Honey Buns are a wicked temptation.
This is not to say that having some fat on bodies is not good for us. It’s healthy in the off season to put on a little weight and let up on the training to a degree. In the past I’ve done the 24/7/365 training thing and had body fat as low as 3%. I was fit but not necessarily healthy, or strong. I was always getting colds, and worse.
That’s the low extreme of fatness. The high end is whatever point we reach that feels intolerable. Several people I know have gone on social media this past week to say, “That’s it! I’m done with my current state of fatness.” One is a swimmer who added an indoor cycling workout to his mix. Another is considering a juice cleanse. Anything to start the process of pushing toxins, grease and too much sugar out of our bodies. It might take a bulldozer.
Just know, that whatever our personal state of existence, there are reasons why we all get fat. More calories going in than are going out. The rest are stored as fat.

These are breakfast cereals. Seriously?
There’s a reason why calorie intake is so hard to control. The American food industry is obsessed with getting us to eat products that kick our food sensors into high gear every day. We lay there in wait like a lizard salivating for the daily cricket dump.
Take a stroll through the grocery store…and you might as well be walking through a murderous gauntlet built around temptations to get fat. Or fatter. Fatty fat fat fat.
It feels almost like a conspiracy at times. While walking through the deli and bakery section at the Jewel store yesterday I noticed a counter display that had fat, sugary desserts perched above 12-packs of 312 beer. Desserts and alcohol may be the two worst dietary habits in the universe. Which means that display isn’t just clever marketing. It is enabling food addicts.

I’ve hit my limit I know. The degree of fat on my body is simply not acceptable. But when you get to a certain point there is a risk of accepting where you are because it is so hard to change. There is a temptation to look around at all the people (male or female) that are fatter than you and say to yourself,
“Well, at least I’m not as fat as that person…”
And that, my friends, is when you really know you need to change. America possibly ranks among the TOP 10 Fattest Countries in the World, but who’s really counting? Our President is obese and dines mostly on fast food because he’s personally afraid that someone will try to poison him. Yet there are many who consider the foods we consume from fast food restaurants and the center aisles of the grocery store real poison. So our President is deceiving himself.

Make America Fat Again. Donald Trump is eating the heart of America.
My motivation right now, and I mean this sincerely, is to lose weight in direct opposition to the fat fuck “president” of ours. Here’s a guy who rides golf carts on the greens because he thinks walking (or any exercise) is bad for him. He drinks 12 Diet Cokes a day and swears that the body only has so much energy and working out could shorten his life. What in that litany of fucked up beliefs and habits is there to admire about the man/
This obese bastard got elected to President by rhetorically promising people financial donuts carved from the fat of the land. Coal subsidies versus acid rain? Bring ’em back! Oil drilling versus offshore catastrophes like Deepwater Horizon? Trump just proposed opening 92% of the Continental shelf to drilling. What bad could happen?
And this tax reform farce is nothing more than offering bribery to the masses along with rewards to the rich for sponsoring his Twitter account. That’s what it amounts to. The tax cuts will run up another trillion in national debt, about which the GOP savaged Obama. Now they’re raving how economic growth will replace all that. How’d that work out for Bush & Co? Not so well. The “have your cake and eat it too” philosophy of trickle down economics never works.
It basically led to the giant “sugar crash” of 2007. Speculators high on the chocolate cake of “free money” stumbled and fell over their own fat feet. As a result, millions of Americans were thrown permanently off the work rolls in the 2007 recession. Nice work, fatheads. And we’re supposed to trust you with another chocolate cake in 2018?
Fuck. You.
But like all fatties in denial, they’re figuring out ways to “trim” vital programs such as Medicare and Social Security to get to a more “lean” budget. Anyone catch the irony here? The solution to America’s bloated government isn’t cutting the waste (or waist) of military spending or corporate welfare. Instead, Trump and the GOP are planning to liposuction out some vital organs by pretending they’re the “fat” about which we all have to be concerned. These would include medical care for the elderly and the long term savings plan of Social Security from which the government stole funds that were never repaid.
But instead of admit that bit of medical malpractice, the GOP wants to kill the patient in order to save the reputation of the merciless physicians of market philosophy. To quote Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life: “We’ve come for your liver.”
Never mind that blood on the floor. It’s the cost of doing business, you know.
Trump got elected because he appeals to a massive audience of fat, stupid, lazy Americans who don’t like to be challenged over their ignorantly racist beliefs, selfish notions of patriotism and penchant for moral donuts like banning abortion and throwing more minorities in jail. Convincing them otherwise is like trying to push a terminally obese patient from the smorgasbord at the community hospital. “I can always go back upstairs if I have a stroke! Donald won’t let me die!”
It’s an impossible task convincing the Fat Fucks they’re killing themselves with their own greed and suspicion toward basic healthcare. But we all have to start somewhere trying to change the world. Thus I’m starting my personal protest against the Fat Fuck Mentality of America by cutting carbs and continuing to read newspapers that report the truth.
We could all use a diet like that.
You know you’re married to a triathlete when…




Do you see what’s going on here? I’m testing my body but not defeating the purpose. I’m planning improvement but accepting that it’s not going to come overnight. I’m enjoying the process even though I get tired toward the end. That’s how you have fun in running. By allowing yourself to improve.
We celebrated New Year’s Eve with an amazing 11-course treat of a dinner at a restaurant called Gaetano’s in Batavia, Illinois. The Italian fare was strikingly flavorful and fine. Then we hopped over to the house of a friend where our regular Friday Night dinner crew was gathered for New Year’s festivities. Between the glasses of wine at dinner and the rolling offerings of booze at the party, it was time to quit drinking before midnight lest I tip into that zone of No Return. But then the champagne came out and we didn’t leave until 1:30 am.
For Sue, the music was a bit bittersweet. Her ex-husband was a big fan of the BoDeans. We all have music that associates itself with some prior love. Those songs come on the radio and we’re swept off to some other place in time, perhaps with an early love or a lost one. The song plays and we struggle to recover our senses, move back into the space we exist in the present, perhaps look over at the one we (now) truly love and think, “It’s alright. We all have a past.”
Sue and I trained at the Vaughn Center this morning. Her workout was rotating set of 2 X 200s and 1 X 400 times three circuits with 30 seconds rest. she rocked it. After the initial 200s, the first 400 was run at 7:20 pace. The rest of the workout went so strong that I turned to her and said, “This is fascinating running with you.”
During our workout the Fox Valley Park District staff was hauling bag after bag of inflated balloons into the field house. They stacked them in a big pile next to a plastic net they’d fill with the balloons and lift above the gym floor. It’s time for their annual New Year’s Eve celebration party! Sue and I could not resist walking over to take a selfie with such a huge pile of balloons.
We turned around to find the woman I’d waved to smiling at us. She pointed to the red flower in her hair and said, “I was one of thirteen siblings. Our mother used to send us all out of the house to work in the flowers before we went to school. We all hated flowers then. But we learned to love them, and that’s why I wear a flower in my hair every day.”
Yesterday at Home Depot while buying hardboard for my next painting project, I tossed a pack of Mixed Nuts on the counter to take back for a snack during work. I figured nuts are pretty harmless. Not many calories and no sugar. Safe snack right?
It must start with some calorie counting since I excel at ignoring what I’m eating in terms of calories and types of food. It’s time to download an app that helps me do it. I welcome suggestions, or tell us how you manage your calorie intake? Would love to share.
Basketball was once my favorite game to play. I grew up playing hoops from the time I was six years old. My scholastic career lasted until my senior year. That’s when I opted out of playing hoops in order to train for indoor track.
All through my 30s and early 40s I continued playing the game. We had a great Sunday night group with 25 or so players that would turn up at Harrison Street School to play from 6-9:00 pm. The games were always competitive and there were enough good players for the better players to match up, yet there were all levels of players and that was cool. All of us were married guys with kids back home. But our wives didn’t object to our absence on a Sunday evening once the weekend chores were done and the kids were pretty much settled down for the evening in front of the TV.
The death of Jake
Yesterday the temps were in the single digits and the wind chill ungodly. Had Jesus been born into this kind of weather, he’d have crawled back inside Mary and waited for the Holy Spirit to warm things up a little.
We also have a whole year to lose the fat we put on our bodies going into the holidays. It collects like dryer lint around our middle sections. We lose another belt notch and rue the sight of the next cookie knowing that it will only add to the problem. It can leave you feeling like Jabba the Hut. You may not be as fat as you think, but it’s all in how you feel.

I sat on the pool deck admiring their grace and power in the water. I thought about how hard each of those athletes has worked to get as good as they are now. I watched them swing to the left center of the lane as they approached the wall each lap, flipping with ease to come back up below the level of the next swimmer arriving for the turn. It all worked like some slick scene from a Disney cartoon.