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It’s a cold, cold world and that’s snot funny
Sometime late yesterday afternoon I choked a bit on a section of Clif Bar. Immediately after my throat felt funny. I’d upset the equilibrium somehow…
By evening there was a familiar tingling in my nose that told me a cold might be coming on. I reached for the zinc tablets and sucked on one of them for a while. It felt better.
Still, there was that low-grade sensation in my head and body that told me something was not quite right. I grabbed another zinc tablet and sucked on that for another hour.
That morning I’d run 6 miles on little more than six hours of sleep. Not a great combination. Working out at the health club the last couple days probably put me in contact with cold germs somewhere along the way. That’s what was up. A virus had crept into my head somehow.
Viruses

Look. They know what a cold virus looks like. Yet there’s no cure. Hmm. Maybe we need to shrink Bruce Willis and send him in to do the job.
Which is weird to say. Because is a virus just one critter? Or is it tons of critters doing their virus thing in your sinuses?
Whatever the case, you know the drill when it comes to the common cold. The typical pattern is to feel that tingling in your nose. Then comes the sinus drip or a simultaneous sore throat. Then you know you’re screwed. Not much use popping zinc much by that point. With a sore throat you’re in for the long haul. Zinc may shorten a cold, but by that point you’re already screwed.
I bring this up because I believe zinc consistently helps me fight cold viruses (yes, they are plural). Actually they are better known as rhinoviruses. That’s sometimes how they feel inside your nose anyway. Like snot rhinos are thrashing around inside your nostrils. So the nomenclature fits.
Treatments

The common cold can be sneaky and persistent. But they can also hit you like a rhino. Then you’re out of action.
Medical studies show mixed results about whether zinc actually shortens or prevents colds. All I can tell you is that for me, it works. I know too well what it feels like when a cold is coming on. During my days of chronic overtraining I was sick half the time and worried about catching a cold all the time.
Colds come on for a variety of reasons. Mostly they hit you when your overall resistance to infection is down. That can occur when your body is overtired from training. Most likely we come into contact with cold “germs” all the time. Our bodies generally fight them off with white blood cells. But when you’re low on sleep or exhausted from too much running, riding or swimming, a rhinovirus can set its horns into your sinuses and the whole cycle of cold symptoms begins.
Zinc possibly works by making it harder for cold viruses to take hold in your sinuses. I’ve always felt like it gets up there and coats your throat and penetrates your sinuses. Hence the value of sucking on the lozenges. Cold-Eaze works well for me. But so do good old zinc lozenges from any pharmacy.
Can’t whack a cold

This is an actual image of a human rhinovirus. Notice that the nodules look like flaccid penises. Perhaps the rhinovirus is just jealous it can’t get it up and wants to make you sick as a result.
The weirdest confession I can interject here, since you rather expect it from me by now, is that late night antics like masturbating when you’re overtired can cut your resistance. I know that sounds like an Old Wive’s Tale or the product of some jerk like that Christian Control Freak James Dobson, but it’s true. There’s something about the pursuant rise in body temperature in an overtired male, anyways, that does not too good things for your resistance to colds.
Go ahead, Call me crazy or accuse me of TMI. Back when I was a horny young runner between girlfriends I pushed my body to the limit too many times. So I speak from experience. Good old companion sex can do the same thing if you’re overtired. It’s more about fatigue and pushing your body’s basal state more than it is about sex or masturbation.
Cold truths
Any combination of activities that wears you out while training can set you up for a common cold. Stress is a good one for that as well.
Many of us react the same way to all these situations. We grow anxious with fatigue and eat all the wrong things. Sometimes we gravitate to sweets, which actually feed the virus. Sugar in general is the enemy of the human body when consumed in too much quantity. Diseases like cancers love to feed on such fast fuels. CAT scans and PET scans all look for areas of high cell activity and sugar certainly fuels that activity.
Usually colds progress from runny nose to a sore throat to a cough to phlegm. And then comes the clearing out stage. None of it is very fun. I will confess that I had one doozy of a cold back in the early 80s that produced so much phlegm it was rather like a sport to go out for runs and aim that stuff by spitting at telephone poles. God that was awful. But it was awful fun too.
Deal with it

At about the 10m mark of the Lake County Half Marathon. By this point the cold seemed a non-issue. I went on to run 1:10:58. But the first 10 miles felt miserable.
One year that I caught a cold I was obligated to race a half-marathon under my sponsorship contract with a running store. The night before the race was awful. It was that horrible stage when your nose is running so badly you can hardly sleep. I jammed bits of tissue up my nose to stop the tingling sensation so I could sleep.
The next morning the gun went off and my body took over the running part. All I could manage to do upstairs where my nose clogged up my face was honk and blow Farmer Snots from either side of my head. I felt like some crazed pelican out there.
Still, I passed the 10K mark at just over 33:00 and was on my way to finish in 1:10:58. I even beat a close rival by a few seconds. To this day it makes me wonder if I would have run any faster without the cold symptoms. Every step was an achey mess. The breathing was difficult. And yet, there was the result. Maybe it didn’t make that much a difference. My PR was not that much faster.
Training through?
There were many other times when I trained through or raced with colds. That’s how I developed this aggressive routine trying to stave them off. I know the symptoms. I can sense the warning signs. So I zinc it up and that seems to work.
I just have one hard, fast rule. When I have a sore throat I do not run, ride or swim. There’s no benefit in it. You’ll only make things worse in the long run. Let your body recover instead.
Drugs and such

New treatments for rhinovirus drugs apparently include plans to wrap the virus in green slime. Kind of like fighting snot with snot.
I’m not that big into alternative medicines or anything like that. I don’t believe in praying away the illness or shoving herbs up my ass. But there was one experience that made me wonder if there isn’t something to all this organic medicines. In the first few days of freshman year at Luther College, I was getting tired from all the training with the cross country team. We’d been cranking out 70 mile weeks and doing some partying as well. I felt a cold coming on.
Part of our freshman orientation was to meet with counselors off campus in their homes. I was invited to the residence of Orchard and Lillian M’Dzonga. They were both from Africa. For some reason I mentioned to Lillian that I felt a cold coming on. She led me to a room where there was a cabinet with dozens of little drawers. Opening one of the drawers, she scooped a small portion of dark powder and laid it out on a wooden plank. “Here,” she instructed me. “Sniff this up.”
I stared at her. I’d never done anything like that before. Nor would I ever again. But I bent down and sniffed that black powder up my nose. Within an hour, the sensation of a common cold coming on was gone. Sure, I was a little freaked out. But it worked. That’s one of the tarsnakes of modern medicine. It does not pay to ignore some ancient remedies. Chicken soup? It still works. Hot tea with honey? Helps too.
Bee pollen? Not so sure. More for allergies. And even on that, the jury is out. Colds and allergies feel the same, but come from different sources. It all comes down to knowing your body. Sometimes from the inside out.
No stimulants please

Relax. This isn’t an actual picture of my personal prostate. What do you think I am, nuts? Well, those too.
What I don’t do is conventional cold medicines. Years ago as a young father my doctor told me to stop using caffeine because it caused my prostate to enlarge. That once led to a prostate infection. That was enough for me to quit stimulants of all kinds. If you check the warnings on cold medicines this often language about not taking it if you are susceptible to enlargement of the prostate.
That ruled out all the antihistamines and other crap we ingest and take for colds. And you know what? I’ve had fewer colds than ever. Some of that medicine is so harsh I’m convinced it weakens your sinuses for the next time a cold comes around. So I don’t touch any of that. Better to face a cold organically and take better care of your body than jam it full of symptoms-related medicines that mess with the natural state of your nose and throat.
Wacky but it works
You can judge my weird little beliefs all you want. I’ll do just about anything to keep a cold at bay. So would you I bet, if you knew the method would not hurt you.
It’s a cold, cold world out there. Viruses are everywhere you turn. On the cart handles at the grocery store. On the stairclimber at the gym. On the lips of your lover. Yes, we trade germs all the time. That’s the fun part of life after all.
But colds aren’t fun. So whatever strategy you can find to keep them away, I support you. Got any strategies to share? Leave them in the comments below.
Running and riding through personal history
I belong to XSport, a fitness club with two locations within 5 miles of my house, one in Batavia where I live and one in St. Charles, just up the road.
The St. Charles location is on Randall Road, one of the big thoroughfares that connects Batavia, Geneva and St. Charles. I’ve lived in all three towns over the last four decades. I attended high school in St. Charles and was the top runner on the cross country team and competed in the mile, two-mile, high jump and triple jump in track.
That was back in the 1970s. And this morning as I trotted out to start a 6-mile run it struck me that I was about to run down Dean Street, the road that links the former high school campus (now a middle school) to Leroy Oakes Forest Preserve where we ran our cross country meets.
When you’ve lived in an area as long as I have, there is a tendency to let those memories slip away. It’s not really functional to dwell on the past that much. So what if you drive the same roads, or run and ride the same. It’s where you live. Move on in life.
Three summers ago a fellow distance runner from St. Charles came back to visit his parents who still live here. We went for a long bike ride with friends and the old stories about coaches and training routes and races all came to life. That’s fun.
But at one point during the ride he turned to us and said, “So it’s weird. You guys still, like, live here…”
Yes we do, we all laughed. My two best training friends competed on the same track and cross country teams in high school. One of them ran with me in college too. After college we kept racing and those guys took up cycling too. I don’t know why I didn’t back then. Too busy running I guess.

I’ll admit that big split in the third kilometer was me trekking into the woods to take care of bathroom issues. Ha.
So as I ran down Dean Street east toward the high school it occurred to me that I was wading through these thoughts about time and treasured friendships. We’d all run that mile stretch from Randall back and forth to the high school so many times. I was sixteen years old when we met.
Heading all the way into town I turned north on Route 31. I thought about what an insane little group of airheads we were, and wondered why some of us never got hit by passing cars. I guess there was enough common sense to survive. That was about it.
Cutting through Wildrose Springs I arrived through a shortcut at the driveway of my senior year girlfriend’s house. The new owners have done all kinds of nice things to expand the place. Still I can recall making out with her in that driveway with the windows cracked on my car. Her father once came past and pounded on the window. “Time to head in,” he told his daughter. She was a great kisser, that girl.
Turning west on Crane Road there is a series of rolling hills. On my bike they require concentration to maintain speed and use the last hill to shoot up the next one. Running these hills is a little less glamorous. You set your pace and plod up the best you can.
For a mile the scenery is country beautiful. Big homes and long driveways. It was all farms back when I ran that route in training after college. It was 10 miles round trip from my home in St. Charles to Crane Road and back.
There was good reason to run that route. The Randall Road Hill. It climbs for half a mile and covers 200 vertical meters. Not steep, but it keeps you honest in either direction.
I passed the school where my mother taught elementary education for 20+ years. She passed away in 2005. She had me visit the school many times over the years to talk to her children about birds and biology and art.
Halfway up the Dean Street hill sits the house of a longtime birding friend named Paul. He’s in his late 80s now and I have not seen him for years. He was also athletic director while I was an athlete in high school. Later he hired me to run the Norris Sports Complex indoor track, soccer, basketball and volleyball facility. I loved that part-time job. There are still many people from those years that I see running and walking in the Tri-Cities. Most of them are slower these days of course. But they’re still at it.
Same can be said for me. Yet I was happy to average in the high 8:00 per mile range on that hilly run through personal history. It reminds you that while life has its ups and downs, if you keep going there’s always something new to see, and new ways to think about times past.
That swimming thing? Hasn’t been going that well. Now it will.
Picking up a sport that you did as a kid can be one of the most humbling enterprises in the world. When I went back to playing soccer as an adult after coaching kids for 10 years it was shocking to realize how much coordination had vanished with age. But I persisted for several years, getting nominally better and even scoring a few goals.
That was soccer. Swimming has been an equally amusing challenge at the start. Way back in 2003 I took swim lessons. The only thing I got for that trouble was a lost contact lens that led to another weird chain of events. So I quit the whole swimming thing.
But now I’m desirous of two things. To add swimming as a lifetime activity and to actually compete in sprint and possibly Olympic triathlons.
My return to swimming has involved numerous sessions in which I swim a series of desperately difficult two-lap intervals in a 25 meter pool and sit there heaving on the side between efforts.
Part of that difficulty, I’ve now realized, comes from the basic fact that I was still trying to swim like I did as a kid. I swam for a team that had me do 50 meter sprint races all the time. So when I got in the pool as an adult, that’s how I swam. All out.
Well, that’s like going to the track and doing 200 meter repeats at 35 seconds right off the bat. It isn’t going to work. Not for long, anyway.
If it seems like I should have had better sense than that with all the training I’ve done over the years, allow me to add one factor of consideration to the formula of becoming a swimmer again. When you don’t swim, you sink.
So there’s this weird tension you first get when you go back in the water. It removes all rationality from your thought process. No, I wasn’t afraid to drown or anything like that. But it was disconcerting to run out of breath mid-pool and realize that I had better stop for a minute or life itself my come to an end. Something like that.
Not exactly a constructive thought process. Which brings me to the swim session I joined yesterday. There were eight other people filling up the lanes. I shook hands with the instructor named Whitney and without being too obvious she assessed my general athleticism likely wondering whether she’d have a dead man on her hands any minute.
Fortunately I surprised her. My swim stroke has been reviewed by several instructors and the basics are all somewhat in place. So after a couple laps Whitney pulled me aside and said, “Let’s do this. I want you to not think about anything for the next couple laps. Just swim. And Slow. Down.”
She was spot on with those instructions. My frantic swimming approach caused me to think too much at the same time I was pushing too hard.
Then she had me swim a session of two-lappers with floats between my legs. Finally we got to some technique work in which she encouraged me to reach more with my hands and gain the glide.
All these were things I’d tried before. Yet her low-pressure approach and encouragement seemed to have a positive effect. Perhaps I was just trying too hard? It happens to the best of us. We want to impress the ones we love. Or the people we want to beat. Or compete with those ahead of us on the scale of progress. It’s human nature to want all those things.
But they’re all dysfunctional when you’re trying to learn or re-learn a skill. You must concentrate fully on your own needs and abilities to make progress.
That swimming thing? It’s now going to go much better. I can feel it.
Posted in swimming, triathlon, We Run and Ride Every Day
Tagged fear of swimming, swim form, swim technique, swim triathlon, swimming form
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Designed by air
During a visit to the Chicago Auto Show this past weekend, we were entering the Toyota arena while a speaker laid into the benefits of some sort of concept or luxury sports couple gleaming in the bright lights. He was talking about how the car came about and spouted a phrase that stuck in my head. “This vehicle was designed by air,” he said.
It certainly looked the part. The car looked like it was formed from a pile of molten grey metal on a slab blown free of anything that did not fit the aerodynamic scheme of a fast-moving piece of machinery.
Then it struck me. I’m the opposite of that machine on the bike. I admit it. Despite a bike-fitting that was supposed to build comfort and aerodynamics, my position is still all wrong. It hurts me in particular on windy stretches of road. I can see over the heads of literally everyone in front of me.
Bike fit. Fit bike.
How this came about I’m not exactly sure. One has to trust that a bike fitter will arrive at the best solution. Tweaking yes, we have to do that ourselves. As the season went on last year I moved my bike seat back a centimeter or so because my strength allowed me to do so.
But that’s about it. I have not the courage to radically experiment with the fit lest I screw it up altogether. There is nothing worse than a bike that does not fit. Nothing. Basically it becomes a torture device. The longer you go, the less efficient you become. And the pain. It can arrive in the lower back. The hamstrings. Even the calves, the neck and the face.
Well, the face is the part where you make angry pained expressions at having to try so hard to ride easy. Professional bike racers actually spend time in wind tunnels testing their aero positions. My wind tunnel is a stretch of road 15 miles west of where I live. Out there among the flat cornfields of Illinois, there is no place left to hide. Headwinds. Crosswinds. Either you are riding in an efficient position out there or you are not.
Aero position
The real test comes when you are riding with triathletes. Road cyclists sit up a bit when riding in a group. We use the draft to move along together. But ride with a group of triathletes and no one gives a rat’s ass if you’re chewing the wind by yourself. They’re all tucked down on the aero bars with thighs pumping. So either you crouch down behind them or you take about a 30% efficient drop from the wind gulping down your throat.
If you have not experienced that gap in efficiency, just trust me. It’s depressing.
Running tall

The air coming out of you mouth tells you you’re going forward. That’s about the extent of my aerodynamic studies this winter.
Frankly that has long been a problem in running as well. At 6’1.5″ I was often taller than my nearest competitors. The fastest runners tend to be in the 5’8″ range. That meant the wind was almost always hitting me in the face. Thanks, guys. Grow a little.
So okay, that can’t be controlled while running. But on the bike I think something can be done about it. And I’m just now headed up to a swim lesson. And if your efficiency in the water is not what it should be, you literally go nowhere in the pool.
Designed by air. Refined by water. But it all comes to trial and error. And then trial by fire. Yes, I learned a couple things at the Chicago Auto Show. Now it’s time to put them into action.
Is Classic Rock really good for you?
In the early scenes of the movie Silver Linings Playbook, the character played by Bradley Cooper has recently been checked out of a treatment center for mental illness. His anxiety remains at a boiling point. When he walks into his therapist’s office for an appointment, the song My Cherie Amour by Stevie Wonder is playing quietly over the sound system in the office.
He stares at the receptionist and asks:
“Is this song really playing? This song is killing me. Can you please turn it off?”
It was the same song playing in his bedroom when he came home to find his wife engaged in sex with another man. He physically attacked the man. That crushing incident led to a nervous breakdown and a restraining order to prevent him from stalking his own wife.
Trigger points
His therapist purposely had the song My Cherie Amour playing as a test of his emotional stability. The song was a trigger for his anger and mental stability. “You have to find a strategy,” his therapist warned him.
More typically we tend to think of songs as inspiration for our best efforts. The music played at big athletic events such as marathons or triathlons usually features anthemic tunes designed to motivate, enervate and concentrate our mental energies on the moment. One wonders whether this dynamic is truly a sign of inspiration or desperation for motivation?
Clearly songs can have the opposite effect of positivity. Music from moments in our lives that were not so great can have a deleterious effect on our psyche. We recall music from the breakup of a love affair with a very personal and contradictory mix of wistfulness, doubt or unrequited anger. “Why did it end?” a breakup song might make us think. Or, “Why did I ever go out with them?”
Beast of Burden
Just this morning while running four miles on an indoor track, a song came on that made me think back to a college relationship. The Rolling Stones “Beast of Burden” was playing as part of a long set list of 70s tunes. It struck me funny that here, 30+ years after these tunes were released, the old associations still ring true. I remember singing that song as a bit of a joke to my college girlfriend. We were in the midst of one of those discussions college kids have about what their relationship means. Or does it mean anything at all? She was playing me against another guy she’d met back home. Later she’d make a real choice to date and marry someone else. So the warning signs were there, and the song almost perfectly captured the moment when it became apparent that we were definitely in love, but not for good.
I’ll never be your beast of burden
My back is broad but it’s a hurting
All I want is for you to make love to me
I’ll never be your beast of burden
I’ve walked for miles my feet are hurting
All I want is for you to make love to me
Am I hard enough
Am I rough enough
Am I rich enough
I’m not too blind to see
Associations
In fact there are hundreds of songs like these that bring back memories from our past. We use them as the “soundtrack of our lives,” to steal a cliche from a broad cultural meme. One wonders whether that’s really a good thing for us, long term. Are we all secretly locked in an emotional cycle like the Bradley Cooper character in Silver Linings Playbook? Are we constantly replaying the 1960s, 70s, 80s or 90s in our minds? Do we need to stop this right now? Find a new strategy perhaps?
Decade by decade
Music from the 1940s creeps me out. Music from the 50s, the decade into which I was late born, generally feels trite. Music from the 1960s is rich in personal history and growing up with the Beatles, Doors and Beach Boys. This was revolutionary music. Music from the 1970s filled my high school and college years. This and the late 1960s was Classic Rock at its most powerful. Music of the 1980s was reactionary yet always felt a little lost with exception of the Talking Heads, perhaps, and a few others. Music of the 1990s was bombastic, looking for its purpose. Music of the 2000s felt repetitive at times, but began to resolve itself with bands innovating sounds from the roots of rock’n’roll. The Black Keys come to mind. Arcade Fire. Cold Play kept on playing.
High and dry
As a denizen of all these decades I feel a bit like all this music washed me up on a beach somewhere. Or it makes me feel like a pale imitation of Keith Richards, high and dry but covered with the sands of time, I look back and think about all the ways we consumed our music as well. 45s. Albums. Tapes. CDs. MP3s. And now most of it is streaming. Through my Mac. iPhone. On and on we go.
The method of delivery may change, but the music remains largely the same. And each time we hear certain songs, we roll up on the same beach in our minds. We recall getting high to Led Zeppelin in the back of a cargo van with no seats to hold us still. Or we remember that time we were puking under a table at McDonalds from having too much to drink at a college weekend formal. And what was that song playing? Oh yeah, Baby Come Back by Player. “Any kind of fool could see…there was something…in everything about you…”
Singing our lungs out
As runners in the 70s we had no way to portably carry our music. So we sang all the time. Those are powerful associations with running for sure.
Just last Friday night my girlfriend and I attended a production of the rock opera Tommy. The music was familiar in a strange way. All those lyrics, sung so many times over in our youth. Like a musical hook through our heads: “How can we follow?”
We sang that entire album in the showers after cross country practice in high school. But that makes me determined, in a way, to move forward in my musical tastes. One can certainly appreciate the hallowed halls of Classic Rock without getting stuck in time. Or are we truly deaf, dumb and blind like the lead character in Tommy? Should we stay in our Classic Rock confinement, or is it time to branch out? How dysfunctional is it to think that our minds and souls depend on old songs to create new and fervent memories? In other words, is Classic Rock really good for you?
The Rock Canon
There is indeed a retro appreciation that has grown up around classic rock, especially music recorded on vinyl albums. The universal idea that rock music sounds better on vinyl has produced a whole new market for vinyl records. My own turntable was fixed a couple years ago but recently stopped cold. Something in the direct drive motor must have given out again.
Or perhaps the Technics turntable quit in quiet testimony to recently announcing closing of the store chain known as Radio Shack. That’s where
I originally bought my stereo equipment back in the late 1970s and early 80s.
Actually there is very little music in my album collection that feels good to listen to. My Bowie and Beatles and Eagles and Dan Fogelberg all still sound good. So does Joan Armatrading in that 80s sort of way. And Dire Straits. But there are so many other albums for which I just don’t have the energy or time to consider again. I won’t bore you with the names. Well, just one. Elvin Bishop.
So much of that music is tired out in my mind. It’s quite interesting to have satellite radio in my car with its choice of Classic Rock and Deep Tracks channels. But quite often a song comes on that I cannot listen to for the 1000th time and I just change the channel. Find something new, my brain keeps telling me.
Sure, on the way to Run Club on Saturday morning it sometimes feels good to pop on the 70s channel. One needs familiarity at that time of day. It’s enough to consider running 90 minutes without tiring your brain out trying to take in new music as well.
I don’t listen to music while I run or cycle. It’s generally too distracting. In some ways, it can be dangerous. I’m enough of a space cadet without having my attention occupied by the 536th listen to Space Cowboy or other 70s classic by the Steve Miller Band.
Something new
Something in me now prefers having my musical tastes challenged and stretched by the bands I hear on The Loft, for example, or The Spectrum.
After all, we buy new shoes every few months. Shouldn’t we be consuming new music as well? Aren’t our brains worn out by hearing the same songs over and over and over again? Do our minds fatigue just like our legs when our shoes are worn out?
There is a Classic Rock station here in Chicago that calls itself The Drive. But I call it The Drain, because that’s what it does to all those old songs they play. Drain all meaning from them by repetition. It’s exhausting, like running or riding the same route day after day.
Perhaps its just one of the tarsnakes in life. Classic Rock is good enough to stick around, yet it also might be wearing us down without our knowing it. Like a brake pad rubbing the rear wheel. Life’s a drag sometimes.
Worn out soundtrack
Classic Rock is fine and has its role in life. Yes, it was definitely the soundtrack of my life. I’m grateful for that in fact. The Beatles alone made life worth living more than once. I grew up air guitaring to that amazing solo in the middle of Steely Dan’s Reeling In the Years.
I also love Stevie Wonder’s music, and in fact have my own (pleasant) associations with the song My Cherie Amour. It was playing all the time during a road trip with my best friend’s family to Rehobeth Beach, Delaware. We camped that summer and the mosquitos were so bad outside that the boys were forced into the camper where my friend’s sisters were all sleeping soundly. Sometime early in the morning when the light was streaming in a slat trhough the camper’s curtains, I glimpsed a pale full breast in the early morning sunlight. And I was in love. My Cherie Amour. That’s a good memory, alright. Especially for an eleven year old boy.
Counterweights
But these thoughts are also counterbalanced by songs that drag the brain down into the abyss, or punch us in the emotional gut.
Bruce Springsteen’s album The River is one of those albums that for me is chock full of angst-ridden songs heralding the 1980s, a breakup with a great girlfriend and the ensuing falseness of the Reagan era and all those newfound conservative yuppies showing up at parties with their polo collars turned up. It was a confusing, disgusting period one does not need reminders about. Some of those songs feel like a punch in the proverbial face. And it seems like much of the world is stuck in a cycle of such negativity. America seems confused right now by its own recent history. Perhaps its time we all moved on a little. Stopped living in the recent past as some sort of “better time.” Both the good and the bad in music have staying power. Being aware of these emotional triggers can be an important tool for mental health. One wonders if society as a whole does not need to consider a little emotional or sentimental hygiene.
There is music calling us forward if we pay attention to what it’s saying. Because it really is ironic that in some ways rock-and-roll has become its own brand of conservative voice in the world. This belief that Classic Rock is somehow a canon for our existence really is a bit warped as a worldview. We’ve learned enough from sex, drugs and rock-and-roll to last a lifetime or two, have we not? Let’s all vow to give something new a listen. It will do us all a bit of good.
On Sports Illustrated, Victoria’s Secret, tattoos and other not so secret displays of self
As a devout liberal and Progressive thinker, I’m all for people being and doing what they want with their bodies. Yet something in me recoils at the manufactured imagery of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition. Or for that matter, the airbrushed models in Playboy.
The calculations and thought that goes into these supposedly sexy female images ultimately should ultimately leave one cold. Anything that calculatedly titillating should be a turnoff because it is manipulative.
Predictably, this year’s SI Swimsuit cover shows a gal pulling her suit down to the point where the male eye naturally gravitates. You have to figure a ton of planning went into that cover. It is designed to sell magazines. Lots of magazines.
In fact there’s a whole culture built around SI swimsuit covers. The swimsuit issue alone has generated more than $1B for Time, Inc. That’s a ton of money.
Actually, that’s a lot of money for a topic concentrated on so little fabric.
So we must ask: what does it really represent? At one point Sports Illustrated might have faintly claimed that it was celebrating women’s fitness. Okayyy…we saw through that one. Yes the girls were fit in most respects. But it doesn’t take much effort to stand in the surf and pull down your bikini bottoms or hold your own bare breasts. That might burn 1 calorie at most.
That left one alternative. The Sports Illustrated issue was actually about showing half-naked girls. Surprise! From the point at which Cheryl Tiegs wore that mesh swimsuit and nipples became part of the public lexicon, Sports Illustrated never looked back. It stopped apologizing or pretending it was about anything other than soft porn. And the public loved it. They even purchaed videos about the Making of the Sports Illustrated edition.
Meanwhile the models appearing in the edition went on to stardom in movies. Smart women such as Kathy Ireland leveraged their exposure into real business success. That sort of lets Sports Illustrated off the hook in terms of accusations of exploitation.
There’s money in it
But it’s also proof of the idea that there is money in sex, and the free market’s ability to exploit it. That fact puts modern day conservatives in something of a moralistic bind. The man or woman who is both socially and fiscally conservative is forced to reconcile the free market’s support for public nudity with a moral obligation to prevent women from exposing and exploiting their bodies. What’s a conservative to do?
Because it’s not a far leap from the soft porn of Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit edition to a justification for the entire pornography industry. Forbes estimates the yearly revenue of the porn industry at between $3B and $4B in revenues.
But for all its supposed revenue-generating capacity, there is an entire set-aside in the porn industry of willing participants that do not get paid much, if anything, for posting their own naked pictures online. All it takes to participate in that game is an account on a site such as Imgur or Reddit and the world is your mirror.
Eternal fascination
There’s an interesting spectrum of needs going on here. There is the eternal fascination among men with the nude female body. Yet there seems to be an equal or at least parallel audience among women who comparatively or competitively view themselves through these images.
Some blame the loosely-defined “sex industry” for manufacturing these ideas of self-exploitation and opportunities to do it. But that’s not the whole answer is it? From the Sports Illustrated models who make good money appearing in swimsuits to the girls who post .gifs on Reddit looking for feedback (or compliments) about her body, there is a need to see and be seen.
At its most basic levels there are a number of explanations to this phenomenon. There is the simple recognition that youth is flirting and temporary. A girl or gal exposing themselves for attention might just be curious and horny at the same time. Exhibitionism is not that complex an emotion. It’s a desire to be needed. Yet there’s also the probability of the sub-conscious at work. Youth is fleeting, as is plain desirability. Fitness is also fleeting. Hence all those photos of guys and girls in their workout clothes, showing tight abs and equally tight butts. There’s a reason why there are so many mirrors at the health club. People dress up to work out and dress down to appreciate it.
Oh you pretty things
Hence the allure of company’s such as Victoria’s Secret. The company makes clothing that makes women feel pretty. Some never care to share what they wear under there. Others enjoy the flair of public underwear, and the dare. It’s very much a game of hide and seek. Yet Victoria’s Secret is a $10B company. And that’s no secret. You can argue all you want about the morality of the products the company sells. People like what they deliver.
Perhaps that’s an expression of the fact that feeling sexy is not just about looking sexy after all. Not everyone that puts on a set of panties or a bra from Victoria’s Secret will looks like one of the “angel” models hired to market the brand. Everything about the marketing hints at the taboo. And yet, Victoria’s Secret has responded to its intended audience by introducing swimwear and underthings that visually enhance a women’s body no matter her breast size or other attributes. There’s a real practicality to so much of what they sell. And that, perhaps, is the real secret to their success. Pretty practicality.
Alternatives
Certainly there are quite a few men that shop at Victoria’s Secret on hopes of fulfilling their fantasy of seeing their women in attractive underwear. But it’s just as true that men who like to cross-dress will purchase items from Victoria’s Secret as well.
The formerly taboo is now open for consideration on many fronts in society. Some claim it symbolizes the downfall of culture and a sinking of morality toward base desires. Others see the current progressive state of society as a move toward honesty and empowerment. At its broadest definition, culture is expressing the full range of liberties guaranteed in the Constitution. In other words, live and let live.
The new empowerment
Not all agree on the subject of course. Some see pornography and sexploitation as a limiting factor on women’s right’s and equality. Others view the right of women to show their bodies as they wish as a real expression of those rights.
A mother raising a daughter to think independently faces some interesting challenges among all these scenarios. Do we accept our bodies for what they are? Or do we try to imitate those images found in Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret?
Into this mix comes a new model for self-empowerment. More women than ever are now participating in endurance sports such as running, riding and swimming. Learning from an early age what a body can do, and how to keep fit and manage weight to the best of one’s ability are vital tools for women. These are ultimately empowering methods of healthy self-image. Middle school and high school programs in cross country and track are attracting increasing numbers of girls to an egalitarian sport where effort equates to self esteem. Triathlons are also giving women of all ages the opportunity to take control of their own bodies.
Tats and all
But we should not leave out the art of existence, either. Which perhaps explains why so many women now choose to get tattoos. And… just like the underwear manufactured by Victoria’s Secret, some tattoos are private and some are worn quite publicly.
Tattoos were once the province of sailors and servicemen. The once-regrettable choice to get fuzzy ink images injected into one’s skin has evolved into a massively creative industry where anything is possible when it comes to ink and skin. There are an estimated 15,000 tattoo “parlors” in the United States accounting for about $2B in business. “Tats” are now everywhere, and on people of all ages. They align with the overall commitment to confront (and own) one’s body image in the larger culture. Athletes do seem to enjoy this type of personal branding. Getting tattoos is like writing the book of your life and then showing it off.
Where are that tats among the tits?
Interestingly, neither the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition nor Victoria’s Secret has shown a model with tattoos on its pages. Perhaps it is the fact that tattoos represent independence and ownership of a body by something other than the viewer places tattoos out of the picture. Most likely it is an airbrush job that keeps it that way.
What both Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret sell is the notion of availability. A woman in skimpy clothes looks available. That’s what makes the argument over what constitutes rape so difficult for some people to discern. The classic question: If a man rapes a woman for wearing sexy outfits, was she asking for it? Of course not. But that’s where moralists have such a hard time making sense of sex in culture.
Perceptions
It’s obvious from all this exposure and self-elective display that many women want to be perceived as attractive or even sexy. Yet they also do not want undeserved attention. Women training in sports bras or booty shorts often face street harassment. It can be difficult for anyone to know where to draw the line.
That’s why the most conservative cultures in the world force women to cover up their bodies and even their head or face. These cultures resist the Western ideal of objectifying women and force women to hide as a result.
But here’s the irony: both radically conservative and radically liberal cultures place their own claims of ownership on women. Conservative zealots demand strict control of the social persona through law. Liberal western cultures (especially Americans) flaunt women sexually (or strictly) for money.
Amongst this madness women are at once both competitive and appreciative toward each other. That can really confuse the issue, but especially the male mind seeking justification (or an excuse) for a prurient attitude towards women.
Swimsuits united
So Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret are perfect symbols for the contradictory social memes inherent to American society. We love to celebrate our high moral standards yet we love our base desires even more. The once staid and dependable, Sports Illustrated, documentarian of all things athletic, now reflects the moralistic challenges faced by the nation as a whole.
We love to hide our desires in conventionalities. With even the conservative media trotting pretty women out to report the news, it appears we’re having a very public debate about what America truly values. Is it actual honesty and truth about the role of women in society that we’re seeking? Or is it some sort of backwards commentary about what it means to be empowered?
And most importantly, are the rules for competing in society fixed against women before they even play the game?
One wonders. Certainly the fact that no women golfers seem to make the cover of Golf Digest magazine suggests that there are perceptions that no matter how good women get at the game of golf, they don’t deserve to be on the cover.
The long run
In many quarters of the sporting world, women still have a long way to go when it comes to be taken seriously as athletes, and as people. Fortunately in sports such as distance running and triathlon where women frequently compete on the same courses and at the same time as men, there is growing respect for the idea of women as equals, and more. There is also an absolute at work. The times run by women can be directly compared to men. There is no escaping the quality of their efforts. No false judging based on looks or body type. Women are putting it out there and letting their feet do the talking. In running. In cycling. In swimming. In triathlons.
Liberal dose of maturity
I admit I learned a lot of things from Sports Illustrated as a kid. At one point the magazine wrote a tremendously informative article on long distance running and running form. I took that article to heart and built my entire career around the advice in it. That’s a life-changing bit of journalism. They also did a cover story on Pre. And then writer and Olympic marathoner Kenny Moore contributed all those great stories on runners like Lasse Viren and more.
I also remember getting the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and retreating to the bedroom to do what most boys do with magazines like that. Maybe that’s what made me a liberal. But I doubt it.
Because as demonstrated by most patriarchal societies in the world, it is our more conservative instincts that actually turn women into objects, not the other way around. The most liberal cultures in the world accept nudity for both men and women as a fact of life. Nude beaches are no big deal. Women can safely move about without fear of being judged for their bodies. Because when everyone is nude, everyone is equal. That might be where we’re headed in America, toward a place where liberality becomes the great equalizer. It’s probably going to take a while.
In the meantime we’re left with the Big Tease of what the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition has to offer. But I think the girls should form a union, go on strike and ditch the swimsuits altogether. That would force the hand of Sports Illustrated. So to speak.
Posted in Christopher Cudworth, cycling, duathlon, half marathon, marathon, running, swimming, Tarsnakes, triathlon, We Run and Ride Every Day
Tagged airbrushing, Cheryl Tiegs, cross dressing, exploitation of women, Imgur nude pics, nude beaches, patriarchal society, Playboy models, Reddit/r/gonewild, sexploitation, sexy underwear, sports illustrated swimsuit issue, street harassment, swimsuit edition sports illustrated, Victoria's Secret, victoria's secret angels, victoria's secret fashion show, women's rights
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What to do when you run or ride into a wall of cliches
In a world full of cliches, the one that seems to annoy the most is the phrase “You’re only as strong as your weakest link.” It’s one of those condescending phrases people seem to blurt out when they see you at a disadvantage, or when you’re hurt. Or worse yet, they point it at someone that has just experienced some failing that seems to have harmed the team. In other words the most cynical bastards in the world sometimes use that phrase.
Cliches happen
You know how it works. Show up at a group run on a Saturday morning with a tender achilles and dare to gripe about it. Someone will undoubtedly huff and say the cliched phrase you hate to hear, “Well, you know…you know you’re only as strong as your weakest link.”
AS IF that is somehow supposed to help. Secretly you want to look up and blurt out a great big, “Fuck you.” Polite decorum prevents you from doing so. But later in the car you say it out loud just to get it off your chest.
In the moment you just shake your head and somehow find the strength to ignore the ugly obviousness of that statement and smile. “Yeah, you know, that’s true…” you say. But secretly you’re thinking: “I can’t wait until that asshole’s the one that’s hurt and I can say that stupid shit to him.”
Not a nice thing to say
“Fuck off” or “Fuck you” is seldom a nice thing to say. Still, it would be so much more satisfying to let fly rather than hold back. But truth be told, if we went around saying “fuck off” to the stupid, cliched things we hear each day, absolutely no one would want to hang out with us. And we’d get fired. Because the business world is full of cliches and the people saying them are often your pointy-haired boss.
Justified FU
In all the time I was caregiver to a wife with cancer, there were failings of mine that deserved a round of critical commentary. But most of the time she’d find a way to be nice about it.
With one notable exception. While trying to gulp down a horrid tasting container of liquid required before a colonoscopy, she was near gagging. It wasn’t just the taste of the stuff. She could handle that fine. But chemotherapy does evil stuff to your taste buds. Even good tasting foods are awful to a chemo patient. So imagine that nasty taste X100 and that’s what she was dealing with. It took her an hour to gag down half of it, and I for some reason got impatient with her. So I went out in the backyard to tell her to suck it up right then and there. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “Fuck. Off.”
And I deserved that. No doubt. It was insensitive of me. I’ve never claimed to be perfect. But that was so much less than perfect it deserved a caning like they dole out in Eastern Asian countries when people get caught selling or using drugs. If I’d have told her something banal such as “You know, you’re only as strong as your weakest link” at that moment she might have tackled me, held me down and choked me to death. Cliches are simply not designed to help in times of pain or crisis. Yet people use them because they know not what to say.
Habitual cliches
Athletes and businesspeople still seem to love using cliches. We pretend it’s some sort of motivational Magic Syrup. In actuality we torture each other with all kinds of cliched phrases that seem well-intentioned but actually are a way of saying “fuck you” while trying to be nice. So here, in no particular order, are the nice little “fuck yous” people use everyday. We’ve provided the “under your breath response” as a service to you.
“Noone said it was going to be easy!”….Yeah, fuck you too.
“There’s no I in team!”…Fuck you and your stupid little team.
“Work smarter not harder.”…Fuck your smartass smartness.
“If you act enthusiastic, you’ll be enthusiastic.”…Fuck you and by the way? I hope you die an enthusiastic death.
“What the mind can conceive, the mind can achieve!”…Try that while you’re puking after three miles of climbing, you miserable piece of fuck.
“Think outside the box!”…What box? This is a fucking bike, you weirdo creep.
“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”…Actually, it makes way more fucking sense to draft when the going gets tough.
“Lead, follow, or get out of the way”…Fuck you. I just farted.
“If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem”...And for saying that we can know who the real fucking problem is here.
“Raise your game.”…This is not fucking poker you stupid douchebag. It isn’t basketball, football or fucking rugby either. It’s running. Riding. Swimming. None of those is called a fucking game.
“Hang in there….” Fuck you. I’ve got balls but I’m not a set of testicles.
“Be proactive!”…Fuck that…what do you think I am, a running zit?
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”…Fine. Now I am going to use your fucking nose as a lemon squeezer.
Kind of angry
Okay. We’ll admit those responses all sound kind of angry. But that’s what cliches do to us. I mean, it should make you want to scream when you hear dismissive cliches like this one: “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.”
That is a fucking lie. Guns kill people every day. They make it easy to kill. So if you say that, you’re a lying sack of shit.
Same goes for a host of other banal phrases that are cliched euphemisms that imitate the truth without truly caring about it.
“Fair and balanced” is one such phrase that comes to mind. The very fact that Fox News feels compelled to label their opinions that way proves that the statement is not true.
Patronizing bullshit
My own son at the age of 11 once turned to me and said, “Dad, have you ever noticed when people say the words ‘good for you’ they really don’t mean it? They’re just being patronizing.”
This kid starting talking at six months old, so he learned the power of language early on. He was spot on by recognizing that some people speak those words “good for you” in a patronizing way. They’re pretending to be nice when in fact they are either jealous or dismissive of your accomplishments. “Good for you” is one of those tarsnakes that can be taken either way.
That fact of language had not occurred to me before that moment. But yes, people give faint praise out of jealousy all the time. They smile when they don’t really mean it. They’re nice to you when they really don’t like you. They pretend they don’t care that splits on the bike or pace in a 10K was faster than them in the last race. But they really do care and they quietly hate you for every ounce of goodness you seem to exude that they cannot identify in themselves. But the cliche thing to do is pretend that isn’t true.
Competitive bitches and bastards
We’re all competitive bastards and bitches pretending to be nice when in reality the thought that goes through our heads when someone beats us at anything is, “FUCK YOU!”
That’s how we all secretly roll in this competitive world. We’re not projecting anything on anyone that they don’t already know. Better to come clean and deal with it honestly than congratulate yourself falsely for being a Mean Girl inside and a Nice Girl or Boy outside. Sooner or later, people see through that too.
What you actually need right now is a dose of catharsis. So let’s take some inspiration from the Frank Slade character played by Al Pacino in the movie Scent of a Woman. He really lets fly in this clip. It is worth a view.
Here’s the actual dialogue:
I’d take a…FLAMETHROWER to this place! Out of order? Who the hell do ya think you’re talking to? I’ve been around, ya know? There was a time I could see. And I have seen. Boys like these, younger than these. Their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there is nothing like the sight of an amputated spirit. There’s no prosthetic for that. You think you’re merely sending this splendid foot solder back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs, but I say you are executing his SOUL! And why? Because he’s not a Baird man. Baird man. You hurt this boy, you’re gonna be Baird bums, the lot of ya. And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, wherever you are, fuck you too!
So here’s wishing you all a Happy Fuck You Day. (HFYD…hell yeah, let’s make this an Internet Meme.) Rotten bananas would be a helluva good image for HFYD.
Perhaps the day after Columbus Day would be a good time. Old Columbus was the worldwide traveling King of Fuck You, if you ask me. He took no prisoners and he gave no quarter. Is that an admirable trait? Maybe so. He’s got a fucking day named after him despite being a murderous bastard.
Don’t settle
The real lesson here is to not settle for the cliches, people. As far as this writer is concerned, your weakest link fucking rocks no matter what it is. Just ask Jesus about that one, for he once said that the “meek shall inherit the earth.”
So how do you nicely say “fuck you” without really saying it? You look up at the guy who made the “weakest link” statement and tell him, “That’s not really helpful. Do you know anyone who knows about achilles tendons?”
Or, you respond to the patronizingly false compliment when someone blurts a halfhearted “good for you” by looking them right in the eye and saying “Thank you. I really worked hard to make that happen.” Call their bluff. Make it real.
But just in case someone calls you the weakest link, take it to heart if there’s an element of truth or revelation in it. Then set out to prove them wrong any way you can. Wield your weakness like a fucking badge. Celebrate your humility. Be honest, and be bold. Take the lead on the next group ride and pull until you drop like a rock. Fail greatly, but test yourself and your soul. Then quietly go about the business of getting better. Because you know you can, once you get the cliched bullshit of trying to always be a leader out of the way. Or acting enthusiastic when you’re in pain and suffering. Or fucking squeezing lemons when someone promised you oranges.
Our advice is to start with a quick fuck you spoken under your breath…or when you’re out of range. Fuck you is always a great place to start when it comes to motivation. It cuts right through the cliches, for one thing. They’re the only thing actually holding you back.
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Tagged 10K, business cliches, caregiver, chemotherapy, cliches, cycling, fair and balanced, fuck off, fuck you, group ride, guns don't kill people people kill people, happy fuck you, marathon, pointy haired boss, running, training group, training ride, triathlon, wall of cliches, weakest link, werunandride
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Liv Cycling’s newest Ambassador shares the joys of cycling and triathlon
Sarah Wangerin Farsalas is a resident of Wheaton, Illinois. But that’s just a point of reference for the spectrum of highly mobile adventures in which she engages.
Farsalas is first and foremost a mother of three children. That keeps her plenty busy and active.
She is also a licensed massage therapist working with athletes and patients in rehabilitation and performance.
In her middle-mom years Sarah Farsalas is an accomplished triathlete that has qualified for national and world competitions in her chosen sport. This experience led her to become a coach through Experience Triathlon, a club based in Naperville, Illinois. In that role she counsels both beginning and advanced triathletes in the sport.
New roles
Recently Sarah was also selected as an ambassador for the Giant/Liv brand of cycling products. In that role she’ll be conducting clinics for the Midwest region focused on helping women participate in the sport of triathlons.
That new role is reflective of a larger trend toward increased female participation in endurance sports. Races all across America report more women than men competing in events such as marathons and half marathons.
The growth trend among women participating in triathlons is not quite as dramatic. Yet there is plenty of evidence that women are well suited physically and mentally to participate in endurance sports.
There are still legitimate barriers to participation by women in individual sports. Safety remains a genuine issue for women training alone, especially with the risks associated with cycling and running on public roads.
Liv Ambassador
That’s where the Liv Cycling Ambassador program comes into play. Liv is the women’s specific cycling division of Giant Cycling, one of the world’s premiere manufacturers of bicycles for recreation and performance.
Using her experience as a USA Triathlon Certified Coach and USA Cycling Certified Coach, Sarah Farsalas will be hosting a series of seminars in collaboration with Spokes Bikes in Wheaton (Danada Square) and Experience Triathlon. Each event will be designed to encourage women to participate in cycling and triathlons. Some will be more instructional while others more inspiration. These include:
- Bikes, Beauty and Brains – Introduction to All Cycling Has to Offer to Women
- Wine and Wrenches – Taking Care of our Bikes and Fixing Flats
- Lines and Tires and Bikes, OH MY! Outdoor Riding
- Training For Your First Triathlon
- Nutrition Myths and Nutrition Truths and The Mental Game of Cycling
Cycling Journey
Sarah’s own story is inspirational. She began her love cycling during rides in the company of her father. They initially rode hybrid bikes, and Sarah even used her hybrid to complete her first triathlon.
So her love of the sport did not start out with high-tech gear and super-fast rides. Instead her love of cycling grew organically through the sense of freedom she felt while riding. Now she plans to pass along that love of riding and fitness to other women. “I think that sense of freedom is important,” she says. “But a lot of women are intimidated by being out on the roads, or are scared about it. I was lucky in having my dad to guide me. He taught me how to ride. I want to do that for other women interested in riding.”
And even though Sarah Farsalas has completed Ironman races that require 2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of cycling and 26.2 miles of running, her joy in coaching and encouraging athletes is not just about racing. “Some of my best experiences have been riding places like the Shenandoah Valley or out west in California.”
In other words, it’s the riding itself that counts, not just the racing.
With an impish grin and an artful flair in her sense personal style, it is difficult at times to imagine that such a determined athlete really does lurk beneath the flouncy skirts or an off-the-shoulder layered ensemble.
But that’s the dual message Farsalas delivers in her personal and professional life. It’s great to be a woman and it’s great to be an athlete too.
Her dedication has come with a price at times. She has herniated a disk that flares up on occasion, causing training breaks and visits to the chiropractor. But those challenges are common to all athletes pushing their bodies in endurance sports.
Testing and learning one’s limits are what attracts many women to endurance sports along with weight control, cardiovascular health and the all-important “me time” that comes with training alone or with friends.
It’s no wonder Sarah Farsalas was chosen to represent Liv Cycling. She’s come through many life challenges and has plenty of insight and experience to offer other women seeking confidence and the opportunity ride and run and swim at their own pace.











