Home away from home

 

Nelson from Home.jpg

The view out my back window including the bike trail that leads toward Nelson Lake Marsh.

One of the side benefits of moving to our new place on the border of North Aurora and Batavia is its proximity to a natural area named Dick Young Forest Preserve. Within the preserve is a remnant prairie marsh called Nelson Lake. It is a classic Illinois wetland ringed with cattails, and at one time the area held rare species of gentians and other plants found only in such habitats where boggy soils turn acidic and things grow that could not grow other places.

 

The lake was once the site of a peat mining operation. There were gravel roads on one side of its perimeter. In fall, duck hunters would lease the right to enter the property and shoot ducks and geese. There were carefully constructed blinds all around the lake that stood all year after hunting season. A tiny little shed at the apex of the trail would house small wooden skiffs on which the hunters would push out into the lake to do jump shooting.

That was more than forty years ago. Since that time the lake and its surrounding farm fields and woods have all been purchased by the county to form Dick Young Forest Preserve. The man for whom the preserve is named was a progressive naturalist and botanist whose knowledge of native plants in Illinois was unparalleled.

It was the work of Dick Young that defined the reasons for preservation of the marsh and woods. Since the addition of nearly a thousand acres of land around the wetlands, a number of restoration projects has been implemented. One of these is the propagation of a large prairie. There are also oaks being planted into this prairie, and the management plan is to recreate the savanna habitat that once dominated northern Illinois.

 

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Mountain biking on the trails in Dick Young Forest Preserve

Throughout these natural areas is a network of trails. Some are principally dirt or grass. These are good for running and mountain biking. Now that I live a mere 1.5 miles away from the preserve, I’ll probably spend more time there than ever. Running the five-mile perimeter is a joy in any season. Of course when snow falls the running has to go, but a set of cross country skis is all that is needed to cruise around the lake.

 

Each winter I also don heavy boots and tromp across the frozen lake. The surface area of this environment has been shrinking the last few years. Cattails have encroached and siltation has kicked in. The lake is shrinking too fast for its own good. So I wrote the county and had a discussion with the natural areas manager. He informed me that there is a plan to consider a water retention structure to keep the lake level higher. Formerly there were beavers that moved in. Their natural dams raised the water levels throughout the natural areas complex. Somehow the beavers mysteriously disappeared.

There is a chance some local residents don’t like the lake to be so high. Over the years I’ve also encountered trappers working illegally in the marsh. They catch beavers and muskrats to sell the skins. Perhaps they don’t care if their simple greed has such negative effects on the ecosystem of Nelson Lake Marsh. One trapper pointed a gun at me years ago, threatening me to move on even though I was standing on public property, and so was he. Such is the expression of selfish motives.

 

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An oak leaf puts on a show in late autumn

It was heartening to talk with the habitat manager and learn that the county is concerned for the long term health of Nelson Lake Marsh. The process of natural succession at the lake has been nudged along by the incursion of invasive species of rushes that further clog the marsh. A drought several years ago completely dried up the lake for a season. That let other plant species push into the lake bottom, further displaced water and increasing siltation.

 

I think about all these things when I run or ride around the lake. I’ve been visiting the property for more than 35 years. It’s a part of me in many ways. I’ve seen rare species of birds and beautiful types such as least bittern, Virginia rail and peregrine falcon. Sandhill cranes breed in the marsh, and so have rare species of hawk such as harrier. These are precious resources in Illinois, remnants of a once-thriving prairie ecosystem that stretch from Chicago to Moline. The Illinois prairie is nearly extinct these days. Only 1/10th of one percent of the prairie that once existed still remains. That’s why the marsh feels so damned precious.

When I’m running or riding out there, all these memories come through from my subconscious to conscious mind. The ashes of my loved ones actually are planted on that ground. So are the important foundations of my memory, and self-identity. Yes, a place in the world can mean that much to someone.

 

Nelson Beam.jpg

Many times I’ve stayed past twilight to witness the setting of sun and birds in the reeds.

That’s why I grieved at the thought that a place in which I’ve spent so much time might be occluded. Land management practices change over the years, and political priorities shift by the philosophy of those in charge. Yet our county approved a $70M forest preserve referendum years ago, and both sides of the political aisle have taken a role in purchasing and planning land purchases. Some of that money was actually spent buying critical farmland to protect it from development. All this is proof that political opponents can get along when the cause is worthy enough.

 

So I run and ride those trails with gratitude. There have been many changes over the years, with some trails left to grow over and new ones installed to host more people traffic. I admit to a wistful feeling in realizing that the old ways of moving about at the preserve have changed. So many fall evenings were spent walking the woodland trail out to the west-side observation deck at twilight. Now the trees have grown up in front of the deck and it’s not all that useful to birders.

But I think of one early December day in particular. The weather had stayed warm through the 5th, and hundreds of duck of more than 20 species were still hanging out on the lake. I crept all the way to the edge of the cattail margins and crouched down on the haunches of a fallen willow stump. The air was perfectly still, and the voices of all those ducks peeping and quacking could be heard clearly across the water. The temps even at dusk were 75 degrees. It felt like that scene could last forever.

But overnight, a massive storm blew in with temperatures dropping well below freezing. The change in the lake the next day was profound. The ducks were gone. The lake had skimmed over with a rough, cloudy surface of ice. All was silent. Winter had arrived.

 

Nelson Sunset.jpg

Always there are big wheels turning at a natural area.

Nature is unforgiving that way. I’ve seen it come and go across the face of that landscape in many ways over the years. Running through the prairie on hot summer days can bring you to a standstill if you don’t have enough water in your system. The spring rains on hard winter ground make a loud noise, and March winds tear the cattails apart, sending even more seeds to do their dirty work. Human beings course through these conditions on their own terms. At times you feel connected to the earth. At others, you feel like an invader or some foreign creature. And you are, for the most part.

 

Still the times I’ve felt in tune with that landscape are precious and wonderful. Now that I live even closer, perhaps that relationship can grow in new ways. I hope to play a role in the new management plan, and love to lead hikes for people who want to discover what nature is all about, and where to find it. That place is my home away from home, and likely always will be.

 

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Feeling it for the Cubs

Cubs pumpkin.jpgAs a longtime resident of the Chicago baseball market, one cannot help absorb some of the painful losing history of the Cubs. Now that they have finally, finally won a World Series title, and the jinx is gone, the city and its residents can breathe a little deeper.

It’s not an unfamiliar scene. Our family jumped on the Chicago White Sox bandwagon when the team won the World Series a decade ago. This is your prerogative, to jump on the bandwagon for a sports team when you’ve lived in a metropolitan area long enough. If you put up with the moaning and groaning when things go bad with local sports teams, you deserve to go for the ride when the bandwagon kicks into gear.

History repeats itself

But when it comes to the Chicago Cubs, the bandwagon has pulled in so many times and the wheels have always come off. Back in 1984 or so, I recall standing in an Iowa bar during a college reunion event watching the TV as the Cubs were playing the San Diego Padres. We had watched the first couple games back at home, and the Cubs had murdered them with runs. But then the Padres’ Will Clark and Steve Garvey started pounding out hits and the damned Cubs found a way to lose it.

32 years have passed since then. The Cubs have sniffed the National league pennant a few times over the years, but the results have always stunk in the end.

“Not the Tarp!”

Last night the game wore into the depth of night, and I was tired. When the rains that had passed through Chicago earlier in the day descended on Cleveland, I gave up the ghost and went to bed. I laughed hard when checking Facebook before nodding off to sleep because my daughter was feeling the same sentiment. “Not the Tarp!” she wrote. That made me laugh.

Meanwhile, my son Evan was actually in attendance at the game. Not because he drove all the way from Chicago to Cleveland, but because he lives in the Lakeside district of Cleveland right now, just a few miles from the stadium.

But he lived in the very heart of Chicago’s loop for several years after attending college at the University of Chicago. The city got into his blood, and by proxy, a bit of Cubs blue flows through his veins as a result.

cubs-evanEvan isn’t some huge sports fan. But he is a guy with a knack for scoring tickets to big events. So it makes sense that he was in attendance during the biggest game in Chicago Cubs history. Late in the game, Evan roamed the decks of Cleveland Stadium with his Facebook Live feed going crazy. Dude, for a so-called non-sports-fan, you are the ultimate wizard at being in the right place at the right time.

The kid knows how to dance

That surprises no one in our family. The kid has danced his way down the streets of New York dressed as a Gingerbread Man for the Macy’s Day Parade. He’s gotten to Blackhawks games when the tickets were tough to get in Stanley Cup seasons. Evan also travels to Burning Man each summer, dancing his way through heat and dust and mania to a near religious experience.When he’s not dancing in the dust, he’s rocking some rave party through the night in New York or whatever city or group of friends wants to join in the fun. When Evan can’t find a bandwagon to join, he makes his own.

And as such, some of us live a bit vicariously through our kids. Of course, when one is jumping on bandwagons it doesn’t always work out like you want it to. Evan once climbed on a train with a bunch of friends from the University of Chicago who wanted to attend a Notre Dame football game in South Bend. As I recall, he wore only a tee shirt for the trip and the weather turned cold and wet. It was a miserable day. As a parent, you cringe on hearing such news. But we also can’t live our lives or make all choices for our children.

Just ask Joe Maddon, the Cubs manager. It’s his job to raise the team right, but in the end, the players have to go out and execute. There’s a huge moral message hidden in all this Cubs stuff.

Out in the elements

My son is also a runner. Last spring he was going to run a marathon, but did not have enough time to train for the longer event. So he ran the half-marathon in Cleveland this past spring and the conditions turned out to be worse than awful. During the race it hailed, snowed, rained and thundered. Lightning flashed and he was ultimately trapped out in an open field waiting for his friends to finish the race. The hail was beating on his running hat and stripping hair off his legs. As a runner, I totally understood how really cold and devastating a post-race chill can be. But he survived.

That cold, chilly feeling reminds me of the afternoon I spent in the company of a friend at a Chicago Cubs game twenty years ago. Our tickets were decent enough, right behind home plate. But the wind was “blowing in” that day. It was mid-May, which meant the cold drafts coming off Lake Michigan were chilly, wet and sullen. Temperatures were stuck at 42 degrees. We sat there hunched up in our jackets cheering for the Cubs. Hot chocolate was the order of the day, and we drank lots of it. To make matters worse, they lost. But we stuck it out.

Diehard

cubs-jewelrySo I believe that constitutes the groundwork for a “real fan” if you’re looking for credentials. There have been quite a few other games over the years as well. I can’t call myself a True Cubs Fan in the sense that I follow every game and result, but I have been a fan of the Cubs through good times and bad. I read their tales of trades in the papers and console my friends when their team suffers. Except when I tease them. Which is just as fun.

My brain holds some arcane knowledge of the team’s history dating back to 1969, when my Glenn Beckert and Don Kessinger baseball cards were prized even though I lived near Philadelphia then. I was Yankees fan from having grown up in New York State. But one of my friends at ten years old adored his Chicago Cubs even though we lived in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Go figure.

Simple joy

So it was a simple little joy to wake up this morning and hear from my fiancee that the Cubs had indeed won the World Series. It means there is something right with the world in some way. Forget the owners and their big league investments, and how much money it takes to buy a champion. The sports radio guys will blather for days now about how to keep the team together, or who needs to be traded. I find it all disgusting. They’ll rip the manager for pulling Kyle Hendricks too early in the game and they’ll criticize the baserunning and the like. Sports radio is the cesspool of sports fandom as far as I can see. Worse than politics, in many respects.

My taste for baseball trends more toward the innocent joys of watching a great player make a backhand grab of a hard grounder behind second base, or the crisp delight of a hard line drive ripped up the foul line. When I settle in to watch baseball, I watch baseball. The Cubs have been a fun and rewarding baseball team to watch this year. They were so good at the game they actually won the World Series. There may be a touch of hometown pride in that, and I’m feeling it for the Cubs.

Long time gone

But it’s November, for God’s Sake. Thanksgiving is a mere three weeks away. These sports seasons go on far too long. Hockey plays its championships in June. Football is like a virus that has invaded the bloodstream of America. The NBA feeds upon itself until the players run out of gas in the early heat of summer. No wonder they smoke so much pot.

So it’s with a bit of relief that we can all say “the Chicago Cubs have finally done it,” and are done for the year. Wait ’til next year can wait. Forever? Of course, spring training starts in February. That’s not that far away.

The only people crazier about their sports are endurance athletes like us. We never seem to stop training, racing or competing. We roll from the Tour to Kona without batting an eye. It’s the season that never ends.

 

 

 

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Competitive nature and grace

Florida SkyThe election season is almost over. The political debates on social media ranging from Facebook to LinkedIn to Pinterest, for God’s Sake, are almost through.

It struck me last night that the last two years have been like a prolonged session of pickup basketball in which the winning score keeps getting raised as the game goes on. “Let’s play to 20,” it started out. Then the score(s) got raised again and again. Fights broke out at midcourt, with Trump trash-talking his opponents the entire time.

Now the game is almost over, and it feels like the players are shouting, “Win by 2! Win by 2!” Back and forth it goes.

I grew up playing pickup basketball and have a competitive nature that does not quit. I learned how to win at a number of sports in fact, and got my fair share of trophies to show for it. When my sports career channeled into running, that competitiveness generally came in handy. But it isn’t always pretty.

Sore winners

I recall the time our cross country team at little Kaneland High School was undefeated. Then a strong team from a much bigger school came to town. Not only did they beat us in the meet, their athletes mocked and ridiculed us before, during and after the race. A few years later, I ran into that same program while running for different school. The Top 5 runners were all my equals, and spent the entire race cutting me off, pushing me into course flags and harassing the hell out of me during the race. It was a humiliating experience. Yet I remained defiant, and in the conference meet later that season, I beat all but one of their runners. That experience among many others taught me that you should not give in when faced with bullies or strong competitors. You need to stay strong, show your character and prevail through persistence.

It works is sales and leadership and every other aspect of life as well.

Scut Farkus

Perhaps there is some of that competitive defiance at work in debates over politics these days. There’s been a fair share of bullying going on during this election cycle, and none of us should side with bullies. Those who do tend to be toadies who can’t stand up for themselves in the first place. So they find a bigger bully to do their work for them and try to pretend they’re the tough and smart ones in this world. Think of that little sidekick who hung around with the character Scut Farkus in the movie A Christmas Story.

Later Ralphie gives Scut Farkus his surprising payback with a bloody nose and a humiliating defeat in the December snows. Farkus pushed Ralphie far enough that his competitive nature broke through the seemingly soft exterior of his physical presence. That scene is the triumph of the movie when good wins out over evil.

Classless victors

Even the seeming winners in society can act without class when it comes to expressing their competitive nature. One runner who won the conference crown in college cross country accepted his trophy and gave an embittered speech from the podium about how much he hated the team that traditionally dominated the league. It left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

I’ll confess to letting my competitive nature dominate a few conversations on social media this past year. There’s been a fair share of bullying going on during this election runup, and I’ll confess to fighting back at times. My son has encouraged me to let it go. So has my daughter, my fiance and my best friend. Reigning in one’s competitive nature is a good thing.

Grace appreciated

Back in 2000 I started writing a book titled The Genesis Fix, A Repair Manual for Faith in the Modern Age. I researched the heck out of scripture and read the bible cover to cover a couple times. The book took seven years to complete and to this day I’m proud of what it shares about the nature of faith and how it can be corrupted by literalism, legalism and power-mongering. There are strong examples of Jesus Christ fighting back against these forces of manipulation and evil. Of course, it got him killed in the end. Captured by writ of the Chief Priests and brought before King Herod and then Pontius Pilate, Jesus admirably let their own words condemn these men.

Herod felt no guilt it seems. He was keen to please the crowd and wanted to see Jesus perform miracle. When that didn’t happen, Herod grew bored and sent Jesus back for trial.

Pilate perhaps had his moment of doubt (and pain) about what to do with Jesus. It was a confusing situation. The accused perhaps raised some ruckus with his arrival in the city, but made no real threats against Rome other than the accepted theory that he was a king of some sort?

But what sort of king was he? The Chief Priests considered him a vicious threat to their authority. “He claims to be the Son of God!” they shrieked, tearing their robes and bitching up a storm.

Rallying support

The impetuous and vain always claim moral outrage. They gather crowds to justify their disgust or hatred. “Crucify him!” the crowds were urged to yell. It was all so calculatedly arranged, funded by coins from the holy treasure.

And yet Jesus showed his competitive nature by demonstrating perseverance toward a goal. It would be a symbolic act, his crucifixion, and poorly understood by those standing watch as the crossbar raised and the assemblage watched the torture take place. It was a painful and slow way to die, by all reports. That’s what torture is supposed to do. The authorities of that day and age used those means to send a message to potential enemies of the state. It was their competitive nature to reduce all such threats to ruins.

Walls and hopes

Later the Romans showed back up in town and razed the walls of the temple just to make sure the Jews and their offshoots, the Christians, heard loud and clear who was really in control. And for a time, the Jews lost hope and lived in exile. Yet they and their Christian brethren ultimately learned that the temple itself was not the heart of faith. This great change enabled people to carry faith with them wherever they go.

It’s true that Jesus spoke out against all these destructive forces, yet even he threatened to tear down the temple and rebuild it in three days. Such cryptic language challenged the rude and false authority of the leading conservative cabal during his lifetime. Those accused by his words never seemed to understand that they were the ones being indicted. As it is said, prophets are understood in their hometown. This was no exception.

Competitive nature

Stop for a moment to think about the competitive nature of Jesus Christ. Here was a person willing to endure pain and even death to secure a victory that initially would go unrecognized. Most of us clamor for a finisher medal when we finish a race. We want that recognition so bad. To “podium” is even better. Hero of the day.

And yet, few of those achievements constitute real, meaningful victories.

There is such irony to the type of victory won by Christ that many people claiming to understand the faith still do not get the nature of the accusations Christ brought against the authorities of his day. He castigated the unfeeling nature of the wealthy and those who felt no compassion for the poor. Nothing has changed in those he indicted that way. They still exist in modern times. And for all the warnings provided by the Bible, they still deny that it is their selfish nature being questioned.

These are so-called Christians who compete for the wrong prize. They prefer a working model of Jesus that fits their own competitive instincts in politics and power. Their method is to win a victory for their version of Christianity, not for Christ.

One gets accused of being sanctimonious for pointing out these hypocrisies. As in: “making a show of being morally superior to other people.” But what is sanctimony if it is simply relating the basic message of Christ?

The fight one chooses for social justice and compassion toward other people is a battle that must be fought perpetually, without ceasing, lest a powerful tide of selfish greed wash back over those in need. We have seen it again and again in America. This is a nation of conflicted values.

Mistakes, I’ve made a few

Yes, I have a competitive nature. Yes, I’ve made mistakes in my arguments on social media and on this blog. But making mistakes by being too bold in the righteous aim of social justice is the ultimate forgivable sin. So I ask forgiveness for that. Yet I will not apologize for trying.

Because just like those pickup basketball games of youth, when things could get out of control quickly, and escalate as the game wore on, it’s time now to let others play out the contest. I’ve said my piece on politics. People know where I stand. My belief system comes down to a simple definition, that of liberalism, which aligns directly with the mission of Jesus Christ in this world.

“belief in the value of social and political change in order to achieve progress”

I’ve made the case in this blog that liberalism aligns with the heart of Christian faith. Yet I’m not a proselytizer in the sense that I want to recruit you to the team. Either the words ring true or they don’t for you.

But there is one commonality we all share. It is true that we all need to change in order to grow. That is the foundation of all human endeavor, not just religion.

Those who remain fixed in their worldview are characterized in the Bible as being “stiff necked” in their stubborn, competitive nature. Out in the secular world there’s another word for it, “Assholes.”

The world is full of such people. They don’t like to change. Not one whit. They cling to the words of other stiff-necked assholes to defend their selfish worldview. But that’s the wrong kind of competitive nature if you want to place it under a moral microscope. Christ won a victory through sacrifice, not through domination. There’s a powerful message in that. The politics that reflect that giving spirit are the true alliance with grace.

 

 

 

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Reaction time

light-chrisAs a person participating in competitive sports from the earliest age imaginable, I’ve learned a few things about reaction time. That’s the ability to respond when faced with critical situations.

One might not think reaction time is much of a big deal in endurance sports. After all, we’re not playing sports where there are footballs or baseballs or basketballs involved. Yet there are still situations when reaction time is critical to performance.

This is particularly true in cycling, where avoiding collisions or road obstacles and debris can be the difference between remaining upright and being involved in a gnarly crash. As I’ve documented, I’ve had a few interesting crashes over the years. And yet reaction time saved my ass each time.

The first crash came from an incident of bike wobble at 40 mph. Yet I still managed to control the bike and get it off the road into the crash and saved my skin.

Another crash came from inattention when I was cruising along a bike trail with my head down and ran into a downed tree. Fortunately, I reacted quickly enough in the last three yards to turn my side and avoid a full-on face collision with a tree limb.

A few weeks ago I tried to bunny hop a curb next to a parking lot and wound up flipping over the handlebars. Yet again, it only resulted in a scraped helmet and a little blood on the shoulder. No broken collarbones or anything severe like that.

Proprio Boy

I credit years of playing ballistic sports with a decent skill in reaction time during situations such as there. Years of playing basketball developed a fair amount of proprioception. Sometimes while skimming the road edge I’ll find the bike tire teetering on the precipice between road and gravel and use my balance to keep it on the level.

There have been times when I’ve even been called upon to use reaction time in running. Certainly, during my career as a steeplechaser, those skills were critical. When you approach a 42″ barrier in the company of 6-8 other runners, it pays to be able to adapt in the moment. Going over the water jump was a particular favorite of mine. I could triple jump 40′ and long jump nearly 20′, so my jumping and balance were pretty solid. Often one had to slide to the side of another runner, plant a foot on top of the barrier and launch to a neutral zone where the water meets the land at the zero depth point of the steeple pit. That all takes some decent reaction time.

img_6438Intersections

This all came to mind yesterday when I was driving north on Route 25 near my home. The road comes down a hill and then angles right as it crosses another major state highway, Route 38. The speed limit is about 35MPH so you’re zipping around an S-curve and confronting that intersection at a decent speed.

It happened that the light changed just as I approached the intersection yesterday. It caught me by surprise but it had just changed to yellow as I hit the crosswalk with the front bumper of my Subaru Outback.

Then things happened fast. The driver of a tall cargo truck decided he was going to make the left turn at the precise moment I entered the intersection. There was no time to think on my part. As his front end cut off half the lane I pulled the wheel to the right, then whipped it left to conduct a screeching, swooping surge around his vehicle and in time to avoid striking the light pole at the other side of the intersection. My brain was entirely calm the entire time. That situation could have resulted in a major, head-on accident. Instead, I continued driving north on Route 31 and called out to myself, “YOU ARE THE BOSS!”

In other words, I was actually thrilled. I know that’s a sick thought. I have sick thoughts all the time though. But I completely fucking rocked that manoeuvre. Perhaps it was all possible from repeatedly watching Jason Bourne driving through the streets of Algiers or other countries at full speed. But I knew what to do, and my reaction time was fucking perfect.

As I drove north, I called one of my best buddies on the phone. I left him a voice mail message bragging about my feat. Sure, I knew there was fault on my part not anticipating the possible change in the light. Yes, I understand that there should be no “next time” when it comes to driving like that. But given that I reacted the right way, I’m taking full-on credit for being a Boss behind the wheel. Damn right.

Saving a life

possumThen I thought back to a moment more than 30 years ago on an intersection directly across the river from where I swerved around that truck yesterday. I was in the middle of a seven-mile run when the lights changed and I was forced to halt my run while standing on the northwest corner of Route 31 and 38. It was a hot day and I pulled up my shirt to wipe my face. At that moment I heard a bright THUD and dropped my shirt to find a Volkswagon Beetle car hurtling through the air. It was headed right at me and there was an older man standing on the same street corner waiting to cross. I reached over and threw my arm across his waist and pulled him down the small set of steps on the sidewalk. He tumbled unharmed onto the cement and I fell next to him.

The VW came to a crunching stop right where we were standing. It was surreal to see the vehicle perched on its side with wheels spinning. I gawked for a moment, then turned around to look for the man I’d knocked to the ground. He had stood up and was getting into a vehicle at the intersection. Apparently his wife had just pulled up at that intersection and he’d been waiting for her.

The light changed and they drove off. Not a word of thanks from the guy. Just rode away. I waited a moment and finally stood up. Then the light changed again and I jogged across the street going east across the Fox River. In the middle of the bridge I came to a sudden halt and stood there having a death shiver. “I could have been killed,” I said out loud.

Then I ran the rest of the way home with legs of jelly. But by the time I’d gotten home the incident seemed unreal, as if it had never happened. In fact I had to shake my head and try to imagine if it indeed was real. Or had I just imagined it?

I know that I did not. Because a year later the city revised the structure of that intersection to avoid those accidents. These old state highways often have very few safety considerations built in.

All I can say in retrospect is Thank God for reaction time. Without it I might not have survived that flying car years ago, or the impact with that truck in my lane yesterday. Some believe in angels who give us protection. Yet lacking those, I’ll give thanks for reaction time and give credit to God or his minions later.

 

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Two Cuties and a Scary Clown

SueKittyBunny.jpgSue and I got up Saturday morning and ran thirty minutes with some hill strides at the end. Despite the strain of moving this week, my body did not feel terrible. That meant the Sycamore Pumpkin Run 10k was not out of the question on Sunday morning. It was a beautiful day for running at fifty-two degrees and a fresh wind out of the Northeast. Sue threw on her kitten cap from the Catwoman outfit she wore for Halloween (meoowwww…) and her sister Julie borrowed some bunny ears from Sue’s daughter and we were ready to go. I also painted their faces to match their respective costumes. They made a pretty cute pair.

The Sycamore Pumpkin Run goes back quite a ways in my personal history. I placed second in 1984 at 32:24 and there were several other top five ot ten finishes if I recall correctly. But that was years ago. So the experience of running the race these days is considerably different. At 7:20 pace I could see the lead police car with its flashing lights rolling along through two miles. Somewhere ahead the leader was taking the pace out to finish at 35:00 and the victory. So it’s some small solace that in my younger days I could easily have won the thing.

That’s been the case every time in recent years. Gone are the days when I ran 32:30 and placed ninth in a crowded sub-elite field. It hurt back then but now it feels like a salve.

I even ran faster last year, managing a 42:00 10K on 10-15 miles per week. This year I’ve run a bit more, but the last three weeks have all been about moving homes. The only running I did last week was between the dumpster bags and the house. And that felt good, because it kept me sane. But I finished in 47:00 flat. 7:30 pace. Not too bad.

Crazy moves

Because moving is a crazy thing in many respects. In my case, it was the equivalent of having my life flash before my eyes. The pace at which I was making decisions on keepsakes and junk was like watching one of those old cartoons where the characters flash in and out of view. Everything takes on a herky-jerky quality with memories alternating in color and black and white. Then it all got surreal by Friday morning when I was so tired I could barely function. Y

et there were blessings mixed in with the curse of the time crunch and closing date. I’d filled four Waste Management Bagsters and was desperate to have them moved on Friday morning. I called the company and literally begged them to guarantee a pickup. But the service people held to company policy and could only tell me that I was on their schedule.

Carried away

So imagine the relief when I came up the side street and saw the WM Bagster truck pulling away at 6:00 a.m. in the morning. I said a little prayer of thanks and proceeded to the house. Nature called thanks to the thick draft of Coke I’d quaffed to wake up. My body kicked into gear and a quick trip to the bathroom was in order. Then it was time to pack and toss for another two hours.

Pete.jpgAt 8:00 a.m, I heard some footsteps creaking on the floor upstairs. I called out “Helloooo!” and then heard a door slam shut. When I went upstairs, no one was around or waiting in the yard. It would not have been entirely unexpected. All week I’d been collaborating with a series of metal pickers who stopped by my house every day to carry away all sorts of objects that could be recycled. I’d taken their cell phone numbers and even hired a man named Flavio to help with some hauling in his truck.

But there was no one there. Just a slight rise in the wind as the day broke. So I went back to work loading up cans to take to the Ace Hardware for recycling.

When it came time to leave, I went into the house to grab my computer bag and it was nowhere to be found. It struck me that someone could have entered the house and stolen the bag. But who? In any case, I called the police and filed a report. I was a mess of torn emotions. All my writing and work is on the laptop I use for work. And now it was gone.

Scary moments

Life has its scary moments and this was one of the worst as far as modern terrors go. I’d already had one laptop stolen two years ago and it’s not a fun experience. All that personal data and possibility of identity theft makes a nightmare of unknown consequences. The world is full of scary clowns who are all too happy to turn your world inside out just because they can. What felt really terrible was that the police asked me to consider who might have had knowledge of my computer bag in the first place. I was forced to consider whether my newfound metal-picking friends had possibly betrayed me.

Fortunately, my nightmare turned out to be only a twisted daydream. Because that morning when I’d rushed into the house to use the bathroom, I’d sat down and sloughed the computer bag off my shoulder behind the toilet. That was exactly where I discovered it later that morning when I returned to the house after the trip to Ace and used the bathroom again. The relief in finding that computer was immense. I bent over the sink and cried a little.

Scary clowns

So the scary clown of theft and loss and stolen identity was averted for the moment. All that remained were the challenges of time and deadlines to meet. A Permission Agreement had been granted that gave me time to finish off cleaning out the house by 5:00 p.m. Friday. Otherwise, there were serious costs to be incurred.

That was fair because some things in life are absolute. Taking possession of a house is a right granted by its purchase. I’d missed one deadline thanks to the fact that twenty years of accumulated stuff is a tough job to tackle. I’d have s0me help along the way, but many of the decisions had to be mine, and mine alone, lest something of great value be thrown away.

I wanted to avoid tossing things that might have meaning to my two children. As it turned out, a set of photo albums was buried deep in a downstairs closet. It contained pictures of my late wife that my son and daughter had never seen. Most were from a time period that my wife largely avoided in discussion with her kids. Her “party years” you might say, but the photos were precious and I handed the album along to my daughter.

the-nightmare-before-christmas-nightmare-before-christmas-32964944-1478-920For me, the balance of clearing out a home in which I’d lived so long was both a wrench and a relief. It was like Nightmare Before Christmas in which the world turns inside out in real time.

Flavio to the rescue

I finished the job at exactly 3:00 p.m. Friday thanks to assistance from a guy named Flavio, one of the metal pickers to whom I took a liking. He came by with his tools to disassemble an old stove that was lurking like an evil thug in my basement. It was still hooked up to the gas line as it had been since I don’t know when. The stove was there when I moved in, and it was too big to haul up the stairs intact without taking off railings and doors, so the Junk Genie guys waved their hands at that one.

Flavio.jpgBut Flavio tore up that stove in twenty minutes. We carried it out in parts laughing at the miracle of practicality. I paid Flavio $40 for his help and he gets to recycle the metal on top of that.

And now the move is done. So it felt good to turn my attention to something a bit less daunting like running a 10K race on a semi-sunny morning in late October.

The Clown Factor

Scary Clown Max.pngSo we showed up at the race and wouldn’t you know it? One of our close triathlon friends, Maxine Franck-Palmer, was dressed up as a Scary Clown. It was all too fitting, you might say, for her to lampoon the fears life can throw at you. In fact, she haunted the whole race, photobombing selfies and generally having a disturbingly fun time. She’s a great runner of her own accord who decided to give over her own performance to provide a bit of Halloween spookiness.

There was a time when clowns were considered counterculture reflections of life. There were happy clowns and sad clowns, colorful clowns and mimes on streetcorners. But then it was discovered that a few clowns had a very dark side to them. These clowns turned the entire clowning world upside down, and Lord knows they did it to the max. We learned that some people hide perversions or murderous intents behind the clown outfit, and scary clowns became a “thing” that the public embraced because it was too true. Some clowns are just scary.

So it was with that bit of twisted joy that Max roamed the race and haunted post-race activities with her colorful costume and crazy clown makeup. It was all in good fun. Or bad fun. Whatever. It seemed to fit somehow, and I used my phone to record a video of Max tossing a muscle roller given out by the physical therapy people. But the video is so disturbing I don’t want to leave you with that image in mind. The world has enough haunting specters of people with bright hair and garishness. Some of them are even running for office. Let’s hope we can avoid some of these scary clowns together, and the people that support them as well. Because they’re just as crazed and scary as Max in her garish gear.

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A powerful moving experience

Olympic marathoner Kenny Moore relates the tale of his job in college where he was assigned to toss lumber at a mill in Oregon. The men at the mill took a look at him and scoffed. But when matched with a work partner who could life far more than Moore, he ultimately outworked the man based on endurance, not power, and earned the respect of his lumber mill peers.

That’s how I felt this week emptying the house where I’ve lived for 20 years. It was a short haul job in terms of distance, and we’d already moved my fiancee’s belongings out of the house after a 10-day stopover until the home we’ve purchased together was ready for occupation.

 

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One of the discoveries of my recent move was this 1969 Cub Power large scale button. It will be on the chest of an ardent Cubs fan at tonight’s World Series game. 

And we’d already moved her belongings over from the rental place where she’d lived for 20 years. So we’d done a lot of moving before I even started to box up my belongings as well as some keepsakes and stuff hosted at my home for the kids.

 

For the last four days, I worked relentlessly in between some work assignments and helping organize the new place. But my home was stuffed to the gills with things about which I’d not thought or considered for many years.

And I ultimately did not make it clearing out the house for the closing date deadline. I tried mightily, and it came down to the basement after I’d cleared the upstairs of the 2700 square foot ranch and hired the cleaning woman to make it shine.

Even that took layers of digging. It’s hard to describe, but perhaps you’ll understand. But it comes down to this: All of us have too much stuff. And when life is interrupted by a death in the family as mine was three years ago, there are additional layers of difficulty and decisions to make as you ponder thick or loose piles of stuff and try to determine what is important and what is not.

Forced Objectivity

I had help but much of the real work had to be done by me. By the end my objectivity had been turned up to nine on a scale of 10, and I absolutely pitched the pile of my own CDs just to save time. The pressure is intense with a Permission Agreement deadline hanging over your head.

And then it started to rain on the most important move day of all. And it rained. And rained. But I kept moving like I was on a 30-mile training run and barely stopped to eat. Just moved stuff out to the four Bagsters I’d rented when I should have just gotten a dumpster. See, I’d done all this at my dad’s house earlier this year. We filled two full 15=yard dumpsters right to the brim. I did not imagine our house held that much stuff to throw away.

I got exhausted and still kept on. I’ll share tomorrow how it was possible to remove and vanish things that would not fit in the Bagsters, because that was a story unto itself. I made friends in the world that I never imagined possible. Strangers and more came to the rescue in so many ways.

The workout

There were times when I felt powerful, and other times empowered with a mission that could not be explained or even shared with many others. With the tight deadlines and the many decisions to make about what is important and whatnot, it was vital that it was me, and at some points, me alone making the hauls of junk and valuables up the stairs.

It made me laugh to think about the Stairmasters at the gym. They had nothing on me in terms of trips. Carrying up to fifty pounds at times, I climbed the stairs that I’d climbed thousands of times over the last 20 years.

And finally the basement was largely clear, and I brought in Molly Maid gals to sweep and mop the floors. The hard part about all this was the sudden revelations of things falling out of things. Photos I had not seen, or potential mementos stealthily hiding amongst layers of things that should not, nor need not, be kept. My late wife harbored all our kid’s schoolwork it seemed, because she was proud of them. But when it comes down to what’s important in life, no one cares what you did in third grade to impress your teachers. Or in sixth grade, or even high school.

And family history is the worst of all when it comes to stuff that amounts to junk. Right down to rattling boxes of pins and badges.

Perfect timing

The one thing that popped up as a surprise was a big old Cub Power button from 1969. How prescient it seemed to find this latent reminder of my late wife’s fandom and appreciation of the mustached Bill Buckner. Tonight that Cubs button will be riding the chest of a certain Anne de Traglia, an ardent Cubs fan if there ever was one, as she attends the World Series game in Chicago. You could say “that’s the spirit” and be right on all counts.

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The legacy of Kent Finanger at Luther College

 

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Keith Ellingson, Chris Cudworth, Steve Corson, Paul Mullen and Dani Fjelstad. Class of 1979. Luther College, Decorah, Iowa.

This week my college cross country coach Kent Finanger celebrated a birthday. Kent always encouraged his runners to appreciate that day in their life. “This is your day!” he’d egg us on! “Wow Fun Wow!”

 

That was one of Kent’s favorite sayings. The Wow Fun Wow! slogan was a simplified way of stating that no matter how hard the work might be, how tough the conditions in which you train or compete, it is always important to realize that being able to perform on that day is a great gift that should not be taken for granted.

And Kent took nothing for granted.

A few years after I graduated, the 1985 Luther College cross country team won an NCAA Division III national championship. The day was hot for the meet, yet the Luther runners peaked at the right time and brought home a cherished accomplishment for themselves and for Coach Finanger.

Raw young men

That win came on the heels of our 1978 team that placed second in the national meet behind North Central College, whose coach Al Carius is one of the most respected running coaches in all of college sport. The respect these two coaches always showed their runners is a hallmark of both their legacies. So many raw young men come under the tutelage of coaches like these and emerge as people with character, perseverance, and adaptability.

That’s certainly the job of a college coach, and Kent Finanger worked individually with every one of his athletes to bring it out. I recall so clearly a meet we ran in Mankato, Minnesota. The day had gone cool as we drove north from Decorah, Iowa, yet the trees along the course were bright yellow. Much of the running path was cinder and snaked around the campus. At the start, the opposing coach bluntly announced to the runners on the line that mile times would only be given to the first bunch past the markers, and that there may not even be mile times given along the latter parts of the course. This clearly agitated Coach Kent, who could be heard muttering about the other coach. This was a grand offense in his mind, because his philosophy was that every man counted.

Advocate for women

It was also true that Kent cared about the women he coached. In fact, the program at Luther College hosted its first two women cross country runners in 1975, my freshman year. Those two women who started the program trained together all season. Not all the men at that time showed them the respect they deserved. Yet a few years later Luther College would enjoy the accomplishments of women such as Tureena Johnson, who won individual national championships in both track and cross country. Many other great women runners went on to similar honors.

So Kenton Finanger was both a visionary and major advocate for women’s sports, and women in general. Sadly his first wife Lucia, who was a near-saint for adapting to Kent’s often overcommitted and hectic schedule, passed away from cancer in her 40s. He remarried and has lived a full life that includes spending time up north in Decorah, Iowa and winters in Goodyear, Arizona.

Shared experiences

Little did I know that I would share that pattern of losing a wife to ovarian cancer in my own life. Or that my roommate from freshman year at Luther College, Keith Ellingson, would also lose his wife Kristi to ovarian cancer as well. Convergences such as these are mysterious and yet too common. But it was Kent’s example of fortitude in life that stood strong in my mind during my grief.

Five guys 

 

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Kent Finanger celebrates his birthday in the company of family.

I entered college at Luther along with a set of runners that formed the nucleus of the team over four years. As shown in the watercolor painting (above) that I did for Kent Finanger a few years back, the five runners were Keith Ellingson, Chris Cudworth, Steve Corson, Paul Mullen and Dani Fjelstad. At various points in those years all of us played leadership roles, and Mullen and Fjelstad are installed in the Luther College Athletic Hall of Fame.

 

It would have been quite a fairy tale for us to have all scored points that day in 1978 when our team placed second in nationals. But alas, Keith Ellingson, a runner with a dynamically fluid stride, was slowed by a painful back that season. Mullen dealt with a chronic toe injury, yet consistently scored in the top five all season. Both were previous conference cross country champions and in a fully healthy state would have pulled our team even higher in the ranks. Perhaps we’d have even challenged North Central for the #1 spot. But cross country is a tough sport, and even Fjelstad, our team leader that season, came down with injury mid-season. That left it to Steve Corson, a runner who converted to cross country from playing football his fresman year, to lead us at the NCAA national meet. He barely missed All American status as an individual. And so depended on a couple freshman, Rob Serres and Tim Smith, to pull Luther into second place at nationals that year.

Psychology

But that’s how a sport like cross country works, and Kent Finanger brought out the leadership abilities of his athletes in different ways. As we approached the national meet and were feeling the effects of heavy training, someone on the team blurted that we might be burnt out. Dr. Kent Finanger with degrees in kinesiology and physiology knew better. But he was also a master of psychology.

So Kent called his coaching proteges at the University of Wisconsin, the University of Chicago and well-known coaches from all over the country to corroborate the training methods we’d used. He sought to back up the idea that we were ready to compete in both regionals and nationals. As Kent read aloud the words and letters of those famous coaches, we sat in awe and wonderment. Who would go to such trouble? Kent would.

Shut up and run

Then he told us to go out and run six miles without talking. There was an edge in his voice and we knew he meant it, because hearing Kent show frustration or anger was a rare, rare thing. So we ran those miles with nothing but the sounds of our own footsteps crunching on the semi-paved roads. We took a route called Under Phelps-Ice Cave, which passed below tall chimney bluffs of limestone that leaked water over the roads. Our footsteps echoed off the walls of limestone as we went, as if ghosts of runners past were  coursing along beside us.

At four miles we crossed the Upper Iowa river over a rickety old suspension bridge as dusk was closing. We made the climb up a 300-yard hill and came onto the long incline back toward town. By now we were cruising at sub 6:00 pace, a bit hard for a training run, but everyone was determined now to not let anything distract us.

The tests

The challenge was not through, because we barely squeaked through regionals in fifth place overall. We had not backed off training but effectively “ran through” that critical meet. But when we tapered the week before nationals, our legs surged with energy and it felt like something special would happen. And through it all, Kent had made inspirational tee shirts made up each week to inspire us in the the leadup to nationals. He sent encouragements through out SPO boxes. By the time the meet rolled around, we were fired up and ready to go.

And we made it happen. Second in the nation.

When the race was done, all of us shared hugs and posed for photos with Coach Kent. But it wasn’t until an hour into the ride back from Rock Island that it really dawned on all of us what we’d done. Coach Kent stopped the car and climbed out on the shoulder of a high road overlooking the Mississippi River. He stood there and shook his hands in the air, calling out the words, “Second In The Nation!” We all cheered because this was a man that deserved the honor of seeing his team succeed.

There were many such teams in all the years he coached. But it was perhaps the least talented runners that Coach Kent most admired. The guys and gals that would show up and train and never stand a chance to lead a race, or come anywhere close. Those were the runners that Kent invested so deeply in, and that is the hallmark of truly great man.

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Stumbling on The Fountainhead

Fountainhead.pngJust one more day of house clearing and the cleaning begins. Then we close on the sale of the house. It’s been a long journey. Almost like training for a big race. Every day there has been a workout to do. Lifting dozens of boxes out to the car and loading them back into the new house. Tromping up and down stairs. Throwing away tons of unneeded paper, and passing books along to any number of organizations.

I did stumble on my copy of The Fountainhead, the book by Ayn Rand that has garnered recent attention thanks to dedicated followers such as Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R) whose political philosophy is a confusing mix of conservative Catholicism and Ayn Rand self-determinism. In other words, he pretends to care about everybody but doesn’t seem to actually give a shit about anybody that isn’t either rich, Republican or Catholic.

Impressionable youth

I read The Fountainhead when I was a determined young man. I was taking a year or two off career matters to train and run full time. I wanted to see how good I could get if I dedicated myself to running. So I worked in a running store, managed a fitness complex and ran as much as I could. There were weeks of 80-90 miles, and in 1984 I raced 24 times and won quite a few of those races. I have no regrets about that because it was my one chance in life to race at that level.

Once it was done after three years of pumping myself up to run all the time, I decided to back off and give more time over to my new family. A couple years into my new life as a married man with children, I turned to my mother and lamented a bit that perhaps I’d been selfish doing all that running. “I don’t think so,” she replied. “You burned with intensity.”

Other pursuits

The same could be said of my writing and my painting. I wrote a book titled Admissions during my 20s, and so much that I wrote in that book has come true over time. I predicted the rise of a conservative-driven media channel on the order of Fox News. I predicted a conservative political movement I called The Mandate that took over AM radio to make its voice known across America.

But I knew nothing about publishing a book in those days and so it still resides on a Powerbook 540C computer and a set of floppy disks to which I transcribed longhand legal pads because that’s what I used to write the book while commuting by train to Chicago in the very early 80s.

I’ve decided to bring that book to life. Because as noted, so much of it has come true. I even predicted the creation of a university funded strictly by tourism and kitsch entertainment. And sure enough, the Disney corporation created something along those lines.

The one thing that I predicted that has not come true is the invention of car engines driven by magnetism and metal coils within the car frame. You’d stop to remagnetize your vehicle every 500 miles or so. I still think it’s a helluva an idea. But I’m an art major, not an industrial engineer. So it will likely never come to fruition. It will have to be left an attractive thought.

Write on

So while I transcribe that book and finish a couple more, I’ve been thinking back on what has been accomplished so far. Over the course of a lifetime, I’ve produced and sold more than 2000 pieces of art and have published more than 5000 articles as well as two books and many blogs. This is the stuff I burn to do. Every day.

I still run and ride, but with a bit more flexibility than in days past. Because I still recall the theme of The Fountainhead, which tracked the life of an uncompromising soul who floated from architecture and sculpture to work breaking rocks in a quarry. Or something like that.

See, I’ve lived that type of uncompromising dichotomy, and have learned a few things from it. But rather than turning me into an uncompromising conservative, Ayn Rand helped me realize that compassion and forgiveness should play in your life.

But even our selfish pursuits can contribute to our personal growth. A coach once told me that all my running––and the perseverance it required––was preparation for the role I’d need to play in life as caregiver to a wife with cancer. He was right.

Now that same coach that I’ve known for more than 40 years is in a fight for life with lung cancer. He has conducted himself with such character and fortitude it is inspiring to realize that he is living according to his own words, and his own rules. God Bless you Trent Richards.

Good advice

Because he has always known that life is a series of choices. Sometimes you must accept the path life gives you and make the best of it.

If you’ve ever been running in a pair of new shoes and come upon a place in the path where there is no way around a big patch of mud ahead, you know the feeling. Suc it up and run through it. Sometimes you have to accept that your new shoes will no longer be so pretty. They’ll still work even if they look dirty.

Hayseed with heart

That’s my life’s philosphy in a nutshell. I’m still a hayseed at heart that has learned a little sophistication. I’ve read books on the Philosophy of Existentialism and No Exit by Jean Paul Sartre, and accept the grim reality that life sometimes does feel like a dead end. I’ve been through bouts of depression and valleys of anxiety, and learned that trusting yourself can get you through. And trusting others too. And trusting there is even more than that out there. So I believe in both the human and the Holy Spirit, in my fashion.

 

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“James in the Street,” a painting of a homeless, wheelchair bound man in Geneva, IL. by Christopher Cudworth, 2016. I provided a new chair for James.

Thus I don’t abide by the philosophy that Ayn Rand has some sort of special insight into the human spirit. And take notice how I’ve combined the two from the previous paragraph. Men like Paul Ryan seem to have completely lost the capacity to meld compassion and determination. Their compassion stands in raw separation from their political and religious ideology.

 

These were exactly the types of people Jesus tried to warn us about when he called the Pharisees and Teachers of the Law a “brood of vipers” and “hypocrites.” They cannot get over the stumbling blocks of their own self-determined view that scripture and politics should serve their own needs. In the same way, The Fountainhead serves political purposes by taking a literal view of how self-determination should be used to dominate the business world and society. It is an immature and tragically selfish viewpoint. And extremely popular because it makes people feel like big shots.

Selfishness

There are far more of these selfish bastards lurking out there in the world than we’d like to admit. And while I’m not perfect by any means, I’ve at least made my choices by having taken a hard look at what really matters. And I’ve determined that caring for other people is even more important than caring about yourself. If that makes me a bleeding heart liberal, then so be it. I will happily die that way someday.

That does not mean I won’t challenge people or their thinking, or compete to win in those areas. That is also human nature that models the likes of Jesus Christ, who never met a challenge to which he did not respond. That’s the difference, you see. Ayn Rand’s character ran off to pound rocks when he did not get his way in the world. We’ve seen a lot of that lately in the world too.

I’ll take my lumps and admit my faults, but I haven’t let childish competitiveness of the brand advocated by Ayn Rand dominate my thinking. Nor have I let the limitations of  literalistic biblical interpretation dominate my world or religious viewpoints.

The world is better than that if we work to keep love at the heart of it.

 

 

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Gaming the system when we run, ride and swim

img_3987Perhaps some of you are into gaming, the virtual kind. My son played Warcraft and Halo and tons of other games through his early high school years, then kind of dumped the whole thing. His friends used to like when I joined in their multi-monitor games in our huge basement because I was always someone the worst players could kill. Repeatedly.

I never minded being the virtual patsy. My competitive urges have never really resided in the virtual world. However, there have been moments in my career when reality seemed like virtual reality.

Time warps 

For example, during the national cross country meet in which our team placed second, I was running 5th man, the final runner who would count in team scoring. The race went out fast, with the leader Dan Henderson going through the first mile in under 4:20 and finishing somewhere in the high 23:00 range.

That meant the rest of us flowed in his tow. And in the last half-mile I realized that it was absolutely vital not only to hold my place, but to pass two or three runners if all possible. And it wasn’t easy.

It didn’t hurt like I thought it would, but I pushed even harder. And at that moment, the entire race (the whole world in fact…) seemed to turn into a slow-motion reality play. My brain took on what seemed like an extra dimension. The last 100 yards of the race felt surreal, as if my entire being was traveling through some alternate time awareness.

And sure enough, we only beat the third place team by a couple points, and fourth was just a couple points after that. Needless to say, I was both ecstatic and relieved at the same time to have been a part of our team’s success. Typically, you only get one chance in life at such endeavors. And it was real.

Sound effects

With most virtual reality gaming, you tend to lose more than you win when you start out. And so it was in the Elk Grove Criterium, in which the racing took place on suburban streets. It was like a scene from one of the disturbing video games where everything seems like it should be quiet, but something is always happening.

There was a hairpin turn on the far northern end of the course, and all 50 cyclists in the race would slow down to squeeze around the bend, then sprint like crazed Mario characters to get back into the group. If you didn’t do this, you got dropped.

So I did it over and over again. And with a lap to go, I was happy to find myself in second place at the start line with just one more hairpin to go.

Only I’d used up all my GREEN ENERGY getting back onto the pack all those times. And when it came time to ride hard the last lap, the sound effect would have been like this….BEEEPbeeeoooooooooowwwwwhhhhooooooooooooo   clunk.

Because I was dropped like a rock.

Swim for your life

Everyone knows their first open water swim is no joke. It’s just you and the deep water and perhaps some nasty waves to make things really interesting. And this summer I donned my wetsuit and took on my first real open water swim.

Now granted, had the event been a video game, there might have been sharks chomping my legs off at the ankles. Or giant pterodactyls nipping at my head to keep me underwater. That would certainly have been interesting.

Lacking that, it was only my fears that were dragging me down.

And yet they didn’t. And I felt wonderful in the water. Liberated, really. And when it was over, my companion Sue slapped wet hands with me and said, “Good job!”

Somehow reality still feels better to me than virtual reality. Especially when I got a wet hug as well. Who really needs a controller and toggles in that situation?

 

 

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The Opposite of Goodwill

 

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This box of long forgotten items turned up while cleaning out my house. It consists of items brought back from world travels by my late wife’s grandparents.  

You gotta love a Goodwill store. Whether you buy things that no one else needs, or drop things off that you don’t need, the Goodwill store is the place to be.

 

And I have been there. A lot. Lately.

That what happens when you clean out a house in which you’ve lived for nearly 20 years. Actually, I’ve visited the Goodwill store pretty consistently for the last three years. Before my late wife passed away, she told me in the last week of her life, “Chris, I’m sorry about all the stuff.”

I had no idea what she was talking about.

But I do now. She was no hoarder. But she did have layers of prized possessions and family keepsakes that if laid end to end, could have formed a bridge across Lake Michigan.

Many of those things that have true family value, I’ve kept. But let’s be honest, there are lots of things we tend to keep in our basements and such that nobody else wants. So I’m going to give you some good advice. Start throwing away the shit you don’t need.

Do it now. Start with something recent like those 10 sets of old running shoes jamming your closet. Throw a bike or two away, or do what I did with my wife’s Silver Schwinn. Find someone who can really use it. Spruce up the Old Bike and Give It Away. It will make you feel great. I guarantee it.

Once you’ve done something like that, the whole universe will open up. You’ll find grace in giving away dishes and plates you no longer use. Or all those wedding gifts that never saw the light of day after that precious little shower they held for you. Today I gave extra KitchenAid stuff to a young couple that stopped by on bikes to inspect it on the curb. I gave them a set of dishes I no longer needed as well.

The Spoils

People who get divorced have to go through this process without choice. Splitting up the goods gets rid of the sentimental attachments mighty quick. The bitterness might remain, but that’s a different story. That’s the opposite of goodwill, you see.

But if you investigate the recesses of your soul, you will also find that you can give away the hurt too. There this thing called forgiveness that is like a Goodwill store for your hurt feelings. It works wonders. I’ve used it many times.

In fact, the first thing you should do is give away all that resentment you have toward yourself. Failings are heavy baggage to carry around. Yet we all have them. Some drag like a chain on our necks, keeping us from looking up at happiness. Even a bad race effort can sling to your conscience and haunt you for weeks, months or even years. Let it go. You don’t need that shit.

Too much shit

I had to laugh this afternoon on my way to the actual Goodwill store. I imagined that they were sick of all my trips to the dropoff station. “We’re sorry sir, the entire store is full of your shit. We have to ask you to take that stuff back home. We don’t have any room left for other customers.”

That was really funny to me. Maybe it’s not so funny to you. But here’s the weird thing about making multiple trips to the Goodwill store. You actually start to feel guilty for giving so much stuff away. It’s true. It’s like the Opposite of Goodwill. You ask yourself: “How could anyone want this shit? If I don’t want it, why would anyone else?”

But people do. Because some people like the thrill of discovering that other people’s shit can be useful in their lives. And people find “deals” on valuable stuff someone else does not want. And that is the entire principle driving the Goodwill chain’s success.

Deal with it

Weird Shit Too.jpgBut it does not save you from dealing with your own shit, and that can bring on a case of Shit Fatigue.

We all have too much shit that we own and keep. Yet when we try to get rid of some of it, a combination of sentiment and sheer physical exhaustion (from carrying it around, but it’s a workout at least) can grind you down to a pulp.

Then you start to feel something like the opposite of goodwill coming on. “I hate my shit,” you mutter as the car seems to drive itself to the Goodwill store. “And I hate everyone else’s shit too.” 

America’s Shit

In fact, that’s a great symbol for what’s going on in America right now. Everyone is sick of everyone else’s shit, so the entire country is caught up in a streak of emotion that is the Opposite of Goodwill.

The World Series of Shit

And you’ll probably see this shitfest in full action when the Cleveland Indians play the Cubs for the World Series. See, my brother informs me that while Cubs fans are hungry for a World Series title, the City of Cleveland and its Indians might want it just as bad. Or worse.

See, the ONLY TITLE that Cleveland as a city has won since 1954 or so is the recent NBA Championship. Chicago has seen the Bears, Bulls and the Blackhawks win titles. Even the Chicago Fire soccer team won a soccer title or too. But that’s been a while, for sure.

Meanwhile Cleveland has not won a goddamned thing.

So they’re not going to have any sympathy for the tragic backstory of the Chicago Cubs and the Curse of the Goat.

And let’s consider something else as well. The Cleveland Indians, for God’s Sake, are named after a population of people that were essentially wiped off the face of the map here in America. Genocide.

So we’re talking the total Opposite of Goodwill when talking about the INDIANS, because that was a different kind of World Series altogether. So the Indians are carrying around cultural shit that most Americans don’t even want to acknowledge, or like to pretend that naming a sports team after “the Indians” is some kind of honor for their fighting spirit. Sure, they did not give up without a fight in many cases, and the word Chicago is actually a confused version of a Native America word.

But truthfully, “Indians” never existed as a “thing” until European settlers gave them that generalized name based on idea that the people they’d found on the new continent sort of resembled people from India. Yet that country was still another 15,000 miles away to the West. So the name Indians was prescribed by a bunch of geographical dumb shits.

Travel light

So let’s focus for a moment on the cool thing about the original people who lived here in North America. Most of them did not carry a lot of shit around with them. The Plains Indians traveled with tipis and slung their belongings on a rack of poles. They ate what they needed and kept a few precious items. Oher than that, they lived pretty light on the land. Considered it sacred. Let it renew for the most part, and seldom conducted wasteful activities as a rule.

Same with many other cultures of people on the North American continent. The people that came over the land bridge and spread over the continent were used to traveling and keeping it simple and smart. They knew how to manage land to their needs. Of course, some of them likely still hunted the megafauna like mammoths and mastodons to extinction. The same thing happened all over the world, and is still happening to day.

move-goodsBecause no one’s perfect, and people are acquisitive by nature and try to take everything for themselves. And we wind up with basements and attics full of shit that our kids typically have to throw away when we’re dead.

So do the world a favor. Lighten up. Clear it out. Consume with conscience. Buy what you need and get rid of the rest, recycling it if you can.

Because to do anything else is the Opposite of Goodwill. And that makes you a shitty person. And you don’t want to live that way. Do you?

Getting rid of all this shit has certainly given me pause. It’s even made me think about other ways I impact this world. Yet I have recycled a ton of running shoes, and sold off a bike or two along the way. I’m doing my best to keep my shit together while getting rid of as much shit as I can.

 

 

 

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