As I’ve written before, butt cheeks are everywhere these days. From fashion-leading Instagram models to earnest guys sporting thongs on the beach, butt cheeks are no longer banned from public view.

A friend just posted this photo on Instagram of a “gentleman” fishing in some tropical surf. Clearly he’s decided to get a little behind in his work.

The dude may not be ripped or have the perfect ass that people might admire, but he’s happy in his “Sun’s out, Buns out” world. Who’s to say that he’s really wrong? The sight of a male ass may not be ideal viewing to some, but this guy doesn’t care. Deal with it.

A Cosmopolitan view

But for women, the issue of how much butt cheek to show is both a pragmatic issue and a choice of options.

Though my stepdaughter has moved out of our house, we still receive a monthly (or so) copy of Cosmopolitan magazine. These magazines migrate to our downstairs bathroom thanks to my wife, who likes order in the house. So I perused the July/August issue to find an article titled:

“So are we here for the PRACTICALLY NO BUTT COVERAGE swimwear trend or no?”

The single-page article features two opinions. One woman says, “I’m skeptical” while the other says “I’m sold.” I’m rather surprised there was no quiz to go along with the article, because that’s what Cosmo typically does. I can guess the first question from here:

“Will you be showing one or both butt cheeks this summer?”

They never make it easy to answer any of those questions.

Instead, they provided an either/or perspective on the issue.

The first gal stated, “The secondhand discomfort alone I get from imagining there’s only a piece of dental floss between my sphincter and the rest of the world is very, very real. And don’t get me started on what happens when you sit down––have we learned nothing over the past year about keeping public surfaces sanitary?”

Okay, that take goes a little deeper than talking about mere butt cheeks. But you get the picture.

The picture of Gail Gadot above shows the practical issue of dealing with a wet swimsuit no matter how much coverage it offers.

Still, the Cosmo gal less eager to show her butt cheeks closes with a practical observation. “I’m sticking to swimwear that requires a lot less upkeep in the waxing/shaving department and has the surface area for a lot more cute designs.”

The other gal, who happily insisted “I’m sold” on showing her butt cheeks rather proudly stated: “I joined team #FreeYourCheeks on a trip to Rio a few years back. Everyone on Copacabana Beach was thriving in a booty-out environment and it was inspo enough for me to give the trend a try. ‘Twas then that I understood what the entirety of Brazil already knows: Less fabric = less bikini sagging, less drying time, and less sand you-know-where.”

It’s such a Cosmo world out there

The same issue of Cosmo with the Butt Cheeks article also features an article about a woman with two––count ’em––two vaginas. She shares the true story about what it’s like to have a two uterus thing going on, how to have sex and deal with double menstruation problems.

Another article addressed about how men behave in places where the Guy-to-Gal ratio is far out of balance. It’s called the Golden Penis Syndrome. You got it, when the guy-gal ratio is in their favor, some men figure their penis is “golden” in that circumstance. Pricks.

Beyond fashion

Moving on from the world of Cosmo, it’s not just fashion swimwear where women are engaging in the FreeYourCheeks movement. Triathlete competitors have long released the buttock from confinement under fabric. Female track stars from sprinters to pole vaulters to skinny distance runners no longer worry whether their butt cheeks are catching the breeze. Some people object to women competing “in their underwear” while others celebrate body positivity.

The thing that always intrigued me is why women triathletes in those skinsuits riding dozens of miles on their bikes don’t need at least a little padding “down there.” Their bike fit must be superb to not have any weight or chafing problems.

Thus the world of butt cheeks remains a source of grand confusion and great pleasure among men in this world. Some revel in the sight of so much free ass out there. The women wearing less fabric seem to sport a mix of willful defiance and teasing obliviousness. Some show a determination not to be sexualized while others willingly attract hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram for the attention and sponsorship it brings. Even immensely serious athletes post bathing suit photos or beefcake shots because these gain likes and impressions that can lead to collabs, product placement and even outright sponsorship.

Bearing witness to all this skin has some guys (and likely gals too) feeling conflicted about the divide between reality and the digital capture of the human image. The guy below seems to have struck some sort of in-between deal with his brain.

Given the butt cheek world we now live in, it certainly must be ‘interesting’ for women to have to decide where they fit on the whole butt cheek spectrum. Choosing a swimsuit was already hard enough.

Sporting a swimsuit, a track suit or triathlon gear that leaves nothing to the buttagination is an extremely personal choice that comes with the risk of public judgment. But the jury now leans toward the “deal with it” side of the equation.

Replacement Theory

From what I can see, at this point women are taking control of the issue and replacing unwanted attention with aggressive convention. If you remove the taboo of perverse imagination from the formula of public fashion by making partial nudity and body outline normal in society, we’ll arrive at a place that is more honest, authentic and balanced with integrity when it comes to body issues.

The choice is still out there, of course. We all make our own choices in the end. That is what quickly comes to mind in our thong-strolling fellow coming in off the beach. He’s just hanging out, you might say. And to that, I say, “Have a good day.”