I love chocolate. Chocolate I love. Dark chocolate mostly. 50%. 70%. Any more cacao extracts than that, and chocolate becomes coffee. I does not love coffee. Me loves chocolate.
Here, are 10 excuses for eating chocolate. CHOCOLATE!!!!
- Chocolate may help you think better. It’s true. Or so says the Internets. In any case, eating chocolate makes a happy tongue, and tummy. And we all know the brain and tongue and tummy all have frequent conversations.
- Chocolate may make you happiers. It’s also true. There are chemicals in chocolate (the dark kind mostly) that release little happy creatures in your brain and your body. This is a good thing. Eat chocolate. Be happy.
- Chocolate can help your heart. So says the Cleveland Clinic. All because of fun food words like flavonoids. “Flavonoids help protect plants from environmental toxins and help repair damage. They can be found in a variety of foods, such as fruits and vegetables. When we eat foods rich in flavonoids, it appears that we also benefit from this “antioxidant” power.” Chocolate is rich in flavonoids. Eat chocolate=Happy heart.
- Chocolate can indicate whether you are really depressed or not. That’s a deduction made from reading this article, and not a prescription.”First, depression could stimulate chocolate cravings as ‘self-treatment,’” the article says, “if chocolate confers mood benefits, as has been suggested in recent studies of rats…” Which means the right thing to do is say “Well rats, I’m depressed. Guess I better get me some chocolate.”
- Chocolate in milk can genuinely be “Your After.” As legend goes, a few years back a bunch of kid athletes involved in a performance experiment were sneaking chocolate milk on the side. This anomaly surprised physiologists who studied the beneficial effects of chocolate milk and a giant chocolatey advertising campaign was born. However washing real chocolate down with actual milk may suppress antioxidants (see next good reason…) and thus the contradictions in dietary advice always ruin things. That is better known as the Chocolate “Before and After.”
- Chocolate is an anti-aging drug. There are antioxidants in dark chocolate along with flavonoids. While not the fountain of youth we’ve all been seeking (it won’t stop age spots or wrinkles) it helps your body to have antioxidants because they fight a nasty little effect call free radicals. Which is not a political statement of any kind.
- Dark chocolate can lower your blood pressure. That’s because the right kind of chocolate is simply bad ass. Don’t ask questions. It works.
- Dark chocolate can lower your cholesterol. It also eats up that sticky crap called LDL, the bad cholesterol in your circulatory system. Yay chocolate!
- Oh My God! We almost forgot endorphins! Chocolate releases into your brain and body a wealth of happy hormoney things called endorphins that give you an elevated mood.
- Chocolate comes in many forms, generally good. It is almost never boring, will not steal your place in line at the pharmacy and will not vote for Donald Trump. That makes it a better person than about 50% of the population in this world. Eat chocolate. Make peace. And run, ride and swim to your heart’s content. Chocolate will go along for the ride quite easily.