Let’s face it, when it comes to getting in shape there’s nothing harder than getting your ass out of bed in the morning. Even the best intentions and pledges of fidelity to a fitness regimen fade to black when it is 5:16 in the morning and the alarm went off fifteen minutes ago.
It happens to all of us. It’s just plain hard to get your ass out of bed in the morning.
So you need strategy. Remind me why I do this again?
#10. Your actual ass really is fat.
It’s not a pretty sight for any of us. And if your jeans don’t fit or your running shorts are see through because your ass is stretching the material too thin, that’s plenty of reason to get your fat ass out of bed.
#9. Your best friend is counting on you.
Getting your ass out of bed is much easier if you know your best friend or training partner is standing out in the cold or dark somewhere waiting for you. Or perhaps they’re already one cup of coffee into the morning and glancing out the window of the health club wondering when your fat ass is going to roll up and work out. Oaahhh yeah, that’s what they’re actually thinking.
#8. You need an excuse to walk past the scale
So you slept in a couple times last week and didn’t get up to run, ride, swim or lift all week. You’re three pounds up in weight and last night you had Tostitos and dip for a 9:00 snack and don’t want to think about getting on the scale. So it’s far easier to walk right past that scale and go work out.
#7. You’re out of excuses altogether
There comes a point in every fitness routine when what you’re doing, or not doing, no longer even qualifies as a routine. You’ve used every excuse imaginable to humankind to avoid doing your workouts. So you get out of bed and stand there looking at yourself in the full length mirror with that dumb look on your face and it dawns on you: “I can’t think of a reason NOT to work out.”
If you’ve been in a state of fitness depression because the fall marathon and summer triathlon season is over, and you can’t muster any real reasons to get of bed when it’s dark outside, concentrate on “small streaks” to get back into some sort of fitness groove. Start with one day in a row. Work up to two. Don’t tax yourself. You can do this.
#5. You want to share your ass in bed with someone else, but being fit makes it more possible.
Hey, getting laid is important business. That’s true whether you’re single and on the make or married and trying to keep sane. Guys and gals can both relate, a fitter ass can help you date. It doesn’t need to be a skinny ass or a perfect shape. But if you build some strength in those glutes you’ll be happy for it in a thousand ways.
#4. You actually like working out.
Sooner or later you knew we’d get to the positive aspects of getting out of bed. One of those is found in people who actually enjoy the feeling of working out. It calls you out of bed like one of those sirens in the story of Ulysses. If so, congratulations. You’re as dedicated as a Greek hero when it comes to your fitness routine.
Sure it’s getting dark and cold and did we mention dark in the morning and at night? That can push your right back under the covers. But then you start to think: If I don’t work out now, come March and April I’ll be struggling to gain cardio and core fitness and those training runs, rides and swims will be massively painful and un-fun. And that’s a damn good reason to get your ass out of bed.
#2. Life is short.
That’s right. You can sleep the rest of your life or you can do something a bit more active with your days by raising your heart rate enough to stimulate brain cells, keep your blood from stagnating or letting your body devolve in a salamander lacking cartilage, among other things. Carpe diem! Get your ass out of bed or you’ll get old too young!
We all learned from the movie Guardians of the Galaxy that a great playlist of your favorite tunes can make you into something of an awesome superhero. The Chris Pratt character danced his way through difficulty and danger to some of the most worm-ear tunes of all time. Here’s a link to those tunes. Good luck getting these out of your head. But at least they’ll get your ass out of bed.