Livestrong can be a tarsnake for those who engage in Lance Armstrong’s brand and legacy

8 years ago when I was taking up cycling to compliment my running and weight training, I mentioned to my friend Monte Wehrkamp that I had a bike but wasn’t sure it was good enough to keep up with the group rides to which I was invited.

Having been a rider many years before, he offered me a classic road bike that he no longer used. It turned out to be a little small (56cm) for my long torso, but the gesture always stuck with me as a genuine bit of encouragement.

When he brought over the bike, he was pretty sure he would never be using it or much of his other cycling gear. That meant he delivered a box of stuff, in which two cellophane-wrapped Livestrong bracelets were included.

Being well aware of Lance Armstrong’s cycling career and wins in the Tour de France (he had won 3 or 4 times by then) it was fun to have my own Livestrong bracelet. At the time my mother had begun to show signs of struggling with lymphoma, a blood-borne cancer. And 10 years before I had helped a personal friend through rehabilitation from testicular cancer. I knew how tough it was on his body. Even though he was an All-American 400 meter runner in college, the cancer took such a toll he could barely walk around the block. But we did it together those cool fall nights and he’s since fathered 3 great children and is one of the most successful high school football coaches in the state of Illinois.

I put on the Livestrong bracelet feeling tangentially connected to the cause of fighting cancer. The year was 2005.

That spring my wife began having physical problems and I encouraged her to go to the gynecologist to get checked. They found a small cycst on her ovary and scheduled a laparoscopic surgery to explore and remove the cyst. We weren’t overly concerned because my wife had had two large ovarian cysts removed back when we were dating in the early 80s.

Then the pathology report came back with news that this new cyst was ovarian cancer, Stage IIc, and possibly an aggressive form.

I remember crying the entire drive to work that next day, 30 miles of sobbing, aching fear that was not easily shaken.

But then we found doctors, worked through the HMO and managed her care through the help of friends and members of our church. The chemo was wrenching. Horrific in some ways. Side effects were unpredictable. But we began to learn to keep our antennae up and ward off these surprises. We got good at chemo, and surviving cancer.

My mother was not so lucky. At 80 years old that same year in 2005 she tried to fight off lymphoma only to discover her pancreas had cancer too. She tried one round of chemo and died of a stroke days later.

Obviously that was tough news to take given my wife’s ongoing fight with ovarian cancer. But we achieved a 2-year remission before it came back again.

During those years I built more confidence on the bike and ultimately purchased a carbon fiber Felt 4C road bike in 2006. It was a revelation to get on a really decent road bike. I could stick with the Saturday group rides, and putting in miles for fitness was much more fun.

All the while the yellow Livestrong wristband rode along with me. It has been a small symbol of fortitude through my wife’s cancer treatments in 2005, 2007, 2010, 2011 and 2012. Multiple chemo regimens, surgeries and other lifesaving treatments have ruled our lives. Battling cancer has hurt my career, as companies shy about costs of cancer coverage have found ways to get me off the payroll. One literally fired me the day after I told them my wife had cancer. Another tried to let me go and then cut off my insurance coverage. I researched the law and was able to maintain coverage under Illinois continuance. In case you don’t know, the laws protecting employees for COBRA and other insurance issues don’t reach down to companies with 16 employees or less. It’s a gray area and most of the power and authority rests with the company, not the employee. Livestrong and other cancer-oriented organizations provide legal advice and resources on subjects like that. So it makes no sense to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

For all the crowing and cheering we hear about small companies generating jobs in America, the dark side of the issue is that small companies are running in fear of rising health insurance rates. Some are now blaming Obamacare for the threat of possible higher rates, but the Bush administration did absolutely nothing about the straight-line 12% average rise in health care insurance rates from 2000-2008.

So the Livestrong bracelet on my arm is a symbol of surviving not just cancer with my wife, but also the overall legal and corporate weight of trying to maintain health care protection for families. Sometimes the battle with cancer is as much with the ramifications of the disease as it is with the disease itself. I’ve done a good job for the companies where I’ve worked, earning multiple marketing awards, writing successful nominations to earn the President recognition and finding ways for clients to innovate their marketing and communications strategies. But when companies find themselves under monetary pressure, especially an unknown like insurance costs, even demonstrated performance can go out the door.

Today, October 17, 2012, is the day Lance Armstrong stepped down as Chairman of the Livestrong non-profit formed around his legacy. There are a reputed 80 million Livestrong bracelets in circulation worldwide. You see them everywhere. People have their own reasons for wearing them. It is a symbolic gesture of support for cancer patients; friends and family who suffer through treatments. Some make it. Many still don’t.

One could argue that Lance Armstrong beat the cancer in his body but could not beat back the cancer infecting his sport. In fact, rather than trying to stop use of doping and other drugs to enhance performance, Lance Armstrong apparently became the best at it. Yes, he never officially failed a blood test. Yet anyone who has read anything about him recognizes his obsession over detail, and he simply might have enlisted to best doctors on earth to mask use of performance-enhancing drugs. The fact that he allegedly roped in teammates and even coerced them into using drugs to compete on his teams is simply a sign that he had embraced the cancer of doping rather than resisting it.

Perhaps the competitive spirit that fires Lance Armstrong could not allow him to separate fact from fiction at the time he faced that choice to dope or not. We all know Lance hates to lose. But it would have been impossible, really, for Lance alone to take on the sport of cycling. Remember the sport was still extremely Euro-centric at the time of his ascendance. Even while he competed the French newspapers hated his guts. They only liked him when he came back in 2009, looking a bit older and more vulnerable. But it turns out he may still have been doping then.

Thus a legacy is tarnished. And how many people are now sadly pulling off their yellow Livestrong bracelets to store them in a dresser drawer. Have they become a token of a seemingly happy era when pro cycling seemed on its way to becoming a beacon of hope? The fact that dozens of riders in the peloton rode with yellow Livestrong bracelets was a sign that those riders believed in the bigger cause promoted by Lance Armstrong.

I could swap my yellow Livestrong bracelet for a teal-colored bracelet symbolizing ovarian cancer. But I’ve worn the yellow Livestrong bracelet now for so long that it would seem like giving up a part of myself and neglect the hope and progress we’ve sustained while keeping my wife healthy all these years. There is still hope in our lives.

Cancer is persistent and unsentimental. It does not care if you wear a yellow Livestrong bracelet or not. Cancer is also part of the condition of all living things. Dogs can get cancer. Cats, rats and birds, too.

So rather than throw out the Livestrong bracelet on my wrist, I’m keeping it to remember that people saw and opportunity to show unity over a cause that is vital, and human, and virtuous. As it turned out, my friend Monte wound up getting back on his bike again last year after 20 years away from riding. Got himself a nice Jamis and his riding form came back quickly, losing weight and having fun on the roads again.

We have both been supporters of the Livestrong brand for years.

The fact that the human being who helped drive and invent the symbol of that cause is flawed, and that he committed to an alleged lie that helped make him famous should surprise very few, really. Sports brings out the worst in many people. But now the sport of cycling appears to be fighting back. Few could have predicted that, either.

It is life that brings out the best in people in the end and I will keep wearing my yellow Livestrong bracelet as a result. The brand is still pertinent: And that is to prevail, the ultimate goal of anyone on this earth.

But we know now the ends do not always justify the means. Someone would have to be really yellow to believe that.