It’s a Flat Earth and Fast Food world so go for it, you’re going to die anyway

A Los Angeles Times story recorded that the Clemson football team will be served fast food during their ceremonial visit to the White House.

“Clemson’s national championship football team went to the White House to be honored for winning the title, and President Trump had an elaborate feast ready for them:

“The Clemson national championship team will be coming tonight. It will be exciting,” Trump said. “Very great team. An unbelievable team. I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger Kings with some pizza. I really mean it. It will be interesting. I would think that’s their favorite food.”

The President reportedly paid for the food out of his own pocket. The reason this was necessary has something to do with a government shutdown, which the President denies was any of his doing. As reported on Vox,

“A week ago, President Donald Trump said he’d be responsible if the government shut down. Now that a shutdown is imminent, he’s trying to blame it on Democrats.

On Friday morning, with a government shutdown looming as Trump and Congress struggle to agree to a budget deal, Trump tweeted, “The Democrats now own the shutdown!”

Way to Go Coach

One wonders how it work if the Clemson football coach operated by the same standards. “Okay boys, I’m the coach. I’ll call all the plays and you execute them! If we don’t succeed, I’ll own this!”

The team goes out on the field, runs the four plays sent on the field by the coach, and none of them work. They offense runs off the field and the coach berates them. “What are you doing! Why in the hell did you run those plays?”

“You called the plays yourself coach. We did just what you said. It seemed like the other team knew what was coming!”

“Well this isn’t my fault, I can tell you that! Now go eat some junk food and drink a bunch of soda before you got back out for the next set of downs.”

Trump and Triathlon

Or what if the President was a triathlon coach. Every week he’d order you to eat junk food from Wendy’s, McDonalds and Pizza Hut. Then he’d send workouts with instructions such as these: “Now, don’t exert yourself too much. You’ll die sooner if you use up the finite amount of energy in your bodies.”

Yes, truth is stranger than fiction these days when lies and denials and backwards beliefs rule the day. I’d blame it all on the Christian nihilists that are again predicting the End of the World in 2019, which they seem to do every year, but if we all die this year it will more likely be from an asteroid semi-predicted to strike the earth on February 1st. That’s just a day before Groundhog, the morning when Trump makes a statement on whether shadows truly exist or not. “Fake News!” he likely proclaim.

Flat Earth mentality

And the world’s still turning, unless you’re a Flat Earther, in which case you believe that you could literally swim, ride and run until you hit a giant ice wall at the edge of the world.

But that’s still not as strange as the fact that an orange blob who loves fast food and believes that people shouldn’t exercise because it’s killing them is President of the United States.

About Christopher Cudworth

Christopher Cudworth is a content producer, writer and blogger with more than 25 years’ experience in B2B and B2C marketing, journalism, public relations and social media. Connect with Christopher on Twitter: @genesisfix07 and blogs at werunandride.com, therightkindofpride.com and genesisfix.wordpress.com Online portfolio: http://www.behance.net/christophercudworth
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